DEAR ABBY: I read the letter from "On My Own in Bloomington, Ind." (Aug. 5), who needed a ride to her colonoscopy appointment but didn't have transportation. Your suggestions were admirable, but there is another service you should be aware of.

Many states have a 2-1-1 Information and Referral Service, often sponsored by the local United Way. It has trained information and referral specialists available 24 hours a day, seven days a week to listen to individuals' needs or questions, help callers make informed decisions, and link them to a variety of community resources that fit their needs.

Those needs could be anything from a volunteer driver for a medical appointment to help caring for an aging relative, consumer help, child-care services, finding a local food shelf, domestic abuse shelter or chemical dependency treatment. When you don't know whom to call, call 2-1-1. It is available to help you find answers confidentially. -- LYNETTA IN DULUTH, MINN.

DEAR LYNETTA: My readers never cease to amaze me. You always come through with all kinds of suggestions for any situation, as you did again. Thanks to all of you. I'm sure the information will be appreciated. My newspaper readers' comments:

DEAR ABBY: I have a few suggestions for "On My Own." She should contact a social worker at the hospital where her doctor works. As you pointed out, many people have this problem, and I bet the social worker will have some solutions.

Second, there is probably a nursing school nearby. She should contact the dean of students to find out whether a nursing student would be available and would like to earn some extra money in this useful way. -- JACQUELINE, R.N., NEW YORK

DEAR ABBY: This is one of the many jobs home-health care aides are hired and trained for. My mother has worked for an agency and has accompanied many clients -- seniors and younger people -- on doctor and hospital visits. Many businesses that advertise "senior care" also provide services to non-seniors with disabilities, temporary health issues, and people who just need a "friend" for a few hours.

There are also volunteer organizations that provide similar services, although some may not have training or appropriate insurance or be bonded by the organization, as many home-health care businesses do. -- ALEXANDRA IN PITTSBURGH

DEAR ABBY: Many senior centers offer this service for medical appointments and procedures. The drivers are covered by insurance and are trained on customer service techniques. My husband has taken many people for this procedure. He typically leaves his number with the medical staff, who call him when the patient is ready to be picked up. Rarely do patients need someone at home with them afterward as long as they stay quiet. -- HAPPY TO HELP IN IRVINE, CALIF.

DEAR ABBY: One solution to the problem of not having family/friends available to accompany a single person for a colonoscopy is to trade time. I'll go with you for yours, and you go with me for mine. -- RICK IN WISCONSIN

DEAR ABBY: There are non-medical in-home care providers in many cities such as Seniors Helping Seniors that can provide the transportation and companionship that is needed. Check the phone book under Home Health Care and Services or Senior Citizens Organizations, or search the Web for non-medical in-home care. -- EILEEN IN LAKE HAVASU CITY, ARIZ.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I were on vacation out of state with our four young children, staying at a large resort that offered a free buffet breakfast. While my husband tended to the children's beverages and eating utensils, I stood in line to make waffles for everyone. (There were three waffle irons available.)

As I made four waffles for the six of us -- as others were doing for their families -- a woman began berating me and another man for "monopolizing" the waffle irons. She said we should make only one waffle at a time and then get back in line. She went on to insult our kids by saying that by feeding our kids whole waffles for breakfast, we are responsible for the epidemic of childhood obesity in this country.

Was I being rude? Is there a rule of etiquette regarding waffle-making in a buffet? We like to sit down as a family and enjoy our meal together. -- WAFFLING IN THE SOUTH

DEAR WAFFLING: As far as I know, you broke no rule of etiquette. What you encountered was a hungry woman who was taking her impatience out on you. She is lucky you didn't hand her an egg and tell her to go suck on it.

DEAR ABBY: Two weeks before our youngest child's wedding, my husband of more than 40 years suddenly became obsessed with worry that I was unfaithful. It was unfounded and nearly ruined the wedding for both of us. This continued for two weeks after the wedding, until he finally vowed to "let it go."

