DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, "Brady," broke up with me in November. Five weeks later he became engaged to someone else. I found out after that I have genital warts. My yearly exams never showed any problems before, so I know I got them from Brady. I'm getting treatment now, but I'll be contagious for the rest of my life.

I have been unable to tell Brady about this because he won't respond to my attempts to contact him. I'm now trying to decide if I should tell his fiancee. I know he wants children, and this disease can have some serious repercussions if she gets pregnant.

Do I leave this woman in the dark, or should I give her the medical information she and her doctors should have? -- NEEDS TO DO THE RIGHT THING IN NEW YORK

DEAR NEEDS TO DO THE RIGHT THING: Five weeks into a relationship is a whirlwind courtship, unless Brady was cheating on you with his fiancee before your breakup. If that's the case, she may be the person who infected Brady.

Since he won't respond to you, send him a registered letter informing him of your diagnosis, and any other information about genital warts you feel is relevant. If you're worried that the fiancee is in the dark about this, send her a copy -- also by registered mail. That way you'll know it was received.

DEAR ABBY: I am the product of an interracial relationship from the late '60s. My maternal grandmother wanted nothing to do with me and made my teenage mother give me up for adoption. Before my biological mother passed away a few years ago, her dying wish was for my grandmother and me to form a relationship. She didn't want her mother to be alone in her final years.

I made an attempt to forge a relationship with my grandmother only to be told that she didn't like me because of the color of my skin. Since then, I have been having bad dreams of my mother being disappointed in me because I didn't fulfill her wish. Please advise me on what I should do. -- UNACCEPTED IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR UNACCEPTED: It takes two people to form a relationship. By reaching out to your grandmother, you did the best you could to fulfill your mother's wish -- which, from your description of your grandmother, was an unfair burden to try to place on you. There's no reason for you to court another round of rejection and, for your sake, I'm advising you not to.

It may help to write a letter to your mother, explaining to her what happened when you reached out to your grandmother and how it felt, then read it at her grave. But please, stop blaming yourself for your grandmother's inability to love.

DEAR ABBY: While going through pictures on my girlfriend's computer, I discovered that she had posed nude for a drawing by her artist daughter. For some reason, I am really bothered by her posing nude and doing it for her daughter. How can I bring this up, which will let her know that I was snooping on her computer? -- SAW WAY TOO MUCH IN KENTUCKY

DEAR SAW WAY TOO MUCH: Why would you be "really bothered" by a mother posing nude for her daughter who is an artist? Most mothers and daughters have seen each other in states of undress and there is nothing shocking about it.

My advice is to first figure out what you think is "wrong" with it, then admit that you snooped so you can talk it out. After that, she can determine if she wants to continue being involved with a man who is as nosy and prudish as you appear to be.

DEAR ABBY: I just read the letter from a fellow frustrated night shifter, "Working a 40-Hour Week at Age 73" (� HYPERLINK "http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20111220" ��Dec. 20�). I have worked 12-hour shifts for many years to accommodate our family life. It is easier for me to be home in the morning to get the kids to school and be home when they get off the bus in the afternoon. I have the early evening free to get them to their activities, then go to work later.

I thoroughly agree that the rest of the world does not understand! I've had the strangest requests from people because I'm home during the day. My solution has been to turn off our home phone and sleep with my cellphone on (in case one of the kids gets sick at school or some other dire emergency). This year I made a laminated sign for my front door, asking for peace and quiet. It says, "Please do not ring my doorbell. Night-shift worker sleeping at this time." -- SLEEPLESS IN WISCONSIN

DEAR SLEEPLESS: Thanks for your letter. Your fellow night shifters were in complete agreement with you. My newspaper readers comment:

DEAR ABBY: There's nothing unusual about "Working's" problem. I worked the graveyard shift for years at different jobs in different states, and it was exactly the same. In my case it was usually my mother, not my husband, who kept waking me up. Even worse, it wasn't unusual for bosses to call and wake me.

What surprised me was the number of people who think that sleep is optional rather than necessary. They seemed to think that they sleep at night because there's nothing else to do. -- LAURA IN POLLOK, TEXAS

DEAR ABBY: Many people don't understand night workers' schedules. Relatives would announce that they were coming to visit during my working weekends despite the fact that I'd specifically explained my schedule. My husband would snipe at me in underhanded ways. When I finally confronted him, he admitted that he "subconsciously" felt that someone sleeping during the day was lazy.

