DEAR ABBY: "Lynn" and I were friends since we were teenagers. We are now in our late 40s. We had a successful business together, but I decided to leave it to pursue my dreams. She didn't understand and our relationship was the casualty.

We didn't speak for two years. I attempted a reconciliation, but it failed. We're both bitter regarding the settlement of the business, and I'm not sure it can ever be resolved.

There is a high school reunion coming up and I'm not sure how to handle it. Sitting down and talking with her isn't an option. She's not reasonable, and she's prone to sudden outbursts of anger. Can you help? -- FORMERLY FRIENDLY

DEAR FORMERLY FRIENDLY: Yes, when you attend the reunion, avoid her as much as possible. But if you can't, keep any conversation civil, perfunctory, brief -- and move away.

DEAR ABBY: My wealthy brother-in-law and his entire family didn't give my daughter a graduation gift. And even though they attended my son's wedding, none of them gave him a wedding gift, either.

We have attended the graduations and weddings of all their children and have been generous. We know the right thing is to say nothing, but it's hard to understand and remain quiet. What do you think? -- GIFTLESS FAMILY IN GRAND RAPIDS

DEAR GIFTLESS FAMILY: If your in-laws attended both events, they should have given something. They may be cheap, stingy or so newly rich that they haven't learned the basic rules of etiquette. Or, they may have had financial reversals you are unaware of. You are correct that the "right" thing to do is to say nothing, so resist the temptation to call them on it. And in dealing with them in the future, expect nothing and you won't be disappointed.

DEAR ABBY: My 17-year-old daughter, "Kelly," tried to commit suicide. She was admitted to a hospital and started on an antidepressant. Last night, when I was walking across the parking lot to the ward, I met her psychiatrist. When I asked how Kelly was doing, he said she's agitated, not sleeping and he was starting her on medication that night.

When he mentioned the dose, I told him my daughter had been given half that amount previously and didn't wake up for 24 hours. I said I thought he should give her less or change the medication. He said he'd change it, went back inside and I followed.

I'm glad I ran into him, but now I wonder what would have happened if I hadn't. What are the rules about medication being given to adolescents? Aren't the parents supposed to give consent? What can I do to prevent this from happening again? -- VIGILANT MOM IN COLORADO

DEAR VIGILANT MOM: Because your daughter is under 18, your consent is needed for treatment. Good care is both patient- and family-focused. You have a right to know what's going on in your daughter's treatment and to make sure her doctor has enough information to do an effective job.

It's perfectly all right to advocate for your child. Should you become overwhelmed, the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) and the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance (DBSA) can provide support and help you navigate the system. Call NAMI toll-free at (800) 950-6264 or go to � HYPERLINK "http://www.nami.org" ��www.nami.org�. The toll-free number for DBSA is (800) 826-3632 and the website is www.dbsalliance.org.

DEAR ABBY: From time to time, my husband and I are asked by some friends to dine out with them. However, the wife does some things that make us very uncomfortable. She prides herself on being friendly and outgoing. When we're in a restaurant, she'll go from table to table and engage in conversations with people she doesn't know. She'll ask where they're from, what they've ordered, etc. Once, she eavesdropped while the people at the next table discussed what they were ordering and gave them her opinion on what they should "really" order. It progressed to her joining them for a short time at their table for further conversation.

While I appreciate that she's trying to impress us, it embarrasses my husband and me. How do we handle the situation without telling her, making her feel bad and putting a strain on our friendship? We don't enjoy dining out with them like we used to. Are we overreacting, or is this bad manners? -- MORTIFIED IN SALT LAKE CITY

DEAR MORTIFIED: If you and your husband are dinner guests, the lady should be devoting her attention to you and not the other diners in the restaurant. To leave you and go table-hopping is rude. However, to call her on it would be equally rude. So, because you don't enjoy dining out with them the way you used to, do it less often and it will be less upsetting.

DEAR ABBY: How can we convince our married daughter with children to seek a separation or divorce from her husband, who is physically, mentally and economically abusive to her and the kids? We believe she's suffering from low self-esteem, depression and other issues she can't resolve with him.

