DEAR ABBY: I frequently talk on my cellphone in public, and I'm often irked by the comments I get from people to put my phone away. Personally, I don't see a difference between a cellphone conversation and an in-person conversation, provided I keep the noise level down. It's not like I'm talking about excessively personal subjects or anything.

I spend an hour on the train going to and coming from work, and I like to use that time to catch up with my friends. Am I wrong for constantly talking on my cellphone in public, or do people just need to get used to the era of mobile phones? -- ON THE LINE IN PALO ALTO, CALIF.

DEAR ON THE LINE: It may not be what you're doing, but rather how you're doing it. If people "often" tell you to put away your cellphone during your commute, then I have news for you: You're talking too loudly. Also, those seated around you may not want to overhear the details of your social life. A root canal can be more pleasant than hearing someone drone on for 30, 45, 60 minutes straight. So be mindful of your surroundings and considerate of others. Whether you're having an in-person conversation or talking on a cellphone, the rules should be the same.

DEAR ABBY: I have a friend, "Dara," who is a single mom. From time to time she has watched my kids while my husband and I have traveled on business. For this reason I have given her our garage door combination. Now, every time she visits, she uses our garage code and walks in through our back door. She drops off items for us and lets herself in when we're not home, then texts me afterward about "how happy the dog was" to see her or tell me to look for something she dropped off.

I have told Dara she scares me and my kids when she comes in unexpectedly. We expect her to ring the doorbell like a normal guest. I have made light jokes, but she hasn't picked up on them. What she's doing is rude, and I don't understand how she can be so comfortable doing it. Do you have any advice for me? -- INTRUDED UPON IN WISCONSIN

DEAR INTRUDED UPON: Obviously, making "light jokes" about Dara's intrusive behavior hasn't been enough to get your message across. That's why the next time she walks in on you, you should tell her plainly, directly and in all seriousness that you expect her to ring the doorbell when she visits, and to refrain from coming into your home in your absence unless she has been specifically requested to do so. And if it happens again, change the code on your garage door.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I live in a small town, so we invariably run into someone we know when we're eating out at a restaurant. If we run into people we know who have already been served a portion of their meal (an appetizer, salad or main course), we briefly say hello and then "... we won't interrupt your dinner."

What do we say when we're trying to eat and friends continue to come to talk to us throughout our meal? -- PREFERS TO EAT IN PEACE

DEAR PREFERS TO EAT IN PEACE: Smile warmly and say, "We're going to keep eating because we like our food hot. We hope you don't mind."

DEAR ABBY: Whenever I see a pregnant woman or an elderly person in line behind me who seems uncomfortable or tired, I always want to let them go ahead of me. Is this regarded as a nice gesture, or does it make them feel pathetic and helpless? I do it with the best intentions, but I don't want to offend anyone. -- RACHEL IN TENNESSEE

DEAR RACHEL: It's regarded as a thoughtful gesture. If someone feels that your deference is offensive, then he or she is free to refuse your generous offer. And if that happens -- which I doubt will happen frequently -- do not blame yourself for having extended the courtesy.

DEAR ABBY: I work in a hospital, and I'm sick and tired of people "bombing" us with their perfume/cologne at levels as suffocating as tear gas. Many patients here have breathing difficulties such as emphysema, COPD and asthma. Please have some consideration for your fellow man and stop at one squirt if you must use it at all. If we can smell you before we see you, or if we are still suffering from the perfume-induced migraine you caused long after you're gone, then you used way too much. -- HAD ENOUGH IN BIRMINGHAM, ALA.

DEAR HAD ENOUGH: You're absolutely right. When it comes to fragrances, more isn't better -- a little dab will do ya. Applying too much is not only offensive, but actually can make some well people sick and sick people sicker. And this is true not only in hospitals, but also in elevators, offices and gyms.

DEAR ABBY: You printed a letter from me on Sept. 26, 2011. It was signed "Looking for a Date -- in the Future." Thank you for printing it, and I'd like to give you an update on my life.

