DEAR ABBY: My new doctor has told me I'm considered morbidly obese. We discussed the yo-yoing weight problems I have had since I was a child, and she said I'd be a good candidate for gastric bypass surgery.
My husband is super-supportive of the idea and so is the rest of my family. My mother even suggested I encourage my sister -- who is even heavier than I am -- to research it. But when I mentioned it to my mother-in-law, "Evelyn," she was not thrilled.
Evelyn is the only other overweight person in the immediate family here in Maryland. I suspect that she doesn't want to be the only heavy person in the family if I have the surgery. Her husband wants to be active and do things. He does them with my husband and me because Evelyn can't. I know this upsets her.
How can I tell her that at 28, I want to do something about my weight problem now in order to live a long, healthy life? I don't want to end up like her when I'm older -- bitter about my slimmer, healthier, more active husband doing things without me. -- DYING TO BE HEALTHY
DEAR DYING: This isn't about Evelyn. It is only about you and the fact that your doctor has recommended you consider this medical procedure. If Evelyn raises the subject, remind her that this is the case. And of course, omit any reference to the idea that she might be "bitter," or that her slimmer, healthier husband is doing things without her, because it will only make her more defensive.