DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Derek," confessed to me that while he was out with friends on a work-related trip, he drank too much and danced with and kissed another woman. He didn't tell me right away. He planned to tell me sometime in the future, but his conscience bothered him, so he told me five days later.

I'm at a loss as to what to do. We have a small child. Derek is a good man, but he has violated my trust. I can't forget and I don't know if I can forgive. We've had our ups and downs, and the past year has been particularly stressful.

When he returned from the trip, he was the perfect husband -- loving, attentive, devoted -- exactly what I had been missing. To find out that what was behind this change in his behavior was guilt is devastating. I'm not sure I want to be with him anymore. Am I overreacting? -- THROWN IN MARYLAND

DEAR THROWN: Yes -- but that doesn't mean you should ignore what happened. Before you throw away what could be a perfectly good marriage, it's important you and Derek work through what caused those "ups and downs" that led to what was missing in your relationship. A marriage counselor could be very helpful right now. If Derek didn't love you and want to make things right, he wouldn't have told you about what he did. For that, I respect him, and so should you.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are recently retired. We've happily settled into a morning routine of breakfast, reading the paper and exercising. Some days we don't bother to shower and dress until late morning.

A friend, "Herb," who is also retired, frequently drops by unannounced between 8 a.m. and noon. You'd think that after catching me still in my robe and my husband in sweaty workout clothes, Herb would get the message that it's not convenient to visit, but he continues. I see no way of stopping this short of being blunt, but I don't want to hurt his feelings. We see him and his wife at many social events.

My question is, what's the etiquette regarding calling ahead to let someone know you would like to stop by? Maybe if you answer this in the newspaper, Herb will see it and recognize himself. We need help! -- FRUSTRATED IN BIRMINGHAM, ALA.

DEAR FRUSTRATED: And what if Herb doesn't see the column today? It has been known to happen with even the most devoted Dear Abby readers. There is nothing hurtful or rude about telling someone who drops by when you're not presentable that you're embarrassed to be "caught" that way, and to please call before coming over to ask if it's convenient. If necessary, say you read it in my column.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter "Celia" is 32 and single. She's beautiful, intelligent, hardworking and a great cook -- but she can't keep a boyfriend! Celia has dated a lot of men and has no problem attracting them, but she does have a problem keeping them. After a few dates, they don't want to go out with her anymore. I don't know why. Have you any ideas? -- CONCERNED ABOUT MY GIRL IN KENTUCKY

DEAR CONCERNED: Is Celia as anxious about her single status as you are? If so, few things chase a man off faster than a woman who's looking for a commitment too quickly. However, having never met or spoken with your daughter, I can't say what may be causing the men in her life to head for the door. Perhaps she should ask some of her friends for some honest feedback.

DEAR ABBY: It's Mother's Day, so I hope you'll allow me to share how I memorialize my mom today since she is no longer living.

My mother was a nurse for many years and worked well past retirement age. She finally had to quit when her body could no longer keep up with the physical demands of the job. She was an extremely caring and self-sacrificing person who would help anyone at any time. She was also a "softie" when it came to homeless animals.

I honor her by always making a point of being scheduled to work on Mother's Day. By doing so, I'm hoping it will free up someone else to spend time with her/his mother. Then I add up my earnings for the day and donate that amount to the local animal shelter.

I can think of no better way to honor the wonderful woman who molded me and gave me the basis of who I am today. -- CELEBRATING MOM IN LIBERTY, TEXAS

DEAR CELEBRATING MOM: Your mother raised a thoughtful, caring and generous child. I'm sure she was as proud of you as you are of her. Thank you for sharing.

DEAR ABBY: My world is crumbling and I don't know how to fix it. I have failed at being what my wife needs, which resulted in her confiding in another man. I try every day to be the best husband and father I can, but I think it may not be enough for her. I want her to be happy, but I want her to be happy with me. I guess I don't listen and provide the support she needs. I thought I did, but I was wrong.