My husband is now bending over backward to make it up to me. He is as thoughtful and passionate as if we were on our honeymoon again. While I'm enjoying the attention, I can't help but wonder if he is the guilty one. What do you think? -- TURNING THE TABLES IN ILLINOIS

DEAR TURNING THE TABLES: What I think isn't nearly as important as what you think. If you think he has been unfaithful, you may be right. The question now is, what do you intend to do about it? If you no longer trust your husband, then marriage counseling would be appropriate.

DEAR ABBY: I lost my wife and only child three years ago in a car accident. I felt my life ended that day, but I've managed to put the pieces back together thanks to the support of my family and friends. Now I'm at the point where I think I'm strong enough to start dating again.

When do I tell my date what happened? I don't want to scare her away with my story. It's a big part of who I am, but it's not all I am. First dates are about getting to know someone and it's hard not to share this, but I'm uncomfortable sharing right away. Do you have any advice? -- TENTATIVE IN MINNESOTA

DEAR TENTATIVE: I see no reason why you should disclose all the details of what happened to your wife and child on a first or second date. If the subject of your marital status is raised, it's perfectly all right to say that you are a widower, that the subject is a painful one, and you will share more details when you know the person better. It would be insensitive for anyone to press you for more information after hearing a statement like that.

DEAR ABBY: My mother watches my two children before and after school and during the breaks. She is a caring person, but she is also very critical of my daughter. (She's fine with my son.)

Mom constantly tells my daughter she needs to lose weight or exercise more, or her hair looks stringy, or she isn't dressed properly. My daughter is only 9.

My mother did this to me when I was younger, and it made me feel I could never live up to her standards. How should I approach her about this? I don't want my daughter to feel inadequate. She's a beautiful, intelligent little girl. -- FRUSTRATED IN MISSOURI

DEAR FRUSTRATED: Deal with this firmly, before your mother erodes your daughter's self-esteem as she did yours. Tell her how her constant criticism made you feel, that you don't want the same thing to happen to your little girl, and that anytime she's tempted to make a negative comment, she should substitute a positive one instead. Be direct with her, and if she isn't able to comply, make other arrangements for your daughter.

DEAR ABBY: My siblings have noticed my distant, odd behavior toward one of my brothers. This sibling and I have a history of incest. He raped me repeatedly for years, and I want nothing to do with him. When the family gathers, one or the other of us declines the invitation if the other one is going to be present.

I have told one sibling, "We just don't get along -- old stuff, ya' know!" and left it at that. I want to keep the reason to myself. I feel I may be pushed for a better answer. Shouldn't "old stuff" be enough of a reason? Should I tell or not? -- SHOULD I OR SHOULDN'T I?

DEAR SHOULD I?: A person who repeatedly rapes someone "for years" is a predator. This wasn't two kids "experimenting"; it was sexual assault. How do you know he didn't prey on other siblings or cousins? You should have sought counseling about this years ago, and it's still not too late. Once you do, I'm sure you'll find the strength to stand up for yourself and speak out.

DEAR ABBY: Seven years ago, when I was 25, I quit a good job before I had a new one. Hard times ultimately led to my husband and me divorcing. I went back to school and am now starting a new career. But I can't help but feel that if I had not quit my job years back, I'd be established in a career by now and still be married.

I never listened to anyone back then, although I was polite and quiet. I have grown from the experience, but my heart aches for what I lost. I don't drink or do drugs, so there is no numbing this pain. How do I get over my regrets and heal? -- LOOKING BACK IN ILLINOIS

DEAR LOOKING BACK: You can't change the past. You can only concentrate on and build a future. Do that by making a conscious effort to stay in the present.

When you feel yourself slipping backward and reliving the pain, pull yourself into the here and now. Then thank your higher power for your health, your job, and the chance to rebuild your emotional and financial future. Regret is the cancer of life. Dwell on it, and it will keep you from progressing.