DEAR ABBY: My fiance and I plan to be married in the coming year. It will be the second marriage for both of us. My intended has an "adult" son I'll call "Jeff," who graduated from college last year and makes good money. His father has helped him out by paying his tuition, car loan, rent, a generous allowance and various other loans that have never been repaid.
Jeff comes up short almost every month because he blows his money on vacations, clothing, electronic gadgets, etc., so he needs $500 to $1,000 to "get on his feet." If his father refuses, Jeff resorts to name-calling and emotional blackmail.
I earn a good living and have a tidy nest egg, and I'm concerned that Jeff's irresponsibility and his father's enabling will put a comfortable retirement for us in jeopardy. I feel like this is my business, too -- but I don't want to come between father and son. What's your advice? -- THRIFTY IN WYOMING
DEAR THRIFTY: Your concerns are legitimate. Your fiance is doing his son no favors by footing the bills for his irresponsible behavior. But on some level he already knows that and may be doing it because he feels guilty about the divorce from Jeff's mother.
Before marrying your fiance, discuss this with an attorney to be sure your interests will be protected. The assets you accumulated before the marriage should be kept separate, and there should be a clear understanding that any monies you earn will not benefit his son, who appears to be a bottomless pit.