DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are expecting our first child in a few months, and my mother, who lives out of state, will be flying in to help with the new baby. This will be her first grandchild.

Mom adopted a small indoor dog about a month ago. "Trixie" is pint-sized, but she has a loud, high-pitched bark and she barks often. When Mom told me she plans to bring Trixie with her, I expressed concern that the constant barking will wake the baby and everyone else. I am also concerned about dander in the nursery from Trixie's long hair.

I asked Mom to leave Trixie home with my father, but she said she just adopted her and doesn't want her to feel abandoned. I wouldn't mind her bringing Trixie on future visits, just not while we're adjusting to a new baby.

Am I being selfish to ask my mother to keep the dog at home when she comes to visit? -- GET ME OUT OF THE DOGHOUSE

DEAR DOGHOUSE: By the time your baby arrives, Trixie should have adjusted to both of your parents and should not feel abandoned if one of them leaves for a short while. Your needs and the needs of your household should take precedence over the needs of your mother's dog, and you are not being selfish to insist upon it.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married 24 years to a great guy. For the first time I am struggling with feelings of jealousy. My husband has begun a friendship with a female co-worker who is also married. They exchange emails, text messages and phone calls. They get together socially occasionally and have exchanged birthday and holiday gifts.

There's nothing "wrong" with what they're doing, and I feel my husband has the right to be friends with whomever he chooses. He loves me and treats me well. I don't want to feel or act like a crazy, jealous wife. But I have a hard time when I see how he enjoys his fun new friend -- who, by the way, is young and great looking. How can I overcome my jealousy? -- OLD BALL AND CHAIN

DEAR O.B. AND C.: I'm not sure you should. If your husband had a female friend from work he had lunch with occasionally, I wouldn't be concerned. But emails, texts, phone calls and exchanging gifts seems excessive. Tell him his relationship with his "fun new friend" is making you uncomfortable and you need it toned down because you feel it's a threat to your marriage. If he cares about your feelings, he should pay attention to what you're saying.

DEAR ABBY: As a former paramedic and also a food allergy sufferer, I'm acutely aware of the problems caused by this condition. Food allergies vary widely and are not limited to common ones -- nuts, shellfish, gluten or strawberries. We know what we are allergic to, and we do our best to avoid those foods.

Sometimes it's difficult to tell what's in some tasty-looking dishes at potluck gatherings. An ingredient may be used only for seasoning, but sometimes just a trace of it is all it takes to trigger a reaction. That's why I have established a practice that has always been well-received. I print out a card to attach to the dish I brought. On it I name the dish and list the ingredients.

I hope you'll find this suggestion helpful enough to pass along. It could save a life. -- JOE IN JANESVILLE, MINN.

DEAR JOE: You're right; it could -- and that's why I'm printing it. I met a widow whose husband suffered an allergic reaction and died at a dinner party, despite the frantic efforts of several physicians who were also in attendance. Forewarned is forearmed.

DEAR ABBY: A friend recently purchased a mother's ring from a pawn shop. When "Caron" told me about it, I told her she didn't have the right to wear one because she's not a mother. I discussed it with some other friends and they agreed with me, but Caron says I "overreacted" and that everyone is on HER side.

Caron says it's "just a ring" with different colored stones and she has every right to wear it if she wants to. The women who agree with me say a mother's ring is set with varied birthstones to commemorate the birth of a child born in a certain month, and that's why Caron has no right to wear it.

Caron says I'm crazy and need a therapist. She's ending our 10-year friendship because I will not agree with her. Am I right or wrong? -- RING OF TRUTH IN ARKANSAS

DEAR RING OF TRUTH: A ring with multicolored stones is not a military medal. There are no laws or official rules governing who may or may not wear one. Shame on you for trying to take the pleasure out of her purchase, and that you would drag others into your disagreement with Caron is disappointing and puzzling.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married 11 years and have four children. During those years my husband and I struggled with our relationship. I couldn't understand why he wouldn't do the things I asked of him, and I became very resentful.

