DEAR ABBY: Twenty-four years ago, the International Association of Fire Chiefs (IAFC) and Energizer spotted a disturbing trend. Many fatalities were taking place in homes without working smoke alarms. In response, the "Change Your Clock Change Your Battery" campaign was developed to remind people to test and change their smoke alarm batteries each fall when they turn back their clocks at the end of daylight saving time.

According to the National Fire Protection Association, while 96 percent of American homes have at least one smoke alarm, 19 percent do not have at least one that works! The reason? Missing or dead batteries.

Please remind your readers that when they set their clocks back on Nov. 6, to use the extra hour they gain to change and test the batteries in their smoke alarms and carbon monoxide detectors.

It is recommended that smoke alarms be replaced every 10 years and be a mix of both ionization and photoelectric alarms to warn against all types of fires. They are the best defense against the devastating effects of a home fire.

Thank you, Abby, for once again joining me in spreading this lifesaving message. -- CHIEF AL GILLESPIE, IAFC PRESIDENT

DEAR AL: Just call me Old Faithful -- I'm glad to help.

Readers, this year the IAFC is encouraging families -- especially moms who understand what it means to be a family's first responder when it comes to family emergencies -- to visit www.facebook.com/energizerbunny and take the pledge to change the batteries in your smoke alarms when changing your clocks.

No one should be hurt or lose a life because of a non-working smoke alarm, yet nearly 3,000 people die each year in home fires. A working smoke alarm will provide extra precious seconds for you and your family to get out safely.

DEAR ABBY: Because I love the out-of-doors, I volunteered to prepare my boyfriend's duck boat for the hunting season. I sanded, primed and detailed the boat and painted cattails on the sides. I bought seats, hardware, even made a full camouflage duck blind on my sewing machine.

My boyfriend is elated and even more excited that I intend to hunt with him. His buddy is not. He has backed out of the hunting trips and refuses to talk to me about the issue.

Should I tell my boyfriend I have changed my mind and save their friendship, or go with him and reward myself for all my hard work? -- AMBUSHED IN MINNESOTA

DEAR AMBUSHED: Do not back out. The person your boyfriend's buddy should be talking to isn't you, it's your boyfriend. His behavior is selfish and childish. A compromise might be in order, but it won't happen unless "the boys" arrange it between themselves. So stay out of the line of fire.

DEAR ABBY: There are people in my life who do not bring me joy -- just drama and petty backstabbing. How do I tactfully remove myself from an individual or group of people? I run into them all the time at business events and restaurants in our small city. -- AT ARM'S LENGTH IN IOWA

DEAR AT ARM'S LENGTH: Unless you're planning on moving to a cave in the Himalayas, there is no way you can completely avoid them. When you see them be friendly, speak in generalities, give them as little information as possible and move on when they start to gossip. It works like a charm.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 38-year-old mom and have been single for the last 10 years. I live alone with my 11-year-old daughter and support us without assistance. I work full-time and rely on my mother to take my daughter to school and pick her up while I'm at work.

Because of this, anytime I try to have any kind of relationship with a man, my mother turns against me. She acts like I no longer exist as long as I try to have a love life. Please give me some advice on what to do. -- MISSING SOMETHING IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR MISSING SOMETHING: I'll try. It is time to become less emotionally dependent on your mother. At age 38, you do not need her blessing to date, and you should make that fact clear to her. If she punishes you for expecting to be treated like the adult you are, then arrange other transportation for your daughter. As long as you allow her to run your life, you will not have a life of your own.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter and I had a little disagreement the other night when I entered a restaurant holding my seven-day pill container in my hand. (I had decided to leave my bulky purse in the car.) When we sat down, I placed the container on the table next to my place setting. Doing this helps me to remember to take the pills with my meal.

My daughter said it was "tacky" to show my pills and container. I feel it wasn't tacky at all, but my way of taking care of my health. After going back and forth on this subject, I told her I would get your opinion. My husband took my daughter's side. -- LOOKING OUT FOR MY HEALTH IN ESCONDIDO, CALIF.

DEAR LOOKING: Allow me to even up the odds by taking your side. Certain medications must be taken with food, and if bringing the pill container with you ensured that you wouldn't forget to take your dose in a timely manner, then more power to you. That your daughter and your husband would criticize your manners in a case like this troubles me more than any "breach of etiquette" that might have occurred. And, by the way, what you did wasn't one.

