DEAR ABBY: As children come to their mothers to mend their scraped knees and broken hearts, readers in turn come to you for advice that can mend fractured relationships and save lives.

Knowing how much mothers everywhere value your wisdom, the Food and Drug Administration's Office of Women's Health and the Federal Citizen Information Center have created the Healthy Moms Advice Kit for your readers. It's filled with practical tips on topics such as hay fever, recognizing and conquering depression, keeping food safe, discovering the real differences between name brand and generic drugs and -- every mom's dream -- learning the secrets of getting a good night's sleep.

Abby, thanks for letting your readers know about the free Healthy Moms Advice Kit, and for being someone we always know we can trust to steer us to the answers we need. -- MARSHA HENDERSON, FDA ASSISTANT COMMISSIONER FOR WOMEN'S HEALTH (ACTING)

DEAR MARSHA: I'm pleased to help you educate readers on these important topics. Every year when I review the advance copies of your kits, I learn something new -- which is why I know they will be helpful to others.

Folks, this year's free smorgasbord of information contains helpful advice on such topics as how to avoid getting sick from restaurant take-out foods, medications and products to avoid during pregnancy, and an enlightening fact sheet on HPV (human papillomavirus), a sexually transmitted disease that, left untreated, can lead to cervical cancer. Did you know that vaccination with Gardasil can help prevent four types of HPV? I didn't. And no, you CAN'T get HPV from the vaccine.

Because all the information in these kits has been compiled by the government at taxpayer expense, it's offered at no cost to you. However, quantities are limited, so don't wait. Order now. To receive the kits in printed form, send your name and address to Healthy Moms Advice Kit, Pueblo, CO 81009, go online to Publications.USA.gov, or call (888) 8-PUEBLO (that's (888) 878-3256) weekdays 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. Eastern time. You can also read the publications online in PDF format, download them to your computer and print them.

DEAR ABBY: I had an affair a few years ago that lasted a lot longer than it should have. It ended when my lover, "John," died unexpectedly. The kicker is I was -- and still am -- married. For the last two years I had wanted to end the relationship, but I couldn't find the courage to do it on my own.

My question is, should I feel guilty for feeling glad that John is dead? I'm glad the affair is finally over, but I feel guilty that death is what ended it and that I didn't have the courage to end it myself. -- CONFLICTED IN SANTA ROSA

DEAR CONFLICTED: I don't think you're feeling "glad" as much as you're relieved that John is finally out of your life -- even if it was feet first. As to your guilt about not ending the affair, that's something between you, your religious adviser and your higher power. You'll have to work it out with one of them, and I'm advising you to start now.

DEAR ABBY: I am a woman who is in love with my former high school coach. I don't know if I should tell him. I first realized I loved him about a year and a half after I met him. We had an extremely close relationship, but it was not inappropriate. He is 13 years older than I am.

After two years of getting to know him and forming a strong friendship, he moved across the country for work. Since then, I have entered college and we see each other only on holidays and in the summer. Every time I see him, we go back to our normal, wonderful relationship as though nothing has changed.

I was in denial about my feelings for him. I told myself it was puppy love and couldn't work out because of the age difference and the distance. But after four years of pining for him, and several failed romances with others, I realize I deeply love him. We have a unique connection, but he has a reputation as a "player," so I can't be sure he feels the same. I don't want to ruin what we have, but I want more. Should I finally reveal my feelings? -- HURTING BADLY IN NEW ENGLAND

DEAR HURTING BADLY: You and your former coach are both adults. I see no reason why you shouldn't tell him how you feel. However, if he responds affirmatively, please be careful about how you proceed with this relationship. As you said -- he has a reputation as a player, and men with a craving for variety can be very unreliable.

DEAR ABBY: I am in my mid-50s, divorced for many years, and have two grown children. I began seeing a delightful gentleman about three years ago. (I'll call him Jack.) He was dating several women at the time, and after a few months, I made it clear that we would have to have an exclusive relationship or I could not go on seeing him. Jack reluctantly agreed and kept his promise.

