DEAR ABBY: Many years ago an advice columnist (your mother?) posed the question to her readers, "If you had it to do over again, would you still have children?" I'm wondering when the information was collected, and what the results of that inquiry were, and if you asked the same question today, what the majority of your readers would answer. -- READY2BDONE IN PHOENIX

DEAR READY2BDONE: The columnist was Ann Landers (my mother's twin sister) and while I remember the poll, I don't recall the date. I do remember that the responses arrived on postcards because it predated the establishment of the Internet.

The results were considered shocking at the time because the majority of responders said they would not have children if they had it to do over again. I'm printing your question because it will be interesting to see if feelings have changed over the intervening years.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter, "Morgan," is an intelligent, hardworking overachiever. She graduated from an Ivy League college with two degrees and academic honors. Days after graduation she was hired by a Fortune 500 company and has been promoted three times in the past four years.

Our daughter is a beautiful 28-year-old woman with a vivacious personality. Our problem is the boyfriends she chooses. She's drawn to uneducated, jobless or part-time-employed men who talk a good game but never do anything.

Morgan's latest boyfriend moved in with her and she is supporting him. Her mom, sister and I have tried talking to her many times about this and her future. She seems oblivious to common sense and becomes defensive and agitated.

We want the best for our daughter. We realize she's old enough and smart enough to make her own decisions, but we're finding it difficult to support her choices. We don't want to alienate her. What should we do? -- PATERNAL VOICE OF REASON

DEAR "PAT": Back off. All of you. These men may not be what you want for Morgan, but they obviously are filling some need she has. In time her common sense may assert itself, but even if it doesn't, your daughter's choice of a mate is hers, not yours, to make. These may be passing fancies, but sometimes opposites attract very successfully.

DEAR ABBY: My widowed 82-year-old mother will return home soon after a stay in an extended care facility. She'll need unskilled 24/7 care for a month or so.

I'm the only family member who doesn't work, so my siblings expect me to take care of her. Mom suggested hiring someone to stay with her and everyone thought it was a good idea. However, when I said I'd do it and Mom could pay me, everyone was outraged!

My siblings think that because I'm her daughter, I should do it for nothing. I say the deal would be between Mom and me and it's none of their concern. What do you think? -- MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS IN WASHINGTON STATE

DEAR M.Y.O.B.: I'm glad you asked. If you need the money, make the deal. If you don't need the money, then give your mother the help she needs out of love, respect and gratitude for the care she gave you when you needed it.

DEAR ABBY: "Tracy" and I have been best friends since junior high. (We're both 31.) A couple of months ago she and her two sons (my "nephews," ages 9 and 5) moved out of her parents' home and into their own apartment.

Tracy has never lived on her own before. As a result, she's constantly asking me to come over, spend the night, keep her company, etc. I'm happy to visit for a couple of hours once a week or so, but feel uncomfortable and pressured doing it to the extent she's asking. She didn't act this way when she lived with her parents.

I am single, childless, have my own place and a full-time job. My home is my sanctuary and I value my peace and quiet. The last thing I want at the end of a hectic workday is to go to her apartment and hang out for hours on end with her and her sweet (but loud and rambunctious) boys.

Tracy is also single. She works full-time and is a devoted mom, but there's an obvious deficiency in her life. I try to encourage her that she'll grow accustomed to her new life, but it doesn't stick. How can I make her understand that while I love her dearly, I can't be her lifelong security blanket? -- SMOTHERED IN THE EAST

DEAR SMOTHERED: Do it by explaining to your friend what you can give her, rather than what you can't. If it's one afternoon or evening a week, arrange your get-together for when you're available.

Let her know you need time to yourself to unwind after a hectic day at work, that you also need to run errands and do housework. You can be her good friend without coming running every time she snaps her fingers. And remember, she can't "smother" you any more than you allow.

DEAR ABBY: My niece is getting married in two months, and our invitations just arrived. My daughter, who was divorced last month, was invited with no "and guest" after her name. Who knows? In the next two months she might meet someone she'd like to take to the wedding.