Last December we agreed to a divorce and, suddenly, it seemed like everything changed between us! We started getting along and treated each other with respect -- I guess because we had the answer to our problems and we were looking forward to change. I began reflecting on our relationship and put myself in his shoes. I realized that if he treated me the way I had treated him, there would be no way I'd want to do anything for him.

I'm still trying to understand the changes I have gone through, but I feel more love now for my husband than I have for a very long time, and I have started treating him that way.

He is struggling with this change and keeps waiting for me to revert to my old ways. We have put talk of divorce on the back burner and are just taking it day-by-day. I want other couples to know that if you want something to change, to look in the mirror. The only one who can change your circumstances is you. -- SECOND CHANCE IN TACOMA, WASH.

DEAR SECOND CHANCE: That's perceptive, and it applies to more situations than marriage. I wish you and your husband a successful reconciliation.

DEAR ABBY: "Maria" and I lived together for two years. She had wanted eyelid surgery but couldn't afford to pay $5,000. I offered to give her $2,000.

A few months ago, Maria told me she didn't love me anymore. (She now has a new boyfriend.) She called me yesterday evening asking for the money I said I'd give her for the surgery.

Do I owe her this money? She's the one who ended it. I told her to ask her new boyfriend to pay for it, but she claims I need to keep my word. -- SEEING THINGS DIFFERENTLY

DEAR SEEING THINGS: Excuse me? YOU need to keep your word? No, MARIA needs you to keep your word. When she replaced you, your generous offer to pay for her cosmetic surgery ended. So tell her she'll have to arrange for replacement financing or work out a time payment plan with her surgeon.

DEAR ABBY: I love my grandmother, but she constantly puts my grandpa down, even in front of the family. I know some of the harsh words she uses could be resentment built up over the years from past hurts. Still, if she talks so rudely to him when we're around, I wonder what she says when they're alone.

Grandma loves her family very much, especially the two of us grandkids. It just hurts that she's so mean to Grandpa. Immediately after she insults him, I'll ask her why she did it, but she acts like she has done nothing wrong.

I know it must hurt my grandfather to be treated that way so often by the woman he's been married to for more than 50 years. Should I address her about it in private? -- WORRIED GRANDDAUGHTER

DEAR WORRIED: Your grandparents' marriage has lasted half a century, so it's safe to assume that they have a fairly strong bond. It's possible that what you interpret as insulting is her way of communicating with him -- both in public and in private -- and that he tuned her out decades ago. You have already said she appears to think she has done nothing wrong, so unless your grandfather has in some way indicated that it is hurtful to him, my advice is to leave it alone. It works for them in some way.

DEAR ABBY: I am 16 and my sister "Amber" is 13. For the past few months, she has been throwing tantrums whenever things don't go her way or she feels something wrong happens, like an offensive comment someone makes. So my parents and I just leave her alone.

Amber cries, stomps and hits, and because I share a room with her I am very stressed out. I haven't been able to sleep until she wears herself out. Lately, she has been saying she hates life and I am scared she might do something stupid. What should I do? -- OLDER SIS IN NORTHERN CALIFORNIA

DEAR OLDER SIS: The behavior you have described is not normal for someone Amber's age. And if it's new behavior, it's a reason your parents should not ignore it. If your parents are unable to get Amber to talk to them, they may need the help of a physician or adolescent psychologist to get to the root of what is triggering these episodes. Please don't wait. Clip this item, give it to your parents and tell them you wrote it. I, too, am concerned for your sister.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are open with each other and can reach a satisfactory compromise on a lot of things. However, one we can't seem to reach an agreement on is the temperature of our house. When evening rolls around, my husband turns on the air conditioning and the fans, leaving me to run to the closet for multiple sweatshirts. When we sleep, I end up using four blankets while he uses just a sheet.

When I ask him to turn up the temperature, he responds with, "It's easier for you to put more clothes on if you're cold." It results in an argument every night. Please help, Abby. -- FROZEN IN OREGON

DEAR FROZEN: Stop arguing and buy a heating pad and a long extension cord. It will solve your problem and you'll both be comfortable. And for your bed, consider an electric mattress pad. If you share the same bed with your husband, get one with dual controls.