DEAR ABBY: "Little Bit Lonely" (March 26) misses traveling since her husband's death. She wrote that she isn't "good at mingling with new people" and wondered if it would be appropriate to ask her son to include her on weekend trips with his family.

I want to urge "Lonely" to go to her local community college and take classes for seniors. Take any class she might have dreamed of as a young woman. Make friends. Expand her horizons!

I had breast cancer 18 months ago. The day after my surgery, I took stock of my life and decided if I was to follow my childhood dream, what better time than now? I am doing that, and have begun studying voice and theater arts. Do I aspire to be another Helen Reddy or Helen Mirren? No, but I intend to have fun while I take the journey of the rest of my life.

Let me say to her, "Don't be a 'little bit lonely.' Be a little bit too busy!" -- NOT AT ALL LONELY, SANTA ROSA, CALIF.

DEAR NOT LONELY: Thank you for an inspiring letter. Other readers shared creative ideas for "Lonely" that might help her set her sails in new directions. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: "Lonely" should organize a trip (even just a weekend jaunt) and invite her son and family along. That would give the son the opportunity to reciprocate her invitation, which could lead to a new family tradition. -- GAYLE IN KANSAS CITY

DEAR ABBY: My dad passed away eight years ago, and Mom has been on her own ever since. She has become a savvy traveler and has made numerous friends along the way. "Lonely" should look into churches, travel agencies and cruise companies for trips for senior singles. "Lonely" does not need to be alone. My mom goes places with family and is close friends with my mother-in-law, too. One or two trips, and "Lonely" should be able to find a few good friends. -- PROUD OF MY BROOKLYN MOM

DEAR ABBY: I, too, am a widow. I go on my own to football and soccer games as well as other activities that involve my grandchildren. It's my firm belief that it isn't up to my children to entertain me. They have their own busy lives and need their family time.

I have developed my own social life. I met one of my best friends in a choral group, and another when she sat next to me at church. The three of us go to movies, concerts, plays, etc., and they have introduced me to many new activities. Senior centers sponsor computer classes, bingo and day excursions, and community colleges offer classes in photography, writing, yoga for a nominal fee. Be willing to work through some discomfort and take some risks. -- NOT A BIT LONELY

DEAR ABBY: Here's what I'd tell "Lonely": Take a course in self-development. Programs are available for developing skills and learning to live life from the perspective of "possibilities."

Do something for someone in a nursing home or visit Alzheimer's patients. Read to them or just hold a hand. When you get a smile from these patients, you'll know your presence really makes a difference. Join the Red Hat Society. Most of the members are alone and have a great time together.

Volunteer at church, teach Sunday school, work with the homeless in a shelter. Do something for someone who has less. Our world needs people with warm hearts and the time to contribute. You will be amazed at how great you'll feel. -- LORRAINE IN ENCINITAS, CALIF.

DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Derek," confessed to me that while he was out with friends on a work-related trip, he drank too much and danced with and kissed another woman. He didn't tell me right away. He planned to tell me sometime in the future, but his conscience bothered him, so he told me five days later.

I'm at a loss as to what to do. We have a small child. Derek is a good man, but he has violated my trust. I can't forget and I don't know if I can forgive. We've had our ups and downs, and the past year has been particularly stressful.

When he returned from the trip, he was the perfect husband -- loving, attentive, devoted -- exactly what I had been missing. To find out that what was behind this change in his behavior was guilt is devastating. I'm not sure I want to be with him anymore. Am I overreacting? -- THROWN IN MARYLAND

DEAR THROWN: Yes -- but that doesn't mean you should ignore what happened. Before you throw away what could be a perfectly good marriage, it's important you and Derek work through what caused those "ups and downs" that led to what was missing in your relationship. A marriage counselor could be very helpful right now. If Derek didn't love you and want to make things right, he wouldn't have told you about what he did. For that, I respect him, and so should you.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are recently retired. We've happily settled into a morning routine of breakfast, reading the paper and exercising. Some days we don't bother to shower and dress until late morning.

A friend, "Herb," who is also retired, frequently drops by unannounced between 8 a.m. and noon. You'd think that after catching me still in my robe and my husband in sweaty workout clothes, Herb would get the message that it's not convenient to visit, but he continues. I see no way of stopping this short of being blunt, but I don't want to hurt his feelings. We see him and his wife at many social events.