She has had to borrow what little money we can spare to buy food, school clothing and other basics. Her husband believes she should be working, taking care of an infant and an older child, paying for day care, half the bills and mortgage. Abby, this man has an income in the lower six figures!

We suggested therapy, but it was ignored. He blames everything on her. There is so much more to this story, but it would take up 10 of your columns. Please help. -- DESPERATE DAD IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR DESPERATE: A lawyer could point out to your daughter that she lives in a community property state, and half of what her husband has accumulated during the marriage is hers. A social worker could warn her that abuse doesn't remain static, that it can escalate to violence if it hasn't already. Statistics could illustrate that men who abuse their wives often go on to abuse their children. There is much that could be done, but not until or unless your daughter is willing to admit to herself that she is the victim of spousal abuse and take action.

DEAR ABBY: My mother-in-law, "Kay" -- who is in her 50s -- dresses like she's in her teens or 20s. Don't get me wrong, she looks great. She exercises several hours a day to keep in shape and follows a strict diet.

Kay wears spaghetti-strap shirts and short skirts in the summer, and bikinis to sunbathe. I understand that she wants to show off her body, but is there a way to direct her to more age-appropriate clothing? Or am I in the wrong here? -- PRIM AND PROPER IN OKLAHOMA

DEAR PRIM AND PROPER: You are well-intentioned, but if you are wise, you will refrain from giving your mother-in-law any unasked-for fashion advice. How she dresses is her business, not yours, and I seriously doubt your comments would be welcomed.

DEAR ABBY: I recently learned that my husband of 35 years is gay. I never suspected and I am stunned. I have loved him since we met. I still do. I have never been interested in anyone else. We have three children and eight grandchildren who all adore him.

I learned his secret from an email he left on the computer screen. It took a few days, but I confronted him and he told me everything. He has been with men since before our marriage. He assured me he has never done anything that could have caused me to get a disease. I went for an examination and I'm fine.

I'm lost about what my next step should be. I'm in my late 50s. Starting over isn't something I ever considered. I'm seeing a therapist who suggested it might be simpler to consider myself a widow. I have no interest in having sex with my husband again, but being apart from him terrifies me. I feel like I'm in prison. Have you any suggestions? -- HELPLESS IN MIAMI

DEAR HELPLESS: You are not "in prison" and you're not "helpless." You're probably in shock, knowing your husband deceived you from the time you met him. That's understandable. My advice is to do nothing until you regain some sense of balance.

Finding that email was no accident. Consciously or unconsciously, your husband wanted you to see it. That you no longer want to have sex with him isn't surprising. Some things to consider: Does he still want to have sex with you? How do you feel about having sex with anyone? Is your husband involved with more than one person or just one? And does he want to stay married?

Some women (and men) remain married to their bisexual spouse. Others marry people they know are gay. I do not agree with your therapist that you should "consider yourself a widow," unless you want to be married to the living dead.

Before making any decision about your future, you should contact the Straight Spouse Network. It's a confidential support network of current or former heterosexual spouses or partners of gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender mates. It helps straight spouses or partners cope constructively with the coming-out crisis and assists mixed-orientation couples and their children to build bridges of understanding. The phone number is (201) 825-7763 and the website is www.StraightSpouse.org. I wish you luck on your journey.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 19-year-old woman. When I was 4, my mom went to prison for eight years. It turned her life around. At 38, she now has a college degree, a loving husband, a good job and a new home.

My two younger sisters say they don't want to be part of Mom's life, but they never fail to call her at holiday and birthday time to pick up the gifts they know she has bought them. Afterward, they don't contact her or answer her calls and texts until the next holiday. It leaves Mom depressed and feeling used. I have tried telling them they're wrong, but they don't listen. They say I'm wrong for getting in their business. Is it wrong to want my mother to be happy? -- DAUGHTER ON THE OUTSIDE

DEAR DAUGHTER: I don't blame your mother for feeling depressed and used. Your two younger sisters are manipulative, selfish and self-centered. However, your mother is enabling them to behave that way. Talk to her and suggest family counseling. She may be giving and giving out of guilt, they may be taking and taking in order to punish her, and that's not healthy for any of them.