DEAR ABBY: I work in a dental office. My boss (the doctor) and his assistant have a problem keeping their pants up. Every time either of them reaches for something or, God forbid, bends over -- they flash their backsides. It's just bad, and both of them are pretty good-sized men.

My boss is the kindest, most generous person I know. But frankly, this is an embarrassment for patients and co-workers alike. Something has to be done. Any suggestions to help us with this problem would be greatly appreciated. -- EMBARRASSED FOR EVERYONE, TOWANDA, PA.

DEAR EMBARRASSED: The doctor and his assistant may be unaware of the show to which they are treating everyone. You say this is not only embarrassing for the employees but also the patients. Have any of them complained about it to you? If so, you have your opening to transmit that message to Dr. Derriere.

DEAR ABBY: I have been with my boyfriend, "Gil," for three years. We bought a house together six months ago. Prior to that, we had a discussion about the future. Gil told me he wanted to get married and have kids.

I expected a marriage proposal over the holidays. When it didn't happen, I asked him what he was waiting for. His response broke my heart. He said he no longer wants to get married. Gil says he loves me, I'm his "best friend," he is willing to move forward and have children -- but not get married.

I'm not sure how I feel about his arrangement. I am depressed and don't know what to do. For me, Gil is "The One" - - the love of my life. I feel like a failure and a fool for allowing myself to get into this situation. Please help me. -- WEDDING BELL BLUES IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR WEDDING BELL BLUES: I don't blame you for feeling depressed and confused. The person you thought was The One led you on and convinced you to make a major investment under false pretenses. You should not have children with him under these circumstances. Before this goes any further and you feel even worse about yourself, I'm advising you to consult a lawyer about extricating yourself from this bad business deal. You're not the failure. He is.

DEAR ABBY: I played matchmaker for a girlfriend and introduced her to a buddy of mine from work. Two years later, he was arrested for molesting her children, and I just found out he'd had a record for this! She is no longer speaking to me. What do I do? -- REGRETFUL IN OREGON

DEAR REGRETFUL: All you can do is apologize -- which I presume you have already done. Although you were well-intended when you made the introduction, it implied that you were giving him your endorsement. However, you should not have been expected to have done a background check on him -- that was your friend's responsibility as the mother of young children. And she may be madder at herself for not doing so than she is at you.

DEAR READERS: This Friday, April 22, is Earth Day. It offers all of us a chance to do something positive for the planet. Many parents use it as an opportunity to bond with their children by sharing in a project, and some schools offer credit to students who participate (hint, hint). So check your local newspapers and go online to find ways you can help in your community.

DEAR ABBY: Large numbers of veterans are returning home with a wide range of psychological difficulties, many struggling with severe physical injuries or traumatic brain injuries. One in 10 soldiers reports mental health problems, while 30 percent of U.S. troops develop serious mental health problems within three to four months of coming home.

Post-traumatic stress is a natural human reaction to horrific experiences. The symptoms of PTSD are greatly reduced if appropriate treatment is provided quickly to those in need. Individuals who suffer from traumatic brain injuries also experience consequences such as anxiety, depression, substance abuse and marital difficulties. And children whose parents suffer from PTSD are more likely to develop symptoms of anxiety and depression.

Give an Hour is a nonprofit organization that has established a national network of more than 5,300 licensed mental health professionals who provide free mental health services to U.S. troops, their families and communities affected by the current military conflicts in Afghanistan and Iraq. Each one gives an hour each week to provide free mental health services to military personnel and their families. In addition, these volunteers work to educate the public and the military community to reduce the stigma so often associated with mental health issues.

Give an Hour offers immediate access to services for people who might fail to seek help through the military or Veterans Administration. Parents, siblings, unmarried partners and other loved ones are typically not covered by military insurance. However, they, too, are often adversely affected and can benefit from the professional help our organization offers.

Thank you for helping to spread the word about our services. -- LAUREN ITZKOWITZ, DIRECTOR OF PUBLIC RELATIONS

DEAR LAUREN: I salute your efforts. The service that Give an Hour is offering is vital, and I'm pleased to alert readers that it is available.