Working nights is tough. The Harvard Nurses' Health Study has discovered that night workers get less rest even if they get a good day's sleep, that we make less melatonin and we die younger. -- R.N. IN CONNECTICUT

DEAR ABBY: I sympathize with "Working." I also work a graveyard shift so I can be home with our newborn and not have to put him in day care eight hours a day. It's hard for people to understand that even though it's daytime for them, it's my night! I found myself running errands, marketing, etc., because I felt guilty being at home all day and "doing nothing." It took its toll on me until I got to the point where I could barely function.

I finally had to get over my issues about being home during the day and realize that I was putting in a 40-hour week just like anyone else. Since I didn't expect to do my chores at 3 a.m., I would no longer let anyone expect it of me. I still sleep in shifts to keep my son's time at day care to a minimum, but when I sleep, I don't let anyone interrupt. The world is going to have to wait until I get up.

Please tell "Working" not to let anyone make her feel guilty. Everyone needs sleep, and she shouldn't have to justify it to anyone. -- FELLOW 3RD SHIFTER IN INDIANAPOLIS

DEAR ABBY: I worked nights for years. My husband's friends thought they were being funny when they'd call me at 7 a.m. asking, "How's the 'bat' doing?" One night at 3 a.m. I called each one of them to ask how they were doing. After that, I never received an early call again.

My husband didn't respect me either. He wanted me to get up at 7 a.m. to watch our son so he could play golf. I finally divorced him. -- FULLY RESTED IN NEW MEXICO

DEAR ABBY: I'm 30 years old and have a close relationship with my mother, but something is bothering me. When I was a little girl, my grandmother gave me a U.S. savings bond for my birthday. It has matured to its full value. My mother refuses to give it to me. She said that my grandmother intended it as a wedding gift.

The last time I brought it up, she got teary and emotional. When my grandmother died 18 years ago, it was tremendously painful for my mother. I think the reason Mom won't give me the money is it makes her feel like her mom is still around. By letting go of the bond, she would be letting go of one more piece of my grandmother.

I also think it makes her sad to picture her mom not being there at my wedding. Despite all this, I can't help but feel she's using this to have some control over me.

I'm studying for my master's degree in special education, and some extra money would be helpful at the moment. I don't plan on marrying anyone anytime soon. I feel sad and angry. Does my mother have the right to withhold the bond and decide how and when I can use the money? Should I drop the issue and let her choose when to give it to me? Please help, I need your advice. -- 30-YEAR-OLD CHILD

DEAR "CHILD": Your grandmother gave you the savings bond as a birthday gift. When you became an adult, it should have been given to you then. You're a big girl now, and whether you decide to marry or not it should be yours to do with as you wish.

It's time to hand your mother a large box of tissues and have a heart-to-heart talk with her about that savings bond. Don't let her off the hook, and don't be surprised if she finally admits she spent the money.

DEAR ABBY: How does one let a gum chewer know, tactfully, that the smell is revolting? Besides the irritation and rudeness of chewing/popping with one's mouth open, certain smells often affect me physically.

From a young age, I have suffered from migraine headaches, which can bring on temporary loss of vision and vomiting. The scent of certain mints -- like spearmint -- triggers migraines. My doctor has warned me to avoid these triggers. However, in a confined area like an airplane, or sandwiched between two chewers at a concert, it's impossible. I become violently ill from the smell. I have tried politely explaining my situation, but the chewer is often indifferent, indignant or unsympathetic.

Abby, I'm at a loss. My husband and I often leave concerts we were looking forward to because of this problem. What can one do or say in a situation when sitting for hours in an assigned seat next to a gum chewer? -- HURTING IN VIRGINIA BEACH, VA.

DEAR HURTING: In a theater, the first thing you should do is explain the problem to the gum chewer just as you did to me. Say that the smell of certain mints triggers migraines that sometimes result in spontaneous vomiting, and ask if the person can dispose of the gum before you become ill. If the person refuses, ask an usher to seat you elsewhere.

When you're on an airplane and trapped in similar circumstances, get up and ask a flight attendant to locate a seat for you that's far enough away so you won't be affected. In most instances, you will be accommodated.

Your problem is not trivial. Sensitivity to certain scents can trigger serious physical reactions, including closure of a person's air passages.