DEAR ABBY: My father died suddenly a year ago. My sister went to his house and discovered something that deeply disturbed her. Dad was secretly gay. There were lots of materials in his home that I'm sure he never intended for us to find. Personally, I find his interests fascinating, but my sister was unhinged by it. After all, she was the one who made the discovery.

Now she's obsessed with finding out if Dad was having relations with men while Mom was alive, and if he did, did Mom know about it. I have tried telling her that there were probably lots of things that happened between our parents that are none of our business, but my sister can't let it go. She also seems upset that my reaction isn't the same as hers. I'm glad Dad was fulfilling his needs, especially in old age.

My sister was always "Daddy's girl." Any suggestions on how I can help her? -- DAD'S SON IN MIAMI

DEAR SON: I'm not sure you can. But a trained therapist might be able to. Your sister's discovery was a shock because "Daddy's girl" now realizes she didn't know her father as well as she thought she did. She's reacting almost as if she, as well as her mother, may have been cheated on.

It is almost impossible to determine who knew what and when, if both the individuals are dead. I hope, with time, your sister will be able to focus on the good times she had with her father and her obsession will lessen.

DEAR ABBY: I have a co-worker, "Amber" who has always been large. She has looked like she was pregnant the entire two years I have known her. She can also be a liar and an attention-seeker.

I am pregnant for real. Soon after Amber found out, she began telling our co-workers that she, too, is pregnant -- with twins.

She has said this before, and then she faked a miscarriage. She is now bringing ultrasound pictures to work that I discovered she had downloaded from Google Images.

Everyone knows Amber is lying, but she keeps it going like she believes it herself. Abby, should I try to save her the embarrassment and tell her that everyone knows she's faking? Or should I just sit back and see where the lying gets her? -- REALLY EXPECTING IN CHICAGO

DEAR REALLY EXPECTING: Your co-worker appears to be mentally disturbed. This is something that should be discussed with Amber's supervisor, so perhaps an intervention can be done and she can get the help she needs. As much of a concern as this is for you, it should be even more so to her employer.

Because there is no way to predict how she might react if her fantasy is threatened, you should not be the person to question it. If she's taking time from work for OB/GYN appointments, her employer could request a note from the doctor.

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating "Jared," who is the nephew of my sister's husband. Due to the family situation, this is a very weird relationship. I was widowed at 22. I am now 27, and this is the first relationship I have had since my husband died. I'm not sure what to do.

Is it wrong to date Jared? How do I introduce him to family and friends? My sister always refers to him as her nephew. That makes me feel like my relationship with him is incestuous. -- MIXED UP IN WISCONSIN

DEAR MIXED UP: Because Jared isn't a blood relative, your relationship with him is not incestuous. Introduce him to family and friends as Jared, the friend you're dating. If the relationship becomes more serious, introduce him as Jared, your boyfriend or fiance. But please stop feeling guilty about your relationship because you're doing nothing wrong.

DEAR ABBY: "Mild-Mannered Motorist in Virginia" (� HYPERLINK "http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20111226" ��Dec. 26�) asked you for a hand signal to indicate "I'm sorry" to fellow drivers when he makes mistakes behind the wheel. Not long ago, I made a not-so-serious mistake that angered another driver. When I flashed a peace sign, then moved my mouth in an "I'm sorry," the person's frown changed to a smile. We then drove on with pleasant attitudes, and I tried to watch my driving more closely.

The peace sign, of course, is hand closed, forefinger and middle finger up as in a "V." I think the whole world recognizes a peace sign. It worked for me. -- FAITHFUL READER IN ARKANSAS

DEAR FAITHFUL READER: I assured "Mild-Mannered" that my helpful readers would step forward to offer suggestions for an "I'm sorry" signal. And many, like you, mentioned giving the peace sign. Offering more options, my newspaper readers comment:

DEAR ABBY: We New Yorkers have honed silent signals to a fine art. When I'm at fault in traffic or other situations where I can't apologize verbally, I make eye contact, put my hand to my chest to accuse myself, and put my hands in a prayerful gesture to ask forgiveness. This almost always defuses the situation on the spot. Add a smile and you've made a friend as well. -- LORNA, IN THE CITY

DEAR ABBY: I, too, have made boo-boos while driving and wish I could have said "I'm sorry," but the person is usually too busy shaking a fist and screaming what are obviously obscenities to notice. I like the idea of a standard "sorry" gesture.

