DEAR ABBY: A young bride-to-be who signed her letter "Touchy Decision in Ohio" (June 18) prefers her stepdad walk her down the aisle at her wedding, but is worried about what her biological father (whom she sees once or twice a year) and other relatives might think.

In my many decades on this earth, especially during the last 10 or 15 years, I have seen all sorts of changes in wedding etiquette, including the customs governing who walks down the aisle. In addition to fathers escorting daughters, I've seen brothers escort sisters and children walk their mother to the altar. In "Ohio's" case, the logical solution, and the more appropriate one, to me, would be to have both gentlemen escort her down the aisle, one on either side. What could be lovelier?

The bride-to-be should consider that the hurt feelings that often crop up on sensitive occasions such as this, if not attended to beforehand, can tarnish the memory of the event in the minds of loved ones forever. -- BARB H. IN SPRINGFIELD, MASS.

DEAR BARB: Thank you for your response. Opinions regarding "Ohio's" letter are numerous and varied. A majority of those I heard from agree with your suggestion that both dads share the task. However, others viewed it differently. My newspaper readers' comment:

DEAR ABBY: If the biological father wanted to be a part of his daughter's life he should have made more of an effort to be there for her. The stepdad no doubt put up with all the growing pains associated with raising a teenager as well as other parenting challenges. These are the prerequisites for walking a daughter down the aisle. Although most males can father a child, not all of them can truly be a FATHER. -- STEPDAD TO A WONDERFUL DAUGHTER

DEAR ABBY: I can't believe how ignorant, uncaring and selfish a bride would be to dump her dad on her wedding day. Everyone will notice and everyone will care.

Ladies, unless your father is a total loser who was absent, a drunk, a jailbird, an addict or a deadbeat, walking you down the aisle is his privilege -- no one else's. It also shouldn't be based on how much money he was able or willing to fork over for the wedding. This is the day a real man and father has looked forward to since the day you were born.

And to any man who is asked to escort a bride down the aisle: Before agreeing, ask what her situation is with her father. You may be taking a spot you don't deserve. -- MARY IN OHIO

DEAR ABBY: My daughter wanted her stepfather and her biological father to be part of her wedding. So her stepdad (my husband) walked her down the aisle to where I was sitting in the first row. I stood up, gave her my handkerchief and kissed her cheek. Then her father stepped out from the row behind me, and her stepdad handed her over to her father, who walked her the rest of the way to the altar and gave her away. Everyone was happy with this amicable solution. -- JOYCE IN ALABAMA

DEAR ABBY: I was in the same situation at my wedding. My solution was to have my stepfather walk me down the aisle and my father do the father/daughter dance. That way both men were acknowledged and each one given his special time. -- KATHY IN NEW ENGLAND

DEAR ABBY: Rather than worry about her father's feelings, the young woman could have her mother walk her down the aisle. Mom has been the constant in her life and there's no reason she shouldn't accompany her daughter to the altar. That way, Mom gets recognition for her part in raising her daughter and no feelings are hurt. -- GRETCHEN IN THE HEARTLAND

DEAR ABBY: Many years ago an advice columnist (your mother?) posed the question to her readers, "If you had it to do over again, would you still have children?" I'm wondering when the information was collected, and what the results of that inquiry were, and if you asked the same question today, what the majority of your readers would answer. -- READY2BDONE IN PHOENIX

DEAR READY2BDONE: The columnist was Ann Landers (my mother's twin sister) and while I remember the poll, I don't recall the date. I do remember that the responses arrived on postcards because it predated the establishment of the Internet.

The results were considered shocking at the time because the majority of responders said they would not have children if they had it to do over again. I'm printing your question because it will be interesting to see if feelings have changed over the intervening years.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter, "Morgan," is an intelligent, hardworking overachiever. She graduated from an Ivy League college with two degrees and academic honors. Days after graduation she was hired by a Fortune 500 company and has been promoted three times in the past four years.

Our daughter is a beautiful 28-year-old woman with a vivacious personality. Our problem is the boyfriends she chooses. She's drawn to uneducated, jobless or part-time-employed men who talk a good game but never do anything.