My question is, what's the etiquette regarding calling ahead to let someone know you would like to stop by? Maybe if you answer this in the newspaper, Herb will see it and recognize himself. We need help! -- FRUSTRATED IN BIRMINGHAM, ALA.

DEAR FRUSTRATED: And what if Herb doesn't see the column today? It has been known to happen with even the most devoted Dear Abby readers. There is nothing hurtful or rude about telling someone who drops by when you're not presentable that you're embarrassed to be "caught" that way, and to please call before coming over to ask if it's convenient. If necessary, say you read it in my column.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter "Celia" is 32 and single. She's beautiful, intelligent, hardworking and a great cook -- but she can't keep a boyfriend! Celia has dated a lot of men and has no problem attracting them, but she does have a problem keeping them. After a few dates, they don't want to go out with her anymore. I don't know why. Have you any ideas? -- CONCERNED ABOUT MY GIRL IN KENTUCKY

DEAR CONCERNED: Is Celia as anxious about her single status as you are? If so, few things chase a man off faster than a woman who's looking for a commitment too quickly. However, having never met or spoken with your daughter, I can't say what may be causing the men in her life to head for the door. Perhaps she should ask some of her friends for some honest feedback.

DEAR ABBY: It's Mother's Day, so I hope you'll allow me to share how I memorialize my mom today since she is no longer living.

My mother was a nurse for many years and worked well past retirement age. She finally had to quit when her body could no longer keep up with the physical demands of the job. She was an extremely caring and self-sacrificing person who would help anyone at any time. She was also a "softie" when it came to homeless animals.

I honor her by always making a point of being scheduled to work on Mother's Day. By doing so, I'm hoping it will free up someone else to spend time with her/his mother. Then I add up my earnings for the day and donate that amount to the local animal shelter.

I can think of no better way to honor the wonderful woman who molded me and gave me the basis of who I am today. -- CELEBRATING MOM IN LIBERTY, TEXAS

DEAR CELEBRATING MOM: Your mother raised a thoughtful, caring and generous child. I'm sure she was as proud of you as you are of her. Thank you for sharing.

DEAR ABBY: My world is crumbling and I don't know how to fix it. I have failed at being what my wife needs, which resulted in her confiding in another man. I try every day to be the best husband and father I can, but I think it may not be enough for her. I want her to be happy, but I want her to be happy with me. I guess I don't listen and provide the support she needs. I thought I did, but I was wrong.

I trust my wife, but I violated that trust by snooping at her Facebook. I did it because she has been distant and I was afraid; if she wasn't talking to me, then to whom?

I'm afraid of life without her. If there was a single thing I could do or say, I would. If there was something I could buy, I'd go broke getting it for her. As of now I am lost and wanting to hold her and whisper how much I love her.

Abby, I don't expect an answer except to seek counseling, which I plan to do. I just needed to get it out. -- HOW DID I GET HERE?

DEAR HOW: While you may not expect an answer, allow me to offer one. The way to start "fixing" this is to talk to your wife. Explain what you did and the reason for it, and find out from her why she has been confiding in another man. Once you start communicating, it may turn out that your fears are groundless. However, if they're not, THEN the two of you should seek counseling to try to heal your marriage.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a recent widower. My divorced niece is 15 years younger than I am. We are not blood relatives, so would a potential couple relationship be ethical and appropriate in your opinion?

The age difference is not a significant issue because we have known each other for quite some time. I say we're good to go! My niece disagrees. Please advise. -- FEELS LIKE A KID AGAIN IN MINNESOTA

DEAR LIKE A KID AGAIN: Snap out of it! My opinion on this matter isn't nearly as relevant as what your niece thinks about it. Because the idea makes her uncomfortable, you should let it go before you embarrass both of you.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a recent widower. My divorced niece is 15 years younger than I am. We are not blood relatives, so would a potential couple relationship be ethical and appropriate in your opinion?

The age difference is not a significant issue because we have known each other for quite some time. I say we're good to go! My niece disagrees. Please advise. -- FEELS LIKE A KID AGAIN IN MINNESOTA

DEAR LIKE A KID AGAIN: Snap out of it! My opinion on this matter isn't nearly as relevant as what your niece thinks about it. Because the idea makes her uncomfortable, you should let it go before you embarrass both of you.