DEAR ABBY: Before I met my boyfriend, "Cory," he had a married female friend he'd go out with -- dancing, dinner, movies, etc. He says there was no sex involved, and I believe him. He has asked me to be friends with her and her husband, and I have tried.
However, whenever she's around Cory, they ignore everyone else. She even tried to go on vacation with us! What really upset me was when Cory thought it was OK to ask if "we" could go out with her! It's like she has always been in our relationship.
I have told him they are (and have been) having a non-sexual affair. He's a wonderful man otherwise, and I know he loves me. How can I get her out of our lives? -- FEELING LIKE A THIRD WHEEL
DEAR FEELING: It would be interesting to know what this female friend's husband thinks about her relationship with your boyfriend. Dinner, dancing, movies -- possible shared vacations -- seems like an unusual amount of "togetherness." Talk to her husband, and you may gain some insight.
As to how you can get her out of your lives, the answer is you probably can't. Unless your boyfriend is willing to accept that their relationship is a threat to the one he has with you and is willing to let it go, she will be in his life -- and yours -- for a long, long time.