DEAR ABBY: I dated a guy named "Jake" for two years. He was my first love and he meant everything to me. Well, things happened and he broke my heart.

After a year of not really talking, Jake is now texting and calling to convince me to be his "friend with benefits." He tries to sweet-talk me by calling me pet names. Of course, I say no over and over each time he asks on the phone. But the minute we come face-to-face or hang out, I just give in.

There will always be a soft spot for Jake in my heart, and I don't know what to do. I want to stay friends because he's important to me, but I don't want to be his FWB. It brings back painful memories.

How do I say no? Am I overreacting? Should I go with the flow because it's not a big deal? I feel like I'm in a script for a bad movie. -- WANTS TO MOVE ON IN HOUSTON

DEAR WANTS TO MOVE ON: Your ex-boyfriend appears to be a super salesman. The best way not to buy what he's selling is not to listen to his pitch. The sooner you accept you can't be "friends" because you lose control whenever you see him, the sooner you'll be able to write a happy ending to this drama. As long as you sleep with Jake you will not be able to replace him with someone who can give you what you want and deserve, which is a real relationship.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend of three years, "Patrick," is smart, successful and wonderful in every way. He dresses extremely well with attention to detail. Many of his friends call him a "metrosexual."

Patrick never had braces as a child. Now, as an adult, his teeth have caved in and are very unattractive. It surprises me that he would let his teeth go or hasn't noticed how crooked and deformed they are. I'm afraid to mention it in case it would hurt his feelings. As we are thinking about marriage, the prospect of having to look at Patrick's bad teeth, that will likely worsen with age, is a deterrent.

Am I being petty and superficial or should I suggest adult braces? Patrick can more than afford them and isn't afraid of pain or going to the doctor. My own lower teeth could use some work, so maybe I could suggest we both get braces. I'm not sure what to do. -- BRACING FOR AN ANSWER IN BOULDER

DEAR BRACING: By all means talk to your boyfriend about the condition of his mouth as well as good dental health. If his teeth are as crooked as you have described, his bite is probably also off -- which can cause jaw problems when he's older. Your idea of getting braces with him is a good one, and I agree it's worth pursuing because you won't appear to be criticizing him. I hope he heeds your suggestion.

DEAR ABBY: My landlord likes to wander around the yard and driveway wearing only a towel around his waist. Sometimes he goes out of his way to talk with me while "dressed" that way. Should I be concerned? -- CALIFORNIA RENTER

DEAR RENTER: Probably not, unless his towel "slips," or California experiences more gale-force winds such as the ones that occurred last December.

DEAR ABBY: I respectfully disagree with the advice you gave to "Wants to Enlist" (Dec. 29). She is the 19-year-old woman who burns out of jobs quickly and is thinking about enlisting in the Air Force. You discouraged her.

I served honorably in the U.S. Air Force, Air Force Reserves and the Air National Guard for 14 years. Experience taught me that if I didn't like my current assignment, it was easier to tolerate it for the time being knowing it wasn't a permanent assignment. Eventually, I received orders to go elsewhere.

My military training was the best foundation for me. It taught me discipline, instilled confidence that I could handle any situation, and provided me with skills that enabled me to work with people under various circumstances.

"Wants to Enlist" needs to be honest with the companies/organizations she applies to. During the interview, she should be upfront in saying she is willing to commit to a set period of time and/or to accept a part-time position, lower pay and a flexible schedule. The employers who hired me under these terms have written me letters of recommendation, proving they benefitted from our arrangement. -- FORMER FLY GIRL IN NEW MEXICO

DEAR FORMER FLY GIRL: Thank you for offering a solution that worked for you. Responses I received to that letter provided interesting insights that "Wants to Enlist" may wish to consider. My readers comment:

DEAR ABBY: I, too, wasted years of my life job-hopping. It seemed I couldn't stay in a position longer than six months. It wasn't until late in life that I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. With therapy and medication, my life finally took on some semblance of "normal." For the first time, I finally had purpose and direction. My final job lasted 17 years. I don't mean to suggest "Wants to Enlist" suffers from the same disorder, but it deserves some consideration. -- B.P.D. IN TENNESSEE

DEAR ABBY: Once a job became routine, I lost interest. Eventually I found my way to higher education and a position where there are always new challenges. I now have a long-term and successful career. Perhaps this 19-year-old should consider attending college even part-time -- to satisfy her intellect while preparing for a more varied and challenging future. -- BEEN THERE IN LAS CRUCES, N.M.

