DEAR ABBY: I married "Raymond" in 2004. I met his son, "Bill," a year before the wedding and have been in a relationship with him ever since. (He's married to one of my friends and has a child with her.)
Raymond supports me financially and provides all the necessities -- house, car, food, clothes, etc. -- without my having to work. But Bill supports me emotionally, and there's more of a "connection."
I have learned that marriages dissolve for one of two reasons: money or sex. The money is there, but Raymond and I haven't been romantic in more than a year.
Am I walking into a ring of fire by keeping the relationship with Bill? Ray says he loves me and cares about me, but only when I ask how he feels about me. With Bill, I don't have to ask -- he says it. -- IN A QUANDARY
DEAR IN A QUANDARY: May I mention a third reason that marriages break up? It's when one spouse discovers that the other has been cheating. If your marriage to Raymond, who has endowed you with all the worldly goods he can, is of any importance to you, tell him that although you're living in style, all of your needs are not being met. Give him a chance to fulfill the rest of them. It doesn't take a clairvoyant to predict that if you don't value what you've got, you will lose it.