DEAR ABBY: This letter is to offer sympathy to "Trish in Louisiana" (Sept. 25), who was seated next to two large passengers on a three-hour flight. It has happened to me.

The airlines control the size and weight of baggage, whether it's checked or carry-on, and charge when it's overweight. So why do they turn a blind eye when it comes to passengers who must endure being crowded out of the seats we have paid for? If airlines aren't willing to screen passengers for size, perhaps they should provide a few rows of larger seats to accommodate them.

Airlines have sacrificed comfort for economy to the point that the seats are simply too small. I'm an average-size woman, but I find the seats are barely large enough. They're crowded so close together you can't move your legs, and they don't actually recline. I agree with your advice to speak up if you find yourself being squeezed. -- ELLEN IN LAS CRUCES

DEAR ELLEN: While your letter reflects the views of many readers, they all emphatically agree that airlines need to do a better job of customer service regarding the seating on passenger planes. My newspaper readers comment:

DEAR ABBY: As America grows larger, airline seats grow smaller. Trish was right to be compassionate. If airlines treat large people (who are also paying customers) like dirt so they can turn a profit by squeezing passengers into every inch of space, they are wrong.

There are ways to be creative and not humiliate anyone. The flight attendant could have moved a child to her seat with Mom across the aisle.

I recommend that flight attendants think along those lines, because having a gate attendant drag people off flights is not the best way to handle this and should only be a last resort. We're all customers, and we all deserve to be treated with dignity. -- MARY IN VIRGINIA BEACH, VA.

DEAR ABBY: The fault lies with airline management. They should specify up front in their ad campaigns that if the passengers' dimensions exceed certain parameters, they must buy two tickets. -- COMFORTABLE ON THE GROUND

DEAR ABBY: My heart goes out to all three. I am a plus-size woman and my husband is "normal" size. His field is marketing, and I showed him your letter. He said recent surveys have shown that one-third of people who refuse to fly do so because of the tight seating, and not fear of an accident. Airlines pack people in like sardines to make more money, and it is resented.

I quit flying years ago because of claustrophobia. If I had to fly now, I'd buy a first-class ticket. I wonder why the planes don't have six or eight seats in the back of coach that are larger and cost more money, but less than first class.

Something has to be done to make flying safer and more comfortable for everyone. Surely we have the intellectual capacity to solve these problems. -- NO LONGER A FREQUENT FLIER IN NEW YORK

DEAR ABBY: It's unfortunate that Trish didn't stick to her guns and continue with her complaint. I believe airlines should head these problems off at the gate. They have a box to check the size of carry-on luggage; they should also have a passenger seat to check the size of people. If someone doesn't fit, then that person must buy an additional ticket for a second seat. -- REFUSES TO BE SQUISHED

DEAR ABBY: I have heard of interventions for drug and alcohol addicts. Could I stage one for my daughter "Aileen's" addiction to texting on her cellphone and Facebook?

She and our grandson live with us because her marriage broke up. I am becoming the boy's default mother because Aileen is constantly texting or spending hours on Facebook. She'll say, "I have to send a quick message," then reappear an hour later. By then, we have fed our grandson and changed his diaper.

When I try to discuss this with her, she says her work requires this constant communication, but I know it doesn't. There have been times when Aileen's feelings have been hurt because her son doesn't want to go someplace with her and prefers to stay with us instead. I suspect that he feels ignored when he's with her because her thumb is constantly flying across her phone. How can we get her to understand how this might be making her child feel? -- FULLY PRESENT IN ARIZONA

DEAR FULLY PRESENT: You could and should stage an intervention with your daughter. Aileen is neglecting her son. It's a shame that before couples are allowed to conceive that they aren't forced to take parenting classes. The time she spends on Facebook and texting is time she should be interacting with him.

Because she is so easily distracted, you and her father should declare your home to be a digital-free zone unless your grandson is napping or in bed for the night. Consider making discussions with the boy's pediatrician -- and perhaps parenting classes -- a condition of her staying in your home. She won't like it, but it would be in your grandson's best interests.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a male in my 60s who has been active all my life and still try to be. However, I'm not dealing with the aging process very well. I have just been told that I'm going to lose my eyesight.

