DEAR ABBY: I'm a freshman in college and have the sweetest boyfriend in the world. We've always been close and trusted each other, never pushing the other too far. I always thought it was innocent and safe.
Last weekend, though, things got a little heavy between us. We stopped before anything happened, but I felt dirty afterward. As I thought about it, I realized that, to me, it had seemed OK that our relationship was starting to take a more intimate turn.
Is it wrong for me to think this way? I don't know how to bring up the "sex talk" with him without seeming desperate or like I'm rushing things. What should I do? -- NEEDS TO KNOW IN VIRGINIA
DEAR NEEDS TO KNOW: You and your boyfriend are normal, healthy young adults. If this is the first time you and a young man have gotten "a little heavy," then it's not surprising that you felt conflicted, depending upon how you were raised to think about premarital relations.
However, because you have now progressed to the point of physical intimacy, it is important that you and your boyfriend talk about last weekend and what may happen in the future. Share your feelings and ask how he feels about what happened and what he would like to happen going forward. That's not desperate or rushing things -- that is communication. True intimacy involves the mutual sharing of thoughts and feelings in a relationship.