Morgan's latest boyfriend moved in with her and she is supporting him. Her mom, sister and I have tried talking to her many times about this and her future. She seems oblivious to common sense and becomes defensive and agitated.

We want the best for our daughter. We realize she's old enough and smart enough to make her own decisions, but we're finding it difficult to support her choices. We don't want to alienate her. What should we do? -- PATERNAL VOICE OF REASON

DEAR "PAT": Back off. All of you. These men may not be what you want for Morgan, but they obviously are filling some need she has. In time her common sense may assert itself, but even if it doesn't, your daughter's choice of a mate is hers, not yours, to make. These may be passing fancies, but sometimes opposites attract very successfully.

DEAR ABBY: My widowed 82-year-old mother will return home soon after a stay in an extended care facility. She'll need unskilled 24/7 care for a month or so.

I'm the only family member who doesn't work, so my siblings expect me to take care of her. Mom suggested hiring someone to stay with her and everyone thought it was a good idea. However, when I said I'd do it and Mom could pay me, everyone was outraged!

My siblings think that because I'm her daughter, I should do it for nothing. I say the deal would be between Mom and me and it's none of their concern. What do you think? -- MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS IN WASHINGTON STATE

DEAR M.Y.O.B.: I'm glad you asked. If you need the money, make the deal. If you don't need the money, then give your mother the help she needs out of love, respect and gratitude for the care she gave you when you needed it.

DEAR ABBY: "Tracy" and I have been best friends since junior high. (We're both 31.) A couple of months ago she and her two sons (my "nephews," ages 9 and 5) moved out of her parents' home and into their own apartment.

Tracy has never lived on her own before. As a result, she's constantly asking me to come over, spend the night, keep her company, etc. I'm happy to visit for a couple of hours once a week or so, but feel uncomfortable and pressured doing it to the extent she's asking. She didn't act this way when she lived with her parents.

I am single, childless, have my own place and a full-time job. My home is my sanctuary and I value my peace and quiet. The last thing I want at the end of a hectic workday is to go to her apartment and hang out for hours on end with her and her sweet (but loud and rambunctious) boys.

Tracy is also single. She works full-time and is a devoted mom, but there's an obvious deficiency in her life. I try to encourage her that she'll grow accustomed to her new life, but it doesn't stick. How can I make her understand that while I love her dearly, I can't be her lifelong security blanket? -- SMOTHERED IN THE EAST

DEAR SMOTHERED: Do it by explaining to your friend what you can give her, rather than what you can't. If it's one afternoon or evening a week, arrange your get-together for when you're available.

Let her know you need time to yourself to unwind after a hectic day at work, that you also need to run errands and do housework. You can be her good friend without coming running every time she snaps her fingers. And remember, she can't "smother" you any more than you allow.

DEAR ABBY: My niece is getting married in two months, and our invitations just arrived. My daughter, who was divorced last month, was invited with no "and guest" after her name. Who knows? In the next two months she might meet someone she'd like to take to the wedding.

Would it be tacky to respond "two" and see what happens? Or should she take her wounded heart and not go at all? The family knows about her divorce but still addressed her that way. -- KEEPING OPTIONS OPEN

DEAR KEEPING OPTIONS OPEN: While it would have been thoughtful to have invited your daughter and an escort, your relatives may have been more preoccupied with financial considerations than the fact that your daughter wouldn't have a date sitting with her. And yes, it would be tacky to write "two" on the RSVP and "see what happens."

Consider this: For your daughter to bring a date might invite suspicions that she was involved with the person before her divorce. And to ask a man you don't know well and have been seeing only a very short time could be construed as rushing things, and might be a turn-off for the man she had her eye on.

DEAR ABBY: The young lady I have fallen for (and am probably in love with) is half my age. Is it wrong to like someone who is almost young enough to be my daughter? -- YOUNGER THAN SPRINGTIME

DEAR YOUNGER THAN SPRINGTIME: No, it's not wrong -- it happens frequently. A more pertinent question is could she be seriously interested in someone who is almost old enough to be her father? Only she can answer that.