DEAR ABBY: I have a dear friend, "Angie," who lost her father to suicide several years ago. Whenever life throws her a curveball, she talks about "ending it all." This bothers me tremendously because I went through the heartache and distress with her when her father took his life.

Angie has a loving family -- mother, sister, beautiful children and a boyfriend. I, on the other hand, am completely alone, yet I muddle along without threatening suicide at every bump in life.

How can I get my friend to stop and realize how lucky she is to have such a wonderful support system when there are those of us who have no one -- yet we find the strength to carry on? -- NOT GIVING UP IN LAS VEGAS

DEAR NOT GIVING UP: You can't, although I'm sure you have tried. You have inner resources that it appears Angie does not. However, if a friend of mine whose relative had committed suicide told me repeatedly that she was considering doing the same, I would report it to her family and urge them to see that she got professional help. That's what you should do, in case depression and suicidal impulses run in her family, as is sometimes the case.

DEAR ABBY: I appreciate frugality, especially now that we all have to watch our spending. However, my neighbor is incredibly frugal. She often asks if she can "borrow" something instead of buying whatever it is she needs.

Her latest request was for socks -- yes, socks! -- for her daughter's dance recital. I put socks in the same category as underwear, something a little too personal to be lending out. Before that, it was leggings, a CD -- the list goes on and on. She always returns the items, but enough is enough!

I work, she doesn't. I feel as though I'm expected to provide for them because I have a job. I don't know if I should say anything to her about her constant borrowing or simply say "no" to all future requests, which, of course, there will be. Please share your thoughts. -- WHAT NEXT?

DEAR WHAT NEXT?: If your neighbor isn't working because she chooses not to, then say no. If she's not working because she hasn't been able to find a job -- a circumstance in which millions of people in this country find themselves -- then treat her as you would want to be treated if you were in her shoes.

DEAR ABBY: My father, who is happily married to his third wife, recently came across some photos of his first wedding to my mother in 1961. Apparently, the walk down memory lane didn't stop there for him. He asked his wife, who evidently agreed, if he could have a party to celebrate the 50th anniversary of this event.

I am appalled and kind of nauseated by the thought. Do you think I'm overreacting? I have considered refusing the invitation. Should I just suck it up, or tell my father I think the idea is narcissistic, insensitive and foolish? -- SICK TO MY STOMACH

DEAR SICK TO MY STOMACH: Your question is a first. Why your father would consider throwing a golden anniversary party to celebrate a marriage that turned to lead and "sank" is mystifying. Equally so is his current wife's willingness to go along with it.

While you and I might consider his idea to be ill-conceived, resist the urge to indulge in name-calling. Let him hear from others that the idea is narcissistic, insensitive and foolish. And, by the way, you are not obligated to accept every invitation you receive.

DEAR ABBY: My son, "Beau," married "Patsy" four years ago. She left him after two years and moved out of state. There are no legal separation papers, no child support, and my grandson lives with his daddy.

Beau has a mistress now and tells people they're "engaged." "Luci's" family refers to my son as her fiance and she's considered Mommy to my grandson. When I corrected those titles at a recent family function, it caused friction.

In my opinion, they can't be engaged until Beau is first divorced. To me, marriage is important; it matters. I am disturbed by my son's refusal to end his marriage. I feel it is unfair to Luci, who just had his second child. Beau claims Patsy left him, so she should file for the divorce.

Please understand that Luci and I have become close. She's thoughtful, intelligent, well-spoken, and a wonderful mother to both my grandchildren. I just feel Beau should finish his first marriage. This is not the type of man I meant to raise, and that this is the person he has become shames me to my soul.

Am I out of step with society? Am I the only one who finds this setup unfair to Luci and insulting to me, the mother who tried to raise him to be a better man than this? I have talked to a counselor, Abby, and it's killing me. -- DISRESPECTED MOTHER IN TEXAS

DEAR MOM: You're not out of step, and you are correct that the current arrangement is unfair to Luci. If your son should die tomorrow (heaven forbid), Patsy would be a merry widow with all his assets, and Luci would be left with fond memories and a baby to raise by herself. Period.