I have never been sick or hospitalized, no broken bones, no operations, ate right and consider myself in great health. But now I find myself taking naps a lot and not wanting to socialize very much. I have to force myself to do things.

I have always said one of these days it's going to start raining on me, and then it will be over. I don't like this attitude and I'm a great believer in faith. Any suggestions? -- MALE READER IN THE U.S.A.

DEAR MALE READER: I wish you had included your address and phone number because I would have contacted you personally. The first thing to do is get a second opinion regarding your vision loss. If the diagnosis is confirmed, there are devices available that can help some sight-impaired people. There are also programs to help you adjust to your vision loss and live an independent and full life. But you should start now.

Some of the symptoms you describe could be signs of depression. Please consult your physician about them. With counseling and medication, the "rain" in your life could be reduced to a drizzle you can handle. And hang onto your faith because it will serve you well.

DEAR ABBY: My husband brought me roses the day our divorce was final. We had been married almost 30 years. When I asked him why, he said, "Aren't you happy? Isn't this what you wanted?" HE was the one who initiated the divorce. What kind of man would do this? -- STUMPED IN FLORIDA

DEAR STUMPED: Someone who is angry or sadistic, or one who got his wires seriously crossed.

DEAR ABBY: Every year across the United States and around the world, families must deal with the holiday season after the unthinkable has happened -- the death of a precious child.

In response to the need for grieving families to have one special day during the difficult holidays to remember, honor and reflect on the lives of these children who have died -- at any age and from any cause -- The Compassionate Friends, a national self-help support organization for families grieving the death of a child, created the Worldwide Candle Lighting. It is held the second Sunday of each December and is now in its 15th year. The event officially takes place at 7 p.m. local time for one hour and continues to grow larger every year.

The Compassionate Friends invites your readers to attend a service Dec. 11, to honor the lives of these children, or to light a remembrance candle at 7 p.m., wherever they may be, whether alone or with friends and family. They are also invited to visit The Compassionate Friends national website on the day of the Worldwide Candle Lighting and post a remembrance message in our online memory book. We do this so that their light may always shine, Abby. Thank you for spreading the message. -- PATRICIA LODER, EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR, THE COMPASSIONATE FRIENDS/USA

DEAR PATRICIA: You're welcome. The holidays are an emotionally loaded time of year for many people. For families suffering from the loss of a child, it can be even more so. Thank you for the support you offer them.

Readers, on Dec. 11, services open to the public will be held throughout the day in hundreds of locations across the U.S., as well as in about two dozen countries around the world.

Services will be held by many of the Compassionate Friends' 630 U.S. chapters, as well as allied organizations, community groups, churches and houses of worship, funeral homes, children's memorial gardens, hospices, schools, cemeteries -- even community centers. To locate the nearest service and find out more information, you should visit www.compassionatefriends.org or call 877-969-0010.

DEAR ABBY: I moved out of my parents' house and have been working full time and supporting myself for three years. I love my life as a young adult.

This past year, my younger sister "Nicole" has been saying she wants to move in with me so she can get out of our parents' house and be closer to me. She earns twice as much as I do, and can easily afford her own place. I have not encouraged her because I enjoy living by myself.

Nicole and our parents are now accusing me of being a terrible sister and friend to her. She has been depressed, gone into therapy and has been cutting herself. I want to support my sister in any way I can, but I don't think her living with me will be the solution to her many problems. I don't want to cause a rift in the family, but I also don't want to be guilted into letting her move in. What should I do? -- ON MY OWN IN DENVER

DEAR ON YOUR OWN: Because your sister's depression is so severe that she's cutting herself, you are right in thinking her living with you won't be the solution to her problems. That she realizes she needs professional help and is getting it is a step in the right direction. You should not have your sister move in until and unless you have discussed it with her and her therapist and are satisfied it will be beneficial for both of you.