DEAR ABBY: "Fed-Up Father in Minnesota" (Jan. 20) caught his difficult 16-year-old daughter smoking pot and is considering sending her to a place for "troubled teens." We sent our son to such a program on the advice of an education consultant, and he almost didn't make it back alive. An untreated mental illness had been misdiagnosed as a behavioral problem, and his illness went from bad to worse.

You gave the right advice. Get an evaluation from a reputable clinic or mental health professional, then look for options as close to home as possible. Adolescence is not forever. Parents need to hang on and not be lured into thinking there's a magical solution. -- ANN IN CHAPEL HILL, N.C.

DEAR ANN: I advised "Fed-Up" to have a psychologist identify what's troubling his daughter, and that sending her away should be only a last resort. Readers were eager to comment:

DEAR ABBY: "Fed-Up" should consider an intervention like the Scared Straight program. Teens are shown where their bad behavior leads, tour a prison and see inmates serving time for similar conduct. The inmates also share their stories in an effort to turn the teens' lives around. Sometimes a rude awakening is the answer for a young person traveling down the wrong path. -- BRITTANY IN THE SOUTH

DEAR ABBY: I was sent to boarding school because I was acting out and probably on my way to bigger troubles. While there, I was exposed to more than I'd ever been at home. There were poorly supervised kids engaged in sexual activity, every recreational drug imaginable and free-flowing alcohol. I survived, but had the good sense to tell my parents and didn't return for a second year. What worked for me was attentive parents and a good therapist who provided me a safe, constructive way to sort out my issues. -- BOARDING SCHOOL SURVIVOR

DEAR ABBY: "Fed-Up" said the problem with his daughter started when he married his second wife. There are obviously issues between his wife and daughter that need resolving. Shipping the girl off won't fix them.

My stepfather was abusive to me and my brother, but our busy working mom didn't believe us. My brother began having behavioral problems at school and at home, so Mom gave in to our stepfather's suggestion to send him to military school in another state.

My brother never forgave Mom for it. He left home at 17, and they have been estranged for 33 years. It is my mother's biggest single regret. -- MARY KATE IN ILLINOIS

DEAR ABBY: I work for a non-profit child-care organization that provides community-based services to families struggling with this situation. We tailor services to meet the specific needs of a family in their home environment, providing interventions without the disruption of out-of-home placement.

Professional staff assess the case and develop a plan to resolve the issues, taking into account the family dynamic and home/school environment. This kind of family mentorship is a step in the right direction to restore relationships. -- BELINDA P., AMARILLO, TEXAS

DEAR ABBY: On the advice of a therapist, we enlisted the help of an education consultant and sent our 15-year-old son away for 21 months of psychological treatment for troubled teens. It saved his life and made us a family again. The consultant can steer the family to a reputable program that "fits." It can be an overwhelming decision, but the consultant's help was invaluable.

Don't wait too long, "Fed-Up" -- once your daughter is 18, many of the options disappear. The process isn't cheap, but what's the cost of a life? Our son is 17 now, sober, respectful and looking forward to his future. -- GLAD WE DID IT IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR ABBY: What do you think of a grandmother who has her 7-year-old grandson sit in a baby car seat when she's driving? The boy weighs 65 pounds and is 4 1/2 feet tall. His parents don't want to cause a rift with her, as she helps them after school. He looks ridiculous and must feel embarrassed in front of his friends. Should relatives intervene? -- GRANNY'S NEIGHBOR

DEAR NEIGHBOR: I took your question to a public affairs specialist with the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration. He said that children through the age of 12 should always ride in the back seat. He also reminded me that seat belts were designed for adults, not children.

According to the NHTSA, the 7-year-old should be in a "booster" seat. A booster seat positions the seat belt so it fits properly over the shoulder and chest -- the strongest parts of the child's body -- so it won't cut him or her on the neck or face in case of an accident.

The NHTSA used to recommend that children 8 to 12 years old or 4 feet 9 inches and under use a booster seat. However, it now recommends that parents visit its website, www.nhtsa.gov, to choose a correct seat. Click on the child safety section, and you'll find an area titled "Which Car Seat Is the Right One for Your Child." There are also videos in this section showing parents how to install the seats correctly.

The recommendations are national and do not vary among the states. And yes -- this information should be shared with the child's parents and the grandmother in order to ensure the boy's safety.

DEAR ABBY: At the age of 2, I was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes. I have been involved with the American Diabetes Association since I was 6. As its 2012 National Youth Advocate, I'd like to invite your readers to join me by participating in the 24th Annual American Diabetes Association Alert Day tomorrow, March 27.

Alert Day, held on the fourth Tuesday in March, is a one-day "wake-up call." On that day, the American public is invited to take the Diabetes Risk Test to find out if they are at risk for developing Type 2 diabetes. It's a serious disease that strikes nearly 26 million children and adults in the United States. Many of them don't know they have it.

Unfortunately, people are often diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes seven to 10 years after it has settled in their system. By then, the major symptoms have already developed and harmed the body, so early diagnosis is critical.

Please urge your readers to "Take it. Share it." Let them know they can protect their health and stop this disease by taking the free risk test. Just answer a few simple questions and share the fact with everyone you care about that there is a test. If they take it, they could be saving lives. -- LOGAN NICOLE GREGORY, 2012 A.D.A. NATIONAL YOUTH ADVOCATE

DEAR LOGAN: Congratulations on your selection as the 2012 National Youth Advocate. Readers, because diabetes is a serious -- but manageable -- condition, and there are simple ways to find out if you could be at risk, please pay attention to Logan's message. Visit the American Diabetes Association Facebook page, go to stopdiabetes.com or call 800-342-2383.