DEAR ABBY: My fiancee, "Vanessa," and I have been engaged almost a year. We're to be married in three months. When I popped the question, I took her to one of her favorite spots in the Smoky Mountains. When I proposed, she was overcome with emotion -- but not the kind I would have thought. She said yes, but she wasn't at all happy about being surprised. She doesn't like surprises.

At the time, I was sure she had an inkling about my intentions. We had discussed becoming engaged several times. Now, as the wedding draws near, she wants me to "re-propose." It makes me feel like my first wasn't good enough, and it is really upsetting me. I only intended to do it once in my life. What would you recommend? -- QUESTIONED-OUT IN OHIO

DEAR QUESTIONED-OUT: I recommend you clear the air with Vanessa ASAP. Tell her you intended to propose only once in your life, and that her request has hurt your feelings. If she still insists on a second proposal, ask for a script so you won't disappoint her again. Then be prepared to have her provide you with them regularly, because unless you're a mind reader, it's the only way you'll live up to her fantasies.

DEAR ABBY: We stand in line for movie tickets, sporting events, Black Friday shopping, etc. Am I being overly sensitive when I have stood in line and the person in front of me allows family or friends to cut in? It irks me no end when I have spent anywhere from 30 minutes to several hours waiting and someone butts in front of me.

How can I tactfully address this without being confrontational? Or should I just bite my tongue and move on? -- STANDING IN LINE

DEAR STANDING: It's one thing when a person lets a spouse or one other person in -- and quite another when it's half a dozen people. However, folks this rude can be hypersensitive when challenged and cause an altercation, so I don't recommend taking them on.

An exception to this would be Black Friday, or a store event in which only a certain number of shoppers will be allowed in. In a case like that, security should be notified if a large number of people are cutting in line.

DEAR ABBY: How can I get my stepsons to show some compassion and love for their father? They seem to forget that they have him, and that he labored to help them become successful citizens. He's a kind and sensitive man who should be cherished. He has Alzheimer's disease and needs their love now more than ever.

They live in other states, but could call more than once a year. My husband doesn't say much about them anymore. He did when we first married six years ago. We keep busy, but I cry for him. He has no family. His first wife lived for her sons only and probably forgot about her relationship with my husband. Perhaps this attitude was passed on to his sons. How do others in my situation cope? -- CRYING IN WISCONSIN

DEAR CRYING: Dry your tears, pick up the phone and encourage the "boys" to call their father once a week to say they are thinking of him and love him -- and to share some memory their father will relate to. And should your husband's sons have a memory lapse and forget to call, remind them -- but do it without laying a guilt trip.

DEAR ABBY: Like other people my age, I'm supposed to get a colonoscopy. The difficulty is that someone has to go to the two-hour appointment with me, as well as supervise me for 3 to 4 hours afterward until the anesthesia wears off.

I don't have family here, and my friends all work full time, so I hesitate to ask them. Can I hire a home health aide to go along with me? Is there a volunteer organization that provides companions? Could I stay in the recovery room for several hours and then take a taxi or drive myself home? The lack of a person to accompany me is the major reason I haven't gotten the procedure yet. I know I must not be the only person in this boat. What do you suggest? -- ON MY OWN IN BLOOMINGTON, IND.

DEAR ON YOUR OWN: You're definitely not the only person who has faced this problem, which is why I'm printing your letter.

Do you belong to a church? If so, contact your clergyperson and ask if he or she knows someone in your congregation who would be willing to accompany you for the procedure, drive you home and stay for a few hours. If not, because you live in a university town, contact the school and ask if one of the students would like to earn some extra money by providing you with transportation and supervision.

Or, ask your doctor for a referral to a healthcare aide who might be available to help you. Now stop procrastinating and schedule this very important appointment.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 28-year-old married woman. I work full time, own a house with my husband and have a great family life. As an only child, I have always been close with my parents. I talk to Mom sometimes twice a day and stay at their house when my husband has to work the night shift.