I trust my wife, but I violated that trust by snooping at her Facebook. I did it because she has been distant and I was afraid; if she wasn't talking to me, then to whom?

I'm afraid of life without her. If there was a single thing I could do or say, I would. If there was something I could buy, I'd go broke getting it for her. As of now I am lost and wanting to hold her and whisper how much I love her.

Abby, I don't expect an answer except to seek counseling, which I plan to do. I just needed to get it out. -- HOW DID I GET HERE?

DEAR HOW: While you may not expect an answer, allow me to offer one. The way to start "fixing" this is to talk to your wife. Explain what you did and the reason for it, and find out from her why she has been confiding in another man. Once you start communicating, it may turn out that your fears are groundless. However, if they're not, THEN the two of you should seek counseling to try to heal your marriage.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a recent widower. My divorced niece is 15 years younger than I am. We are not blood relatives, so would a potential couple relationship be ethical and appropriate in your opinion?

The age difference is not a significant issue because we have known each other for quite some time. I say we're good to go! My niece disagrees. Please advise. -- FEELS LIKE A KID AGAIN IN MINNESOTA

DEAR LIKE A KID AGAIN: Snap out of it! My opinion on this matter isn't nearly as relevant as what your niece thinks about it. Because the idea makes her uncomfortable, you should let it go before you embarrass both of you.

DEAR READERS: A happy Mother's Day to mothers everywhere -- birth mothers, adoptive and foster mothers, and stepmothers -- and especially to my own beautiful mother, Pauline Phillips, in Minneapolis.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I were together 11 years -- since we were 12 -- and married for four. He was killed in a car accident, and I am now a 23-year-old widow. I was in the passenger seat when he died. I sustained multiple injuries, but none as great as the massive anxiety I can't seem to shake.

I have had a great deal of support from friends and family. However, two months after my husband died I began talking to "Brian," a family friend who is going through a divorce. We'd stay up for hours talking about the things we were going through. I have developed love for Brian that is beyond anything I have felt before, built on a great deal of strength and heartache.

We moved fast because of our mutual need to have someone there for us. I feel guilty, however, that I have this relationship so soon after my husband's death. On top of all this, I have huge anxiety, the result of guilt, PTSD and my fear of abandonment.

I feel isolated because I'm so much younger than most widows I meet. Also, because I have the complicating factor of Brian's divorce (with two kids) going on now, I'm afraid my anxiety will never decrease. I can't reject the love I have for him. We've been there for each other through a time of great hardship. I want to be able to relax and enjoy it, not stress out and destroy it. Can you give me any advice? -- YOUNG WIDOW IN PAIN

DEAR YOUNG WIDOW: Allow me to offer my deepest sympathy for the loss of your husband. After what you have been through, it's understandable that you would experience the feelings you have been having. But if you are going to move on in the right direction, I urge you to discuss your current situation with a mental health professional -- preferably one who specializes in post-traumatic stress and anxiety.

While it's wonderful that you have met someone so soon, I urge you to make no permanent decisions for at least a year. You and Brian can support each other, but each of you is needy right now, and that's not a basis for a healthy relationship. With time, the anxieties will ease and what's causing them will lessen. If you'll forgive the baseball vernacular, my advice is to bunt rather than try to swing for a home run now. It will improve your odds of not striking out.

DEAR ABBY: My wife likes to sunbathe in the nude in our side yard. Anyone walking by on the sidewalk, or riding by on a bike or in a car can easily see her over our 3-foot-tall picket fence.

She is a beautiful woman and has nothing to be ashamed of, but knowing strangers can see her in the buff makes me uncomfortable. She says I should get over it. Should I? -- EMBARRASSED ON ELM STREET

DEAR EMBARRASSED: Your wife assumes that your neighbors and passersby are as open-minded as she is. Please remind her that if a mother should walk by with a child, she could be deeply offended, call the police and your sun-worshipping wife could be charged with indecent exposure. A tall hedge in the front of your side yard would screen her from public view. Please consider it.