DEAR ABBY: I married "Andy" a year ago. He has three children from a prior marriage. He had a vasectomy eight years ago, but promised he'd have it reversed so we could have a child together. He didn't get around to it, but I'm pregnant anyway.

At first we felt it was our miracle baby. However, 15 weeks later, Andy is now "sure" the baby isn't his. Things have gotten so bad that I moved out of our house.

Abby, I have never been unfaithful. A paternity test will prove he's the father, but that can't be done until after our baby is born. I have scheduled an appointment with a therapist, but I'm not sure I want to reconcile with him.

Have other readers been in this situation? What was the outcome? -- PREGNANT AND ALONE ON THE EAST COAST

DEAR PREGNANT AND ALONE: Yes, other readers have been in your situation. In those cases, the vasectomy had somehow reversed itself without surgery. (Perhaps it wasn't done properly in the first place.) Your husband should consult a urologist and have his sperm levels checked. It could provide the "proof" he's looking for a lot sooner than your due date.

Because this has been emotionally devastating for you -- which is understandable -- talking with a therapist will be beneficial regardless of what you decide about your marriage.

DEAR ABBY: My stepson, "David," lives with my husband and me and our 9-year-old son. He is 20 and has been with us since he was a child because his mother couldn't control him. He had major problems in school -- detentions, failing grades, etc. -- and has been nothing but trouble. David is disrespectful, a chronic liar and a thief. He has even threatened to kill us.

David's mother bought him a car and his grandmother gives him money to buy anything he wants -- including guns. He won't get a driver's license, refuses to get a job, won't help around the house and lies to people, saying we don't feed him. He has even said his dad beats him every day.

I want my husband to give David a choice: Get his license, get a job and help around the house, or get out, but my husband refuses. His excuse is, where will he go?

My husband works out of town occasionally, and when he's gone I have our 9-year-old sleep with me and I lock the door because I'm afraid of David. What can we do? -- AFRAID OF MY STEPSON

DEAR AFRAID: Because your husband is unwilling to assert his authority, there's nothing you can do. Since he can't or won't get his son the help he needs, for your son's safety you should make other living arrangements.

The situation you have described is dangerous because David has access to weapons. Was he ever given a psychological evaluation? If not, he should have one as a condition of continuing to stay with you and his father. It may provide you with some sorely needed insight because you need more help than I -- or anyone -- can offer in a letter. Without professional help for him, I predict that your stepson will wind up in trouble with the law.

DEAR ABBY: At what point is a person considered to be addicted to prescription drugs? -- BORDERLINE IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR BORDERLINE: When the person increases the dosage beyond what has been prescribed, lies about it and/or tries to get the drugs by devious means.

DEAR ABBY: At this time of year I have seen letters in your column from couples describing how they met. I hope you will print ours.

During a study break one evening in April 1937, I walked to Bruckner Boulevard Park in the Bronx to sit on a bench and watch the cars drive by. A cyclist whizzed through the center walkway, then stopped and slowly backed up to where I was sitting.

"Hello," he said. I responded. "Who are you?" he asked. "I'm Queen Elizabeth the First," I told him without batting an eye. "Well," he replied, "I'm Sir Walter Raleigh -- unfortunately, I don't have a coat to place at your feet." Then he sat down beside me. We talked, we laughed, and he walked me home.

Four years later, Ben and I eloped. That was April 3, 1941.

This year we will celebrate our 71st anniversary and have, in our lifetime together, accumulated three beautiful daughters, nine grandchildren, 20 great-grandchildren, three great-great-grandchildren and another on the way.

We have shared our tears, our joys, our failures and our successes. We have worked long hours, taken vacations, participated in sports and traveled. We have enjoyed every moment. Now in our 90s, we are financially secure, have a caring family and many beautiful memories. Ben, however, has not as yet placed his coat at my feet. -- BELLA IN NEW YORK

DEAR BELLA: No -- he took you on a lifetime magic carpet ride instead. May you enjoy many more years of happiness together.

DEAR ABBY: Last weekend I went to a birthday slumber party at a friend's house. We played poker as we often do, then one girl suggested we play strip poker. She was kind of pushy about it. I wasn't comfortable with the idea and chose not to participate. I was the only one. Everybody laughed at me. They called me a prude and told me "all girls look the same."