DEAR ABBY: "Wants to Enlist" may want to be tested for ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder). For many years, I was misdiagnosed with a variety of mental health issues. Then my husband read an article about adult ADD. After checking with my doctor, I was put on medication to see if it would help. I cannot tell you the difference it has made in my life. I'm calmer, happier and have more confidence than ever. I hope this young lady will look into what might be causing her behavior because she will see how wonderful she is. -- HAPPIER NOW IN FLORIDA

DEAR ABBY: I also had difficulty settling down in one place. My solution was to become a traveling health care worker. I work for a contracting agency that sends me on three-month assignments all over the country. If I don't like a facility, I know my time there will end soon. There are local contracting agencies in larger cities if you don't want to pack up and move. This job has been the answer to my dreams! -- TRACY IN KINGWOOD, TEXAS

DEAR ABBY: One of my closest friends from childhood, "Penny," lost her husband of 30 years five months ago, after a short illness. We reconnected via the Internet and have become close again. It has been a blessing. Penny has moved back to California and has been to visit me a couple of times.

One of Penny's relatives signed her up on some online dating sites, and a seemingly nice man from across the country immediately contacted her with a beautiful email. She responded to him once, explaining her recent loss, and he has been courting her with extremely romantic daily emails ever since. Penny asked me for advice, and I told her that her loss is fresh and raw, and she should give herself time to grieve for her husband.

Penny has never been alone, and I know she's scared. However, I see big red flags and I'm worried about her. I advised that they should keep in casual contact, and if it's real now, it will still be real in another year. I think she needs time to heal. Should I stay out of it and mind my own business, or should I reiterate my concerns? -- CONFLICTED IN COASTAL CALIFORNIA

DEAR CONFLICTED: I see nothing wrong with continuing to share your thinking with your friend. You gave her good advice. Although some beautiful relationships have been formed online, this one seems to have blossomed unusually quickly.

Encourage Penny to take her time, invite him to visit eventually, and go visit him so she can meet his friends and family and get to know him better. If it turns out that remarriage is in the cards, then suggest that she contact her lawyer and have a pre-nuptial agreement in place before the wedding.

DEAR ABBY: We are in our late 40s and have two elementary school-age children. My husband and I are actively involved in our church and at our children's school. However, we have no friends we can just hang out with. We used to be part of a small group of friends from church, but one family had a falling out with the others. Somehow we got dragged into it, and now no one interacts with us anymore. The parents of our children's friends attend another church and have a group they're part of, but we are not.

When I was working, we could afford to have the kids in activities but there wasn't much time. Now that I am not working the time is there, but not the money. People our age have empty nests or are grandparents. We'd love to have friends, but we don't know how to resolve this. -- LEFT BEHIND IN SPARKS, NEV.

DEAR LEFT BEHIND: Why not invite your children's friends and their parents over? You already have something in common with them. If that doesn't work, a way to make new friends would be to sign your children up for affordable extra-curricular activities such as YMCA, YWCA, Little League or Scouting. That way, you'll meet other parents with similar interests. Another alternative would be for you and your husband to join a service club so you can meet others who contribute to the community. If you give it a try you will widen your circle of acquaintances, which can lead to friendships.

DEAR ABBY: My husband left me after 38 years of marriage. All my adult life I have been known personally and professionally as "Mrs. Brown." Now that I'm being divorced, can I legally still be known as Mrs. Brown? -- KEEPING MY NAME

DEAR KEEPING: Yes. Although you will no longer be "Mrs. John Brown," you will be Mrs. Julia Brown or Ms. Brown if you prefer.