DEAR READERS: On May 18, I printed a letter from a young woman who had been invited to a friend's lingerie shower. "Bringing a Blender in Montana" was uncomfortable with the idea of purchasing intimate apparel for the bride-to-be, so I suggested she bring a "high-necked flannel nightgown." When I asked you readers to offer other gift suggestions, you responded with an avalanche of terrific responses. Thanks to all for your clever suggestions. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: One of the most unique bridal shower gifts I received was a set of pillowcases. Both cases had one side that read "YES" in big red letters. The reverse side of the bride's case said, "Not tonight, I have a headache." The other side of the groom's case read, "I have the aspirin." -- PILLOW TALK 26 YEARS LATER

DEAR ABBY: "Bringing" could give her friend a set of cooking spices to "keep the spice in their marriage." The card should read: "Let your fantasies go wild when you have the 'thyme'!" -- SPICE GIRL IN STOCKTON, CALIF.

DEAR ABBY: For my granddaughter's lingerie shower, I gave her a generous check, a pair of men's dress socks and a note saying the socks were to replace the ones she'd knock off him when he saw her in one of her beautiful nightgowns. It elicited many chuckles from the guests.� -- STILL KNOCKIN' HIS SOCKS OFF

DEAR ABBY: I was given a gift basket, which included body lotion, bath salts, candles, chocolates and a romantic DVD. I enjoyed the gift basket more than the lingerie. -- JUDY IN RAWLINS, WYO.

DEAR ABBY: We had a "useful utensil party" for my future sister-in-law. I gave her a nutcracker. -- DEBBIE IN ALBION, CALIF.

DEAR ABBY: When I attended my granddaughter's bridal shower, I wrapped some fig leaves with her gift and joked about her wearing them in case her closet ran short. She responded with, "Gramma!" It surprised her, but it brought a lot of laughs. -- GRAMMA ON THE WEST COAST

DEAR ABBY: Lovely camisoles or slips, special mesh bags for washing fine items, scented lingerie detergent or pretty new slippers are all acceptable and appreciated gifts for starting married life. -- DIANNE IN CARLISLE, PA.

DEAR ABBY: As a gag gift, she could give them a bottle of aspirin and some good reading material ... -- BEEN THERE IN ILLINOIS

DEAR ABBY: Four silk scarves, a leather whip and a can of whipped cream. This is all done in fun! -- HAVING A GOOD TIME IN THE EAST

DEAR ABBY: My dad said it didn't matter what my sister wore on her wedding night. She could wear a burlap sack and her husband would be happy. One of my aunts took his idea and made a burlap sack "nightie," complete with lace at the neckline and hem. My sister, who has a wonderful sense of humor, wore it on her wedding night. I'm sure it provided a good laugh and a fun way to end their wedding day. -- HER BIG SISTER

DEAR ABBY: Packaged in a beautifully wrapped, fairly large box was one lace-and-ribbon bow with a note saying, "Wear only this on your wedding night." -- WITH LOVE FROM GRANDMA

DEAR ABBY: My in-laws were married in 1940. She was 17; he was 19. For her shower, my mother-in-law received a beautiful full-length nightgown with fur trim around the bottom added by the giver. The card read: "To keep your neck warm." -- IRENE IN ELIDA, OHIO

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 16-year-old gangbanger looking at spending the rest of my life isolated in a little bird cage. Every day I ask myself the same question. Was it really worth throwing my life away? All I did was help a "homeboy" from getting hurt. I got caught and was convicted on eight charges that led to more than four consecutive life sentences. That ain't no joke! The sad part of it is that the so-called homeboy turned his back on me when I needed him most. I should've pulled away when I could've.

The main reason for this letter is to help parents and teens like myself who are choosing the wrong path to realize what you're getting into while there is still time. Tell parents out there, if you see your kid is messing up in school, using drugs, hanging with the wrong crowd, anything that would lead to gang affiliation, reach out and help them while you still can before they're in too deep. They (teens) turn toward gang life in search of the love they need from their family. Or they want to fit in and be cool.

To all the gangbangers who think you're cool and being a gangster, get away from it while you still can. It may be fun at the moment, but it's not when you get caught and you have to spend the rest of your life behind bars. There's better things to do in life than hang around all day frying your brain from all the drugs and alcohol. Trust me, when you're behind bars thinking about what you did, you'll be missing your family the most. You think your homeboys are going to be there for you? Well, let me tell you this ... they're not! I guarantee you that the only people who are actually willing to change places with you are your parents. Your real family. Do you think your homeboys want to do time for you? Hell, no!