Would it be tacky to respond "two" and see what happens? Or should she take her wounded heart and not go at all? The family knows about her divorce but still addressed her that way. -- KEEPING OPTIONS OPEN

DEAR KEEPING OPTIONS OPEN: While it would have been thoughtful to have invited your daughter and an escort, your relatives may have been more preoccupied with financial considerations than the fact that your daughter wouldn't have a date sitting with her. And yes, it would be tacky to write "two" on the RSVP and "see what happens."

Consider this: For your daughter to bring a date might invite suspicions that she was involved with the person before her divorce. And to ask a man you don't know well and have been seeing only a very short time could be construed as rushing things, and might be a turn-off for the man she had her eye on.

DEAR ABBY: The young lady I have fallen for (and am probably in love with) is half my age. Is it wrong to like someone who is almost young enough to be my daughter? -- YOUNGER THAN SPRINGTIME

DEAR YOUNGER THAN SPRINGTIME: No, it's not wrong -- it happens frequently. A more pertinent question is could she be seriously interested in someone who is almost old enough to be her father? Only she can answer that.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are expecting our first child in a few months, and my mother, who lives out of state, will be flying in to help with the new baby. This will be her first grandchild.

Mom adopted a small indoor dog about a month ago. "Trixie" is pint-sized, but she has a loud, high-pitched bark and she barks often. When Mom told me she plans to bring Trixie with her, I expressed concern that the constant barking will wake the baby and everyone else. I am also concerned about dander in the nursery from Trixie's long hair.

I asked Mom to leave Trixie home with my father, but she said she just adopted her and doesn't want her to feel abandoned. I wouldn't mind her bringing Trixie on future visits, just not while we're adjusting to a new baby.

Am I being selfish to ask my mother to keep the dog at home when she comes to visit? -- GET ME OUT OF THE DOGHOUSE

DEAR DOGHOUSE: By the time your baby arrives, Trixie should have adjusted to both of your parents and should not feel abandoned if one of them leaves for a short while. Your needs and the needs of your household should take precedence over the needs of your mother's dog, and you are not being selfish to insist upon it.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married 24 years to a great guy. For the first time I am struggling with feelings of jealousy. My husband has begun a friendship with a female co-worker who is also married. They exchange emails, text messages and phone calls. They get together socially occasionally and have exchanged birthday and holiday gifts.

There's nothing "wrong" with what they're doing, and I feel my husband has the right to be friends with whomever he chooses. He loves me and treats me well. I don't want to feel or act like a crazy, jealous wife. But I have a hard time when I see how he enjoys his fun new friend -- who, by the way, is young and great looking. How can I overcome my jealousy? -- OLD BALL AND CHAIN

DEAR O.B. AND C.: I'm not sure you should. If your husband had a female friend from work he had lunch with occasionally, I wouldn't be concerned. But emails, texts, phone calls and exchanging gifts seems excessive. Tell him his relationship with his "fun new friend" is making you uncomfortable and you need it toned down because you feel it's a threat to your marriage. If he cares about your feelings, he should pay attention to what you're saying.

DEAR ABBY: As a former paramedic and also a food allergy sufferer, I'm acutely aware of the problems caused by this condition. Food allergies vary widely and are not limited to common ones -- nuts, shellfish, gluten or strawberries. We know what we are allergic to, and we do our best to avoid those foods.

Sometimes it's difficult to tell what's in some tasty-looking dishes at potluck gatherings. An ingredient may be used only for seasoning, but sometimes just a trace of it is all it takes to trigger a reaction. That's why I have established a practice that has always been well-received. I print out a card to attach to the dish I brought. On it I name the dish and list the ingredients.

I hope you'll find this suggestion helpful enough to pass along. It could save a life. -- JOE IN JANESVILLE, MINN.

DEAR JOE: You're right; it could -- and that's why I'm printing it. I met a widow whose husband suffered an allergic reaction and died at a dinner party, despite the frantic efforts of several physicians who were also in attendance. Forewarned is forearmed.