DEAR ABBY: My best friend, "Brianna," often invites me to big parties at her older friends' homes. At first I was thrilled because I'm only 15. At the parties I saw some people doing bad things -- but I didn't, at first.

Soon, Brianna pressured me into doing some things that I didn't feel comfortable doing. My parents are very strict about these things, and I knew it was wrong. I have tried to get out of going to the parties, but Brianna says bad things to me. I have even had to lie to my parents about where I'm going.

Every girl my age wants to go to these parties, but I don't. Am I weird for not wanting to get involved in inappropriate things? I'm afraid if I stand up to Brianna, she'll make everyone hate me. Please help. What should I do? -- FEELING PRESSURED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR FEELING PRESSURED: You're not weird, and "every" girl your age does not want to attend the parties you have mentioned. You appear to be a lot more intelligent than your "friend" Brianna, who sounds more like a bully than a friend.

Because Brianna does things that could land her in serious trouble doesn't mean that you should do them.

As I say in my booklet, "What Every Teen Should Know": "... when it comes to being enticed into acts that are senseless, dangerous, illegal or immoral, it's the 'squares,' the kids who care about their reputations (and their school and/or police records), who really show courage by saying, 'No thanks, I'll pass.'"

Today, it's not unusual to hear about teens engaging in adult activities at much younger ages than the teenagers of previous generations. That is why it is so important for parents (and guardians) to take the time to discuss alcohol, drugs, sex and family values with their children well before they start experimenting.

My teen booklet provides the answers to frequently asked questions such as: How old must a girl be before she can get pregnant? Can she get pregnant the first time she has sex? What time of the month is a girl 100 percent safe? How old must a boy be before he can father a child? Another important topic that's included is how to avoid date rape and what to do if it happens. To order "What Every Teen Should Know," send your name and address, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds), to Dear Abby Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. Shipping and handling are included in the price. My booklet also contains information on contraception and sexually transmitted diseases and how to recognize them. It has been distributed in doctors' offices and used to promote discussion by educators and religious leaders, and is often used by parents who find it difficult to discuss sex with their children.

DEAR ABBY: There's a question I have been pondering for years and I have never seen it addressed in your column. Which came first, the chicken sandwich or the egg salad? I need to make a decision soon. -- CHICKEN LOVER IN PORTLAND, ORE.

DEAR CHICKEN LOVER: Your question is out of my area of expertise because I'm a peanut butter-and-jelly girl. But I know baloney when I'm handed a portion, so chew on that until you figure out the answer.

DEAR ABBY: "Keeping It Real in Laguna Beach, Calif." (May 27), who is embarrassed by the dialects of his Southern relatives, should learn some Southern hospitality! Yes, we may say "Ma and Pa," "y'all," "yonder" and "I reckon," but we would not laugh or be embarrassed if a California relative came to visit. We'd be overjoyed and welcoming.

"K.I.R.," get off your high horse and get over yourself! If you visited, we'd show you around town, take you to see friends and relatives, and smother you with affection. We'd have big family gatherings, sit on the front porch and drink lemonade. We would never ridicule your different accent.

Come spend some time with us "hicks." We welcome everyone and are glad to have you. We'll serve you white gravy and homemade buttermilk biscuits, pecan pie and sweet tea. And when you leave, we'll give you a big, air-constricting hug and some "sugar" (Southern slang for kisses) and say, "Y'all come back now, ya hear?" -- GEORGIA GIRL

DEAR GEORGIA GIRL: To heck with "K.I.R." -- invite me! You'll be pleased to know your fellow Southerners came out in force against "K.I.R.'s" uppity attitude. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: "Keeping It Real" is living in a fantasy world -- a sad one at that. Our country is made up of all kinds of people. How can he not see the charm in a simple, down-home accent? Using different regional phrases or expressions doesn't make a person stupid or uneducated -- a fact "K.I.R." might understand if he were more educated himself.

