DEAR ABBY: I have been in a seven-year relationship with "Maddy," which will probably end soon because she can't seem to stick to any kind of routine. Maddy is in her mid-30s, the youngest in a large family, and grew up without any kind of responsibilities. She's always misplacing and losing things -- watches, cameras, jewelry, etc. Her mail goes unopened and her bills get paid late even though she has plenty of money.
Maddy thinks I'm "controlling" because I get frustrated when we have to be somewhere at a specified time and she's always late. I think she's selfish to put her needs ahead of everyone else's. There's always an excuse; it's always someone's fault, never hers.
In my line of work, if I have a meeting to attend, I arrive on time. Maddy thinks that unless it's her boss telling her what time to be at a meeting, everything else is when she "gets to it." I have planned entire weekends with dinner reservations and events scheduled and let her know what time we need to leave. When the time comes, she's not even packed yet. Worse, she can't understand my irritation. Is this relationship worth saving -- or my sanity? -- LOSING PATIENCE IN THE PACIFIC NORTHWEST
DEAR LOSING PATIENCE: Maddy must have many amazingly good qualities for you to have tolerated her lack of organization and consideration for others this long. Because you have let her know how you feel about it and nothing has changed, it's time to accept that no changes will be forthcoming. My advice is to save your sanity. You'll be happier and less frustrated if you find someone more like yourself.