I mentioned to my parents that I want to get a small tattoo on my foot. They went nuts. Mom screamed at me to get out of her house. She said if I get a tattoo I am no longer welcome in her house. I tried explaining that I am an adult and although she may not agree with my choice, the decision is not hers. Dad said tattoos are trashy. Mom wouldn't speak to me for two weeks. I had to send her flowers to smooth things over.

I don't know what to do. I still want the tattoo. My husband isn't wild about the idea, but respects my decision. How do I get my parents to come around on this matter, and on my judgment in general? -- TIME TO CUT THE CORD

DEAR TIME TO CUT THE CORD: You might start by being less dependent on their approval. Tattoos have become so common they are now mainstream -- worn by doctors, lawyers and people in just about every profession. A tattoo on your foot would not be a sign you are a fallen woman.

However, think carefully about this decision because once it's on, it's there to stay. And be sure that getting it isn't a delayed form of teenage rebellion on your part and that you can live with the flak that's sure to come with it.

Your letter reminds me of the time I told my mother I wanted to get my ears pierced. Her response was: "I gave you a perfect body. If you want two more holes in your head, it's up to you." I did and never regretted it, but it made me think twice. And that's what you should do.

DEAR ABBY: Many of us have old electric typewriters that go unused. Why not donate them to a nursing home or to an elderly person who can no longer write? Even people with severe Parkinson's disease can still hit a key with one finger and write letters they were once unable to do. -- SUSAN IN ARKANSAS

DEAR SUSAN: That's a great idea, and one worth pursuing for anyone interested in recycling.

DEAR ABBY: This is embarrassing to say, but yesterday my sister wanted to go tanning, so our neighbor's father took us. After she got out of the car, he started to touch me inappropriately and say nasty things.

I told him to stop and that I didn't like it, but he kept on. Should I tell the police? Or my old social worker? I don't know what to do. My sister and I stay home a lot because our parents work, and I'm afraid he'll do something worse.

Please don't print my name or location. I don't want my parents to know just yet. I'm 20 and don't know how the law works for this type of assault. This is considered an assault, right? Please answer soon. -- SCARED ON THE EAST COAST

DEAR SCARED: No one has the right to put his hands on you without your permission! While what your neighbor's father did may not have been an assault, it could be considered sexual battery. You should definitely inform your social worker right away. A man who would do this to you is completely capable of doing it to a minor. Your social worker will know how to handle the details.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend was laid off 11 months ago and hasn't been able to find another job since. My problem is, he isn't seriously looking for one. Every time I suggest he get one he becomes angry, or if I suggest a specific job he gives me some reason why he won't take it -- such as the pay is too low. He has no college education and no other formal schooling. What does he expect?

I love him, and other than this our relationship is pretty great. But lately this is causing a major strain because I want more for him. I hold two jobs and will be continuing my B.S. in psychology next year. I have tried being nice, being rude, and discussing it with him. He just doesn't "get" that I'm losing respect for the man I once admired. How can I make him see he needs to do more with his life than collect unemployment? -- STRIVING HIGHER IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR STRIVING HIGHER: With today's job market what it is, it's possible that without further training your boyfriend may not be able to find another job that offers the same wages and/or benefits as the one he lost. Remind him that his unemployment benefits are finite -- they're not going to last forever.

He needs to understand that when that happens, you are not going to support him. He may be depressed, but the longer he sits around, the longer it'll take him to become motivated. Even if he can't find work right now, he can seek further job training. He can also do volunteer work, which would get him out and circulating and help him to make more contacts that could lead to permanent employment.

DEAR ABBY: Let's say you made arrangements with a friend and then forgot about them, so you made other arrangements with someone else. When you discover your mistake, should you honor the first commitment? -- NEEDS AN ANSWER SOON

DEAR NEEDS AN ANSWER: Yes, you should. To cancel the original plans would be rude. And when you make other arrangements with the "someone else," you should apologize and explain that you had previous plans.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $12 (U.S. funds)