Readers, in addition to providing easy and free care for as long as it's needed, this organization is following the example of service embodied by so many of our military men and women. There are providers in all 50 states, Washington, D.C., Guam and Puerto Rico. To find one, log on to � HYPERLINK "http://www.giveanhour.org" �www.giveanhour.org� and use the ZIP code search. If there is no provider in your area, the organization can be contacted at � HYPERLINK "mailto:infor@giveanhour.org" �info@giveanhour.org�, and a provider will be located for you.

DEAR ABBY: My elderly father has been a widower for many years. His neighbor, also his age, recently lost her husband, and they have been spending a lot of time together. He takes her shopping, she cooks for him, etc. My concern is twofold: One, this woman is not in good health, and I can't bear to see Dad heartbroken again when she dies. My second concern is the woman and her husband never even invited Dad over for a cup of coffee after Mom died, but now that she's a widow, she all of a sudden wants to be "neighborly." I'd like to ask her why. Would I be out of line? -- LOOKING OUT FOR MY DAD

DEAR LOOKING OUT: Yes, you would. Your question would likely be regarded as hostile by both your father and the neighbor because that's the way it comes across to me.

While you may feel protective, please recognize that your father is an adult and, presumably, able to take care of himself. At this point in his life he doesn't need you to look out for him. Only if asked should you venture an opinion like the one you have confided to me.

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DEAR ABBY: I was recently invited to a relative's home because my nephew was introducing his fiancee, "Macy," to the family. I asked my nephew what gift Macy might like, and he suggested a sweater and told me her size. I bought her a lovely one -- at least, I thought it was lovely.

After Macy tried it on, I was shocked when she handed it back to me and said she didn't like it. I couldn't exchange or return it because it had been purchased from a store where I live, and this store doesn't have a branch in their state. I took the gift home with me and got a refund. Now I don't know what to do.

Because Macy gave it back to me, does she forfeit the gift? Should I send her the amount of the store refund? Do I owe her anything as a substitute for the gift she refused? She will be a part of our family, and I need to know what to do if this happens again. I'd appreciate your thoughts. --GIFT-CHALLENGED IN IOWA

DEAR GIFT-CHALLENGED: If ever I heard about someone who needs an etiquette book, it's your nephew's fiancee. Make it a thick one, because she appears to be clueless in that department. As to what to do if this happens again -- you can prevent it from happening by not selecting any more gifts for her. A donation in her name to a favorite charity might work if you feel obligated to give her something.

DEAR ABBY: The love of my life, "Adam," is leaving for school in August. He's going to Portland, Ore., to pursue his studies in renewable energy engineering. My passion is nursing. I'm currently finishing up my college requirements and waiting to get into the program. My college credits won't transfer, so if I went with Adam, I'd either have to start over or wait until I got back home to resume.

I'm wary of long-distance relationships, but I don't want to be separated from Adam for two years. We have discussed taking turns flying out to see each other and staying in touch via phone and the Internet. But I still get sad thinking about the time we'll be apart. We are both determined individuals, and in the chaos of life we have managed to find a fairy tale. Everyone has given us their advice about our situation and it hasn't helped. Do you have any words of reassurance for us? -- LOVELORN IN PHOENIX

DEAR LOVELORN: You and Adam appear to be intelligent, focused and mature young people. Although you have built a "fairy tale" together, building a solid future will take some sacrifice on both your parts. Being apart will allow each of you to concentrate fully on your studies. If you love each other, and it appears you do, you will get through the challenge and emerge stronger than ever.

DEAR ABBY: I found out my high school sweetheart has cancer and only a short time to live. I would like to send her flowers and a message -- but without the knowledge of my wife of 43 years. Is this a bad idea? -- OLD FLAME IN ILLINOIS

DEAR OLD FLAME: Frankly, I see no reason why you should sneak around to do it without your wife's knowledge. Tell her word has reached you that the woman is dying, that at the time you knew her she meant a lot to you, and you plan to send her flowers and a message. If your wife is so insecure that she would tell you not to, don't do it. But, please, don't beat around the bush or sneak around. You're all adults, and being secretive is childish.

TO MY JEWISH READERS: It's time to hide the matzo again -- Passover begins at sundown. Happy Passover, everyone!