Four months ago, I demanded a commitment from him. I knew I loved him and wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. He told me he loved me, but marriage is out of the question -- and if that is the only way I'd stay with him, we have to say goodbye.

I think I have made a terrible mistake, Abby. What are your thoughts on this? -- DEPRESSED IN DES MOINES

DEAR DEPRESSED: Since marriage is important to you, you were right to lay it on the line to him. His unwillingness, regardless of how nicely put, to take your relationship to another level means he wasn't as committed to you as you were to him. And once your self-esteem heals, you will realize that the person who made the terrible mistake was Jack.

DEAR ABBY: May I offer a suggestion concerning elderly people? I know this from experience.

When writing to an older adult, every so often include some labels bearing your name and address. This makes it easier for them to respond and for the post office to decipher your address.

I have an elderly friend who has severe arthritis. When we correspond, it takes me at least 20 minutes to make out what she has written. The labels have helped us both. -- INDEPENDENCE, MO., READER

DEAR READER: I'm pleased to pass the word along. And because readers have complained that they get these labels along with solicitations from charities and don't know what to do with them, this would be a good way to put them to use. Thank you for the suggestion.

DEAR ABBY: I am a volunteer manager coordinating services between 200 students and tutors in an adult refugee English as a Second Language program. We benefit greatly from the skills and perspectives of young people, but the job requires volunteers to be self-directed and mature enough to handle the assignment. May I offer some advice to those who wish to volunteer for any program for class credit -- as an intern or during summer vacation?

Understand that your assignment is a job. Someone is counting on you to be reliable and do it well -- even though you're not being paid. If you want to volunteer, call me yourself. Our conversation will be, for all intents and purposes, a job interview. I do not want to talk to your mother unless she's the one looking for the assignment.

Nonprofit organizations offer volunteers work experience and insight into a life that is unfamiliar to you. If you're not ready to commit to an assignment, ask the manager if you can "shadow" someone who is currently volunteering. It's a great way to see if the work interests you.

My volunteers are the most dedicated, intrepid, compassionate people I have ever met. They succeed because they're enthusiastic and sincere in their desire to contribute. They range in age from 17 to 82, but they all have one thing in common: They picked up the phone and spent time doing their own research.

Volunteering is an excellent way to make a difference in the world, especially when you understand where you fit into that world. -- VOLUNTEER MANAGER IN DENVER

DEAR MANAGER: Sometimes well-meaning parents try so hard to run interference for their children that they get in the way, and rather than strengthening their children's wings, they don't allow them to develop. For parents of teens and young adults who are interested in volunteering and internships, I hope this letter will serve as a wake-up call. Thank you for writing.

DEAR ABBY: I am invited to a 60th wedding anniversary party. They are requesting that all the guests wear white. I think it's unfair to ask that of a guest. I recently lost weight and will have to buy something new to wear, besides paying for my hotel and a nice gift.

I care about the couple and want to share this special occasion with them, but I'm on a fixed income. To have to go out and buy something new is a hardship. Abby, what do you think? -- REASONABLE IN SAN FRANCISCO

DEAR REASONABLE: I think you should consider some other options than buying a new outfit. Could you borrow a white outfit from someone? Or browse resale boutiques to see if they have something? If they don't, contact the anniversary couple and see if they would mind your wearing the palest outfit you have. After all, the white attire is being requested, not ordered.

DEAR ABBY: My fiance is a "screamer" during lovemaking. This bothers me. Is there a cure? -- SUBDUED IN ALBUQUERQUE

DEAR SUBDUED: For him? No. For you, the "cure" is to learn to be less self-conscious about the fact that your fiance is enjoying himself, because you are not going to change him.

DEAR ABBY: My fiance is a "screamer" during lovemaking. This bothers me. Is there a cure? -- SUBDUED IN ALBUQUERQUE

DEAR SUBDUED: For him? No. For you, the "cure" is to learn to be less self-conscious about the fact that your fiance is enjoying himself, because you are not going to change him.