DEAR ABBY: You sometimes publish letters regarding random acts of kindness. I know people like to share how blessed they are that others have given to them. Well, I would like to share how being the giver is a blessing as well.

My children and I eat lunch out on Saturdays. Most recently, we went to one of our favorite restaurants. As we were being seated, I noticed an elderly gentleman eating alone. He read the paper, ate his meal and kept to himself. I was struck by how alone he seemed to be. All during the lunch, I couldn't shake the feeling that I should reach out.

Finally, I gave in. I went to the counter and paid for his meal.

When the waitress brought our check to the table, she asked if we knew the man. I responded no, that we just wanted to do something nice. She then confided to me that he was a regular there, but she hadn't seen him lately because he had just lost his wife.

Abby, I was so glad I had followed my heart and reached out. I can only pray that he was as pleased by my anonymous gift as I was to give it. -- RECEIVING BY GIVING IN ILLINOIS

DEAR RECEIVING BY GIVING: I'm sure he was. Your letter illustrates the pleasure that comes when we follow the dictates of our hearts. I applaud your generous gesture.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby -- Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I had to respond to the letter from "Discordant Family" (Sept. 1). I agree with you that the children should not be forced to play piano. However, let me offer an alternative. Many young pianists quit because practicing is such a solitary chore. I'd recommend finding the kids a community music program they would enjoy.

Perhaps their friends are involved with a chamber or duet group, or a music camp. Set the completion of the group project as a goal and allow them to move on (if they still want to) once they've reached that goal rather than quit on the spot.

I, too, wanted to quit piano lessons at 13, but my mother insisted I persist until age 16. Then I joined my high school's theater program as its pianist. Being part of community music-making is standard for most musicians, but it's rare for young pianists. There is an added social element. They develop other skills, and the emphasis on practice and perfection is greatly reduced when the focus shifts to working well in a group.

Since "Discordant" is so set on music for her kids, I hope she'll consider this option, but also identify the aspects of piano playing her kids dislike and attempt to reduce or remove them. Switching from classical to pop music or starting a band with their friends are other possibilities.

I'm 26 now and have made a career as a collaborative pianist for musical theater, operas, choirs and soloist accompaniment. It's given me an opportunity to travel, meet Broadway actors, play in rock bands, learn language skills -- and more! -- HAPPY PIANIST IN AUSTIN

DEAR PIANIST: Thank you for your helpful suggestions. Forcing children to do something they hate seems, to me, counterproductive when there are so many constructive, creative things they could be doing. My newspaper readers comment:

DEAR ABBY: Each child is unique and needs individual consideration. Because the l3-year-old wants to stop playing the piano is no reason for the 11- and 5-year-old to quit, too. How about talking it over with the piano teacher? Maybe it's time for a new approach. The teen could learn to play jazz piano or perhaps switch to a different instrument, such as the guitar. Making music part of life is a joy when it is approached in the right spirit. -- PIANO TEACHER WHO HAS SEEN AND HEARD IT ALL

DEAR ABBY: I took lessons from three teachers before I found one who inspired me and gave me music I wanted to play. My son and daughter also took lessons from him. I played piano professionally in the '60s and '70s, and my son has followed in that path. I believe it is all in finding the right teacher. What a difference it makes. -- JANET IN ST. LOUIS

DEAR ABBY: "Discordant" said she has never met anyone who was glad about having stopped piano lessons. Well, one of the happiest days of my life was when I quit. I read music and hit the keys in order, but I have no sense of timing. Practice did not make perfect, and I was prevented from applying myself to areas for which I was better suited. -- FREED FROM THE TORTURE

DEAR ABBY: The problem that mom is having is in giving her kids wiggle room. Middle-school-aged children should not be allowed to make a decision about something so important based on how they "feel." I sweetened the offer for my daughter by allowing her to practice in lieu of doing some household chores. It worked like a charm. Now, at 21, she loves music, plays when she can and intends to return to it after college. -- STAND FIRM! IN MONTANA

DEAR ABBY: I was forced to take piano lessons. At age 13, I begged to quit. My parents made a compromise. Lessons only during the school year, summers off. After a poor start, I began to enjoy the lessons, ended up studying piano for 18 years and turned pro. -- PEGGY IN LAS VEGAS

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)