DEAR ABBY: My 10-year-old son has a school friend, "Jeremy," who seems like a sweet, smart kid. I have seen Jeremy's dad interact with him both in and out of school. The man talks down to him and speaks harshly. This sweet boy appears to be verbally beaten down, and it makes my heart ache.

What can I do? I realize I don't know what's going on in their home. There could be other factors causing Jeremy's father to act this way. But every child deserves love and encouragement. Any advice you can give would be appreciated. -- ADVOCATE FOR KINDNESS IN KENTUCKY

DEAR ADVOCATE: Make Jeremy welcome in your home as often as you can, praise him when the opportunity arises and give him a willing ear if he needs to talk. Whatever "factors" are causing his father to treat him this way, they are no excuse for verbal abuse. Your kindness to that boy won't fix his problems at home, but it will be remembered all the days of his life. Your hospitality may be the only exposure Jeremy has to a normal, functional family.

DEAR ABBY: I got into a fight with my best friend. I'm 12, and she's 13. We could have solved our own problems, but she got her parents involved. They started saying stuff on Facebook about me and my parents. I forgave her, but I don't want to forgive her parents. Abby, what would you do? -- CAN'T FORGIVE

DEAR CAN'T FORGIVE: Your friend's parents appear to be immature and overly involved in their daughter's life. Most tweenage tiffs are resolved by the individuals having the argument. What her parents did was wrong.

If they haven't posted an apology on Facebook, they should. And if they don't, my advice is to keep your distance from all of them, because regardless of whether you have forgiven your friend, this could happen again.

DEAR ABBY: A group of about a dozen friends are planning a Caribbean cruise. My boyfriend, "Isaac," and I have been invited to join them. I love to travel. I don't get to go on trips very often and have never been on a cruise or to the Caribbean, so I'm excited.

Isaac, on the other hand, doesn't care much for travel and doesn't enjoy the ocean. He also doesn't like my friend or her husband. They are the ones who are coordinating the trip and who invited us.

Isaac rarely socializes with anyone who isn't in his circle of friends. He doesn't want to go and thinks I shouldn't go, either. Isn't it unfair of him to tell me I can't go? Would it be wrong of me to go without him? He promises that if I don't go, the two of us will go together next year. (I don't believe him.) -- LANDLOCKED IN ARIZONA

DEAR LANDLOCKED: If you don't believe Isaac when he tells you he'll do something, you must have good reason for it.

Yes, it is unfair of him to tell you that you can't take the cruise with your friends. It is also controlling. If you think you would have a good time without him, you should go. It's not like you'll be leaving for a month. He can manage without you for a few days. Instead of trying to discourage you, he should wish you "bon voyage" -- but the odds for that aren't high, so don't expect it.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married 18 years. In that time my husband has been unfaithful twice. Last week I was going through his cellphone and noticed from his emails that he had registered on a dating service and was exchanging photos with four women. I threw him out of the house.

What really upsets me is my 17-year-old son knew about the affairs and thinks it's perfectly normal for his dad to have female "friends" while we were still living together. I don't like what my soon-to-be-ex did to me, and I don't want my son thinking it's OK to start looking while you're still married.

My son finds ways to excuse his father's behavior. How can I make him understand that looking for other partners while you're married is being unfaithful? -- TEXAS WIFE WHO'S HAD IT

DEAR HAD IT: That may not be easy. Your husband, by making your son his co-conspirator ("It'll just be between us guys"), has made him a member of the "boys club" and cliqued you out. Has your son not seen how painful this has been for you? Your almost ex-husband is a terrible role model. When your son follows in Dad's footsteps -- and there is every reason to believe he will -- he will never have a successful marriage of his own.

DEAR ABBY: My girlfriend and I have been dating for four years. In the beginning, we'd split our visits between her house and mine because we live 100 miles apart.

Two years ago she stopped wanting me to come to her house. She'd say it was dirty or that she didn't want anyone there. When we plan to have me go there, the day arrives and she says she wants to break up with me because I insist on visiting her. Over the past year and a half, I have been to her place only three times. She hemmed and hawed but finally allowed it.

