DEAR ABBY: My younger sister is getting married next month and has requested that no kids be brought to the reception. My "kids" are teenagers and I feel that at least children of the immediate family should be allowed to attend. Incidentally, Sis and her fiance have a little girl and boy who will serve as a flower girl and ring bearer. The children will participate in the wedding party introductions, then will be carted off.
Finally, she wants my 15-year-old to baby-sit the young cousins. Because we don't think it's right, we have decided that we will attend the wedding ceremony but not the reception. It is not my intention not to share her moment, but I'm afraid my teenagers won't understand why they can't celebrate their aunt's special day. Am I making too much of this? -- RSVP UNDECIDED IN NORTH CAROLINA
DEAR UNDECIDED: Your sister's reason for excluding "children" could be budgetary -- or fear that young children could be disruptive. By saying "no children" she is trying to be fair to all the parents. However, if she wants your daughter to baby-sit, she should make the arrangements with your daughter -- including offering to pay her for her time -- especially if there will be more children than the flower girl and ring bearer in her care.