Not knowing Beau, I can't know his reasons for not divorcing the woman who left him and ensuring that Luci and the children are taken care of. But I am sure of this: His reasons are not solely that he thinks his wife should be the one to file.

Raising a child well does not guarantee he (or she) will turn out to be a carbon copy of his or her parent. So for your own sake, please stop personalizing this.

DEAR ABBY: I was out to lunch with my son, his new wife, "Taylor," and her family. My son asked, "Mom, do you want something else to eat?" Naturally, I thought he was speaking to me, so I answered. I was crushed when he said, "No, I was talking to 'Sally'" (Taylor's mother)!

I feel it's wrong for my son to call someone else Mom, and furthermore, Sally should have said something, but she didn't. Taylor and I are close, but she would never call me Mom, especially in front of her own mother. Am I being silly? Or should I let this go? -- HIS ONLY MOM

DEAR ONLY MOM: Let it go. Your son was probably calling Taylor's mother "Mom" because he had been asked to do so. ("'Sonny,' we're family now. Please call me 'Mom.'") It would not, however, be confrontational to tell your son that hearing him do it was hard to swallow.

DEAR WEARING THIN: Try this. The next time she does it, say: "Let's not take the office with us. Let's enjoy our break and use the time to talk about other things." Say it with a smile, then change the subject.

DEAR ABBY: My mother's family has never been close-knit, but what they did to her was despicable. My grandmother died recently, and not one person in the family called Mom to notify her. We saw it in our local paper.

No funeral details were mentioned, so we called the mortuary repeatedly only to be told arrangements were "still pending." Mother tried to contact her sister, but got no response. She called her brother four times. He told her the same thing -- the arrangements were pending.

Two days later, Mom heard from another relative that her mother had been buried in a private ceremony with only immediate family. Mother called her brother again, and was told it wasn't true -- the arrangements were still pending.

The next day, Mom and I went to the cemetery to see if the rumor was true. Imagine our sadness when we found my grandmother's grave. Mom was heartbroken that she wasn't able to pay her respects to her own mother.

We went to my uncle to break the news to him, thinking he didn't know, and were shocked when he admitted he had known all along about the arrangements, but that Mother's older sister had instructed him to share no information with Mother. He said his "hands were tied" because she made him promise not to divulge any details to us.

Abby, please tell your readers that no matter how dysfunctional family ties may be, everyone should be able to pay last respects to their own parent. And funeral homes should have the decency to tell callers that funeral arrangements are private rather than lying about it. -- BRENDA IN TEXAS

DEAR BRENDA: My deepest sympathy to you and your mother for your loss. Regardless of what caused the falling out with her siblings, their behavior was brutal and allowed her no closure. They have made it plain that she should keep her distance, and for her own sake I hope she will. It is obvious who "runs" that family, and further contact will cause your mother only more pain and frustration. Sometimes people have to build their own family, and that's what I recommend you do.

DEAR ABBY: At 78, my dad has given up on life. After a bout with cancer in his 50s, he has gone downhill with severe depression, sleep apnea, heart issues, etc. Dad sleeps about 20 hours a day, and refuses to do anything to improve his quality of life.

My mom is a vibrant woman of 70 who enjoys excellent health. She has many years ahead of her, but her quality of life has diminished because of my father. We encourage her to find some kind of life outside the home through friends, women's groups, church groups, etc., but she's reluctant to leave Dad. She's a youthful person who is, basically, living with a corpse.

I love my father, but his refusal to do anything to make his life better (treat his sleep apnea, get some exercise, take his meds properly) makes me realize he won't change. I hate that two lives are being destroyed because of Dad's choices. How can I make Mom see her life could be better? -- TROUBLED SON IN ILLINOIS

DEAR TROUBLED SON: You and your mom should schedule an appointment with your father's physician to discuss everything you have disclosed to me. His doctor needs to know he sleeps 20 hours a day and isn't compliant in taking his meds. And you need to find out whether your father's condition is improvable at this point, because you may be judging him too harshly.

While your mother's life might improve if she got out more, it's possible that if she took the time away from your dad she would feel too guilty to get the most out of it. If there are family members or friends who would stay with him while she went out, she might be more receptive. Remember, you can always suggest, but don't push.