I don't think I'm a prude. I'm not shy about undressing in front of my sister and friends. I'm just not comfortable about something like this and saw no point to it. I mean, if "we're all the same," then what's the reason for exposing our bodies to each other? Everybody thought it was fun, and those who ended up taking it all off laughed about it.

Is there something wrong with me? Now they're talking about doing it at future slumber parties, so I'm not sure how to handle it. I could just not attend, but this is the group I hang out with, and I don't like to miss out. -- NO PRUDE IN SACRAMENTO

DEAR NO PRUDE: Not only is there nothing wrong with you, I applaud you for not giving in to peer pressure and doing something you didn't feel was right. It took maturity to refuse.

Because you're not comfortable playing strip poker, you should make other plans for those nights. This doesn't mean you shouldn't socialize with your friends -- but if their idea of a fun time is strip poker, consider cultivating a few more relationships with girls who have broader interests. That way you'll have something to do on nights they are playing -- until they grow bored with the game. (And they will.)

TO MY READERS IN ABBYLAND:

I'd like to make my feelings clear,

I love you "Abbdicts" far and near.

Your comments challenge and enlighten,

stimulate and often brighten.

Yes, I know you're sometimes critical,

but you're always analytical.

So on this Happy Valentine's Day

I send a heart full of love your way. -- ABBY

DEAR ABBY: I have been divorced for two years and am friendly with a man, "Byron," whose friendship I value. A few weeks ago we decided to explore a dating relationship. Unfortunately, the past couple of weeks have been busy for me. We haven't been able to spend as much time together as either of us would like.

Last night Byron texted me, saying he "knew where this was going" and thought we should "talk about it." He subsequently said he thinks I wasn't being honest about wanting to spend time together.

When I reassured him, he explained that he has abandonment issues. Now I feel I must be careful not to do anything that might cause him to panic.

Should I back off now and try to salvage the friendship, or should I give the romance a chance? His paranoid actions so early into this stage of our relationship have made me uncomfortable. It's as if he's asking for a guarantee already. -- UNEASY IN SOUTH DAKOTA

DEAR UNEASY: I don't blame you for having second thoughts. Byron appears to be someone who also has trust issues, and that he would tell you he thinks you haven't been honest with him is cause for concern. You have been friendly for some time; therefore, he should have assessed your character before this. Back off, because the only person who can resolve his insecurities is Byron. Your instincts are correct.

DEAR ABBY: My mother-in-law recently moved into our home to escape a bad relationship. While I'm happy to have her, increasingly I want to send her packing.

She constantly "baby talks," whether in the house or, God forbid, out in public. It drives me nuts. I sometimes wonder if she needs a knock upside the head for a "reboot."

My wife agrees it's annoying and needs to stop. But how do you tell a well-educated, mature adult that she sounds like an idiot and it's embarrassing to be with her in public? Sometimes her mannerisms even resemble those of a toddler. -- GOO-GOO-GOING CRAZY IN CONNECTICUT

DEAR CRAZY: Has your mother-in-law always been like this? If the answer is yes, then she thinks her behavior is "cute" because she has gotten away with it for so many years and now does it unconsciously. If the answer is no, then perhaps it's time to have her evaluated.

DEAR ABBY: You often suggest volunteer work as a way of combating loneliness or boredom. Research has shown that volunteering has health benefits as well as social benefits. In addition to the pride, satisfaction and accomplishment for the individuals involved, volunteer work also strengthens communities. That's why I hope you will support Project Linus by telling your readers about its national Make a Blanket Day on Saturday, Feb. 18.

On that day volunteers across the country will be making quilts, blankets and afghans that will be donated to children ages 0-18 who are experiencing stressful situations such as hospitalizations, natural disasters, foster care and homelessness.

No sewing skills are required. Volunteers can help if they can thread a needle, cut with scissors and tie a knot. Thank you, Abby, for sharing the information about this worthwhile project with your many readers. -- KAREN IN SNOHOMISH, WASH.

DEAR KAREN: I'm pleased to help spread the word. Dear Abby readers are the kindest, most generous people in the world. Those who are interested in obtaining more information, or locating a local chapter that will be sponsoring a work party on Feb. 18, should visit www.projectlinus.org.