I hope this letter helps some people out there. I just want to make a contribution to society before I get locked up in the dungeon forever. This is to show you not all gangbangers are evil and cruel. Life is short. Live it smart, not stupid. Now I can finally answer the question I ask myself, "Was it all worth it?" The money, the girls and all the material things go faster than you think and could all be taken away with the snap of a finger from the split second of a decision you make. It's not worth your life. -- HOMESICK HOMEBOY

DEAR HOMESICK: You write well and your letter contains a powerful message. I'm printing it without editing. Let your experience be a warning to others. I hope from the sad circumstances of your life some other young person will realize that a gang is a poor substitute for a family and the path to success does not stop at the street corner.

If a troubled young person is in school, he or she should talk to a counselor. If there is a church nearby, talk to a priest or minister. There are alternatives to joining a gang, but you need to reach out.

DEAR ABBY: Last week a dear friend, Betty, passed away. She was a former neighbor and the kindest, gentlest, most patient soul I ever met. Although she was twice my age, we became good friends -- proof that age knows no boundaries.

Two days after Betty died, I was on a work break. I had been thinking about her all morning and how she had influenced my life. Just then I saw a penny on the floor and picked it up. It was a 1992 penny -- the year Betty and I first met. I knew right then it was a message from her letting me know she is OK. I'll carry that penny with me always in remembrance of her.

Abby, this letter is my tribute to her, and a reminder to all who read it: Cherish your friends. You never know how long they -- or you -- will be around. -- TOM IN SANTA MARIA, CALIF.

DEAR TOM: That's true. And it's why we should make the most of every day and spend each one wisely.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $12 (U.S. funds)

DEAR ABBY: My son is single and enjoys vacationing with us every summer. He pays all his expenses.

My married daughter has become jealous. Her financial situation is such that I would have to pay her expenses if she were to vacation with us. We also have a compact SUV, so when our luggage is in the car, there's room for only one other person besides my wife and me.

Am I showing partiality to my son, who does not have a spouse to travel with and is able to pay his own way? Most years I guess we could afford to take my daughter and pay her expenses, but I feel her financial situation is the result of her own poor planning. -- DAD IN DES MOINES

DEAR DAD: I can see how hearing about the enjoyable trips your son shares with you every summer might sting when your daughter hears about them. But does she expect that you include her husband on these trips and pay his way, too? And what about the driving and luggage arrangements if her husband accompanies her? Also, if you invite only her, how would her husband feel about being left behind?

A more practical alternative would be to figure out some other activity you, your daughter and her spouse can enjoy together that doesn't involve travel.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a widow in love with a wonderful man. We have decided to live together for a few months before getting married. Had we done this with our former spouses, we could have avoided marriages that led to divorce.

My mother has always said living together before marriage is a good idea. That was, until I told her my fiance and I plan to. She went ballistic! She said it's OK for others, but not her daughter. Her main concern is what people may think or say to her. I told her to simply say, "It's my daughter's business, and she's old enough to make her own decisions."

I'm upset by Mother's reaction. She seems to think that because she gave me life she has the right to run it. I'm a mature, responsible adult who can make her own life decisions. What do you think? -- SHACKING UP IN SYRACUSE

DEAR SHACKING UP: I think that as a mature, responsible adult, you need to do what is right for you. Your mother comes from a generation when standards were more strait-laced and judgmental than they are today. So remember she loves you, forgive her for "going ballistic" and agree to disagree.

DEAR ABBY: I am madly in love (infatuated?) with my surgeon. I had a bilateral mastectomy and he saved my life. The cancer is gone.

It has been almost a year, and I need to return for a checkup. I haven't stopped thinking about "Dr. Dreamy" this entire year. We are both in our 40s; I'm single, he's single. Would it be unethical if I act on my feelings and let him know? Should I get another doctor? Or do I just go to the appointment and "grin and 'bare' it"? Help! -- "GEORGE" ON MY MIND IN PHOENIX

DEAR "GEORGE" ON YOUR MIND: You have nothing to lose by baring your soul as well as the rest of you at the time of your checkup. However, if there is mutual interest, it would be unethical of Dr. Dreamy to become involved with you while you are his patient.