DEAR ABBY: I'm going through a divorce and have decided not to begin dating until it's final. I'm doing this because I wouldn't be comfortable dating someone who is still married. I told myself I would politely explain this to any gentleman who asks me out, but no one has -- and I'm a little bothered by it. No one approaches me at all. I don't wear my ring and I consider myself to be a very attractive person.
I have had several boyfriends throughout my life, and looking back at them and my marriage, I realize that I was the first to show an interest and ask them out. I'd like it if a guy approached me and made the first move. I'm worried that when I'm ready to date it won't happen. I understand that approaching a stranger is a little unnerving, but I'm beginning to take it personally.
Please don't suggest going to activities outside the home to meet people. I work and go to school full-time, so that's not an option anytime soon. -- LOOKING FOR A DATE --IN THE FUTURE
DEAR LOOKING (BUT NOT LOOKING): If you're asking me how to get a man to ask you out so you can tell him, "No, I'm not ready," I'm sorry but I can't help you. I don't know the circumstances of your divorce, but if they were hurtful, it is not uncommon for the injured party to "become invisible" until he or she heals enough to once again send out "available and interested" vibes. You say you're not quite there yet, which may be why you're not attracting any interest.
While your schedule is so full -- unless you meet someone at school or through your job -- your love life may have to stay on hold until you can squeeze it in.