She claims there's no reason she's acting this way, that I'm crazy and people are putting ideas in my head. I tell her it's her behavior that makes me think she's hiding something. What should I do? -- SUSPICIOUS IN BUFFALO

DEAR SUSPICIOUS: Something strange is going on. A drastic change in someone's behavior is legitimate cause for concern. Clearly your girlfriend has a secret. She may be seeing someone or there's something else she doesn't want you to see. You are overdue in getting to the bottom of it, so stop allowing her to put you on the defensive, even if it means ending the relationship.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I received a wedding gift in the form of a donation to a religious organization in honor of our nuptials. I am strongly opposed to this organization because it excludes women from its primary mission due to beliefs I do not share. Having found this gesture to be offensive, how do I acknowledge this "gift"? -- NOT IN MY NAME

DEAR NOT IN MY NAME: What a peculiar gift for a wedding. Usually couples receive an item for which they registered, or something they can use or enjoy together. It appears that rather than give you a gift, your guest gave himself/herself a tax deduction.

For the sake of good manners, write the person a short note saying, "Thank you for sharing our special day with us."

DEAR ABBY: My husband is 70 and I'm 68. We have been married for two years. His previous wife was 22 years younger than him, and he seems to delight in bringing the age thing up. I feel so old and insecure. Have you any words of wisdom to offer me? -- THE OLD LADY

DEAR LADY: Two can play your husband's game. The next time he mentions it, tell him the reason she's his "ex" is that he was too old for her -- which is why this time he wised up and picked on somebody "his own size."

DEAR ABBY: For years, I suffered from high blood pressure and diabetes. I never had a clue that they are the two leading causes of kidney failure. After reading in your column about National Kidney Month, I decided to take your suggestion and go to the National Kidney Foundation website at kidney.org.

When I attended their free screening through the Kidney Early Evaluation Program (KEEP), I found out that high blood pressure can damage the kidney's filtering units, that diabetes is the No. 1 risk factor for kidney disease and how important it is to keep them both under control.

That screening was a wake-up call for me. I now take insulin for my diabetes and medication for my blood pressure. I have cut out salt and starch, added lots of vegetables to my diet, and 30 minutes on the stationary bike to my daily routine. My efforts have paid off. Last year when I was screened again at the KEEP, I learned that my kidney function has increased.

Tens of millions of Americans are at risk for kidney disease. Won't you please remind your readers again how important it is to be screened? For me it was a lifesaver. -- JERRYDEAN QUEEN, NEW ORLEANS

DEAR JERRYDEAN: I'm pleased that my column alerted you to your risk for kidney disease, and that you caught it in time.

Readers, March 8 is World Kidney Day. The National Kidney Foundation is again urging Americans to learn the risk factors for kidney disease and be screened so you can prevent damage to these vital organs. For advice on how to stay healthy and a schedule of free screenings -- not only during March but also throughout the year -- visit the National Kidney Foundation online at kidney.org.

DEAR ABBY: Someone gave a very inappropriate eulogy for someone my family cares about dearly. Is it worth it to say something to him? "Alton" lost his mother, a really good person who was loved by many, and he attacked her during his eulogy.

Alton shared quite a few details about his mother's life that no one needed to know. But the bottom line is, she was a good person who made some mistakes toward the end of her life. Alton is arrogant and mean and has a long history of verbally attacking family members.

People are still talking about the eulogy. There were individuals at the service who called him names, and a few walked out in tears. Word spread to people in other states within minutes after the service ended.

Is it worth pointing out to an arrogant jerk that his eulogy was appalling and has caused a lot of anger? Should one of us step forward and say something to him, or just chalk it up to "once a jerk, always a jerk"? -- COULDN'T BELIEVE MY EARS IN ARIZONA

DEAR COULDN'T BELIEVE YOUR EARS: I vote no, because I seriously doubt that anything you could say would shame an arrogant, mean jerk into admitting he made a mistake by speaking disrespectfully of his mother at her funeral. A better way to handle it would be for those who were offended to avoid him. A deafening silence may convey the message more loudly than words.