I now realize that men have been approaching me quite frequently, but instead of showing outright interest and asking me for a date, they ask me to "hang out" or if I'm coming over to their place -- as if they're confirming plans we never made. Because of this I have been on a few dates that I didn't realize were dates until after the fact.

But I have also been on several real dates with one particular man I'm now seeing exclusively. When I saw him, I actually took the first step and introduced myself to him instead of waiting for him to notice and approach me. I'm so glad I did because although I always hoped that soul mates exist, I was hesitant to believe that "you just know." But I do! Better yet, he does, too. He's the kindest, most thoughtful, respectful man I have ever met, and I know I'm lucky to have found him.

I feel silly and disappointed in myself for having gotten married before without feeling this way, but I'm happily learning from my mistake. I hope you'll print this so it will give others hope when it feels like there is no hope to be had. Thanks again, Abby. -- HAPPY READER IN TRIANGLE, VA.

DEAR HAPPY READER: You were sweet to write and give me an update. Not all my readers do, and it's always nice to read about happy endings. After reviewing your letter and looking back at the first one you wrote, I'm reminded that sometimes things happen when they're meant to and not before. In other words, you thought men weren't interested in you, but the truth was you weren't ready for them to be. I wish you and your special someone a happy future together.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 12-year-old girl who loves music and electronics. I sit on the swing and listen to music on my iPod through my earbuds. I do it at least a half-hour every day -- sometimes more.

When my grandma visited a few weeks ago, she tried to talk to me when I was giving my iPod my undivided attention. When I finally realized she was talking to me, I took my earbuds out so I could hear her. She told me the earbuds were going to make me deaf. (I listen on four or five notches.)

One night we were playing a card game where you have to play really fast and watch a gazillion piles of cards at once. The game made me dizzy, and I said so at the end of the round. Grandma said it was because of my iPod. It was all I could do to say politely, "No, it's not."

Is there a way to tell her to stop blaming my iPod for everything? I consider my iPod a friend. -- MUSIC LOVER IN ARIZONA

DEAR MUSIC LOVER: Loud noises can damage a person's hearing, and there is legitimate concern that the sound levels at which people listen to music cause hearing problems.

However, I suspect your grandmother is less concerned with the damage your iPod will do "on four or five notches" than she is about the fact that you don't give her your full attention when you're spending time together. I'm surprised your parents haven't mentioned to you that showing good manners means being polite, respectful and not ignoring your grandmother when she's trying to talk to you or play a game with you.

DEAR ABBY: My husband died unexpectedly eight months ago, leaving me with two young children to raise on my own. My parents are deceased. It has been a long, hard road since then. I have tried to make sure my in-laws continue having contact with my children, encouraging visits to my home and dropping the kids off at their homes when they have asked.

I recently let everyone know that, although I still miss my husband terribly, I have been lonely and I'm ready to start dating again. I was frankly unprepared for the barrage of absolute HATE that was sent my way by my husband's parents and siblings. They have cut off all contact with me and thus my children, which has left me stunned and sent my kids reeling from even more loss in their lives.

Is there something wrong or disrespectful with my wanting companionship and to be happy again? My in-laws seem to expect me to be in mourning forever, which is cruel and incredibly inconsiderate. Please help me find peace with all of this because it's tearing me up inside. -- IN TURMOIL IN DETROIT

DEAR IN TURMOIL: Your former in-laws may have been less upset had you waited a full year before letting "everyone" know that you're ready to start dating and going on with your life. Not knowing them, I can't be sure what has caused them to shun you and their grandchildren, who are their last link to their lost son and brother.

You may find peace through acceptance of the fact that as one chapter in life has closed, another is opening up and you will have a full life ahead of you. That is not wrong. As much as you may have loved your husband, now that he is gone you have every right to continue living a full and happy life with companionship and love. My deepest sympathy to you for the loss of your husband.

DEAR READERS: If you live in a state where daylight saving time is observed, don't forget to turn your clocks forward one hour before going to bed tonight. Daylight saving time begins at 2 a.m. tomorrow. Hallelujah -- it'll be lighter later!