I adore my Southern heritage. I love being able to tell the difference between the drawl of someone from the Carolinas versus the Cajun tones of folks from Louisiana. There's richness to those voices. You can almost hear the history by listening to someone speak. I'd much rather hear about "Ma and Pa" than be repeatedly subjected to words like "dude" or "gnarly." All I can say to "K.I.R." is -- bless your heart! -- PROUD BELLE IN ARKANSAS

DEAR ABBY: Why would "K.I.R." assume that because his Southern family doesn't live in an "uneducated" area, their accents are "fake"? His generalizations show how little he knows about the rich and varied Southern culture. He should read Tennessee Williams, Eudora Welty or Truman Capote, or watch a documentary about the South. In other words, educate himself to keep from coming off as embarrassingly shallow in front of his relatives. -- SOUTHERN YANKEE IN TEXAS

DEAR ABBY: The late Lewis Grizzard, an accomplished writer and comedian from Georgia, talked about the differences between Northerners and Southerners in his comedy show. My favorite line about our twang was, "God talks like we do." -- KARLYLE IN KENTUCKY

DEAR ABBY: I had lunch with the CEO of a major corporation. He is Harvard-educated with a doctorate from Berkeley. When he ordered "smashed taters with gravy" no one thought he was a hick. -- SMILING IN SEATTLE

DEAR ABBY: I'm appalled by "K.I.R.'s" pretentious attitude. Anyone spending this much time worrying about the use of "Ma and Pa" clearly has too much time on his hands. He should spend it more constructively, examining why he's so concerned with appearances. -- DAWN IN CONNECTICUT

DEAR ABBY: I'm guessing the country folk are having fun with him. I have a master's degree in English and can quote Milton and Yeats. But around snobs like this, I'd go all "Jed Clampett" so fast he'd think he's been slogwalloped by a she-critter without no young-uns. -- BRIAN IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR ABBY: That fool can kiss my grits! -- KAYE IN VIRGINIA

DEAR ABBY: I loaned money to a couple of family members when I was overseas. They had fallen behind on their bills, so I sent them each $1,000 to get caught up.

It's two years later, and I have yet to see a dime from either one of them. I have sent them both letters asking to have "some" money paid back; both sent me excuses about why they can't pay anything. However, on Facebook they write about how they went shopping, joined a gym and so on. I feel I have been taken advantage of. What can I do to get this settled? -- TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF IN MINNESOTA

DEAR TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF: Try this ... post on your Facebook page: "It's funny what short memories some people have. I loaned 'Tom' and 'Geri' $1,000 two years ago when they fell behind on some bills. Instead of repayment, I have received nothing but excuses -- and all the while I see their postings about shopping at the mall and going to the gym. What DEADBEATS!"

Maybe it will shame your relatives into paying up. (Or not, because some people have no shame.)

DEAR ABBY: Do I have to stop wearing my wedding ring? My husband died three years ago. We had been married 53 years and 12 days. Abby, I pledged "until death do us part." I just can't seem to make myself take off the ring he put on my finger so many years ago.

I'm tired of being told that I "have" to give up something so precious to me. Is there a time limit, or is it OK for me to go ahead with wearing the ring and ignore the people who pester me about taking it off? Maybe a time will come when I'll want to, but not now, not yet. Please give me some sound advice. -- ARIZONA WIDOW

DEAR WIDOW: Please accept my sympathy for your loss. Widows and widowers usually remove their wedding ring at the point when they decide they would like to begin dating again. When they do, some of them choose to move the ring from their left to the right hand. Others put it away as a treasured keepsake.

There is no set time at which your wedding ring "must" come off. If and when you feel the time is right, it will happen -- or not. This is a personal decision that no one can or should make for you.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 15 years old, and I'm afraid to kiss! I won't date anyone because I'm afraid my kiss will suffer by comparison. I know no one becomes an expert without practice, but I don't want anyone to be my first kiss.

Several guys are into me, but I can't date them because eventually they'll want to kiss. It would be so embarrassing to be horrible at it. Any advice? -- TOO FREAKED OUT TO MAKE OUT

DEAR FREAKED OUT: Kissing isn't a competitive sport, so stop worrying that you won't measure up. A kiss doesn't have to be the way it's portrayed in the movies, with heavy breathing and mouths agape. Whether a guy wants to kiss you isn't as important as whether you want him to kiss you. If you do, all you have to do is close your eyes, tilt your head a bit to the side and lean in. He will take care of the rest.

I remember my first "real" kiss. I was 12, and my parents had decided to move from Wisconsin to California. I had a crush on a 16-year-old usher at the local movie theater. (He looked so handsome in his uniform!) Two weeks before we were scheduled to leave, I summoned the courage to approach him after a show, told him I was leaving, and asked if he'd give me my first real kiss. Once he got over his visible surprise, he did. It was sweet, gentle, chaste, and I've never forgotten it.