How about holding one hand up with your palm toward your face for just a second? (As in "I'm ashamed of what I just did.") It's simple and lets you keep your other hand on the wheel. -- CAROL IN HOUSTON

DEAR ABBY: Why not use the American Sign Language symbol for "sorry"? Make a fist with your right hand, palm toward the body and place it over the area of your heart and move it in small circles. Of course, the expression on your face pulls it all together. Sign language is used by many people, and the chance that the person you offended may already be familiar with this sign makes it a great way to convey the sentiment. -- SIGN USER IN OLD LYME, CONN.

DEAR ABBY: If I think the other driver will be able to see me, the gesture I make after a mistake is an exaggerated, slow smack to my forehead -- basically, my own Homer Simpson "Doh!" -- IN THE WRONG IN MAINE

DEAR ABBY: "Mild-Mannered Motorist's" letter reminded me of an incident a few years ago. Driving home from work, I was forced to swerve into an oncoming lane by a car driven by a young woman who was pulling onto the road from a parking lot. She didn't see me because of traffic in the lane to my right. Fortunately, there were no oncoming vehicles, and I was able to return to my lane and proceed.

At the traffic signal, I noticed the "offending" car was directly behind me. It continued following me and I started becoming concerned that I had a stalker. Turning into my neighborhood, I quickly drove up my driveway and into my garage. When I got out of the car, the young woman was walking up the driveway. She then began profusely apologizing for having caused a problem for me.

She had driven miles out of her way to offer her apology, which I gratefully accepted. Then we both thanked God for protecting us. I have never seen her again, but I hope she knows I respect her tremendously. -- PLEASANTLY SURPRISED IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR ABBY: I married "Andy" a year ago. He has three children from a prior marriage. He had a vasectomy eight years ago, but promised he'd have it reversed so we could have a child together. He didn't get around to it, but I'm pregnant anyway.

At first we felt it was our miracle baby. However, 15 weeks later, Andy is now "sure" the baby isn't his. Things have gotten so bad that I moved out of our house.

Abby, I have never been unfaithful. A paternity test will prove he's the father, but that can't be done until after our baby is born. I have scheduled an appointment with a therapist, but I'm not sure I want to reconcile with him.

Have other readers been in this situation? What was the outcome? -- PREGNANT AND ALONE ON THE EAST COAST

DEAR PREGNANT AND ALONE: Yes, other readers have been in your situation. In those cases, the vasectomy had somehow reversed itself without surgery. (Perhaps it wasn't done properly in the first place.) Your husband should consult a urologist and have his sperm levels checked. It could provide the "proof" he's looking for a lot sooner than your due date.

Because this has been emotionally devastating for you -- which is understandable -- talking with a therapist will be beneficial regardless of what you decide about your marriage.

DEAR ABBY: My stepson, "David," lives with my husband and me and our 9-year-old son. He is 20 and has been with us since he was a child because his mother couldn't control him. He had major problems in school -- detentions, failing grades, etc. -- and has been nothing but trouble. David is disrespectful, a chronic liar and a thief. He has even threatened to kill us.

David's mother bought him a car and his grandmother gives him money to buy anything he wants -- including guns. He won't get a driver's license, refuses to get a job, won't help around the house and lies to people, saying we don't feed him. He has even said his dad beats him every day.

I want my husband to give David a choice: Get his license, get a job and help around the house, or get out, but my husband refuses. His excuse is, where will he go?

My husband works out of town occasionally, and when he's gone I have our 9-year-old sleep with me and I lock the door because I'm afraid of David. What can we do? -- AFRAID OF MY STEPSON

DEAR AFRAID: Because your husband is unwilling to assert his authority, there's nothing you can do. Since he can't or won't get his son the help he needs, for your son's safety you should make other living arrangements.

The situation you have described is dangerous because David has access to weapons. Was he ever given a psychological evaluation? If not, he should have one as a condition of continuing to stay with you and his father. It may provide you with some sorely needed insight because you need more help than I -- or anyone -- can offer in a letter. Without professional help for him, I predict that your stepson will wind up in trouble with the law.

DEAR ABBY: At what point is a person considered to be addicted to prescription drugs? -- BORDERLINE IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR BORDERLINE: When the person increases the dosage beyond what has been prescribed, lies about it and/or tries to get the drugs by devious means.