DEAR ABBY: I am a high school senior who has been filling out applications for college. I have found a few small liberal arts colleges I'd love to attend, and I have a favorite.

My problem: My father has been out of work for quite some time. He has applied for a job at a large state college. I visited the school and don't like it because it's a huge party school. My mother has now informed me that if Dad gets the job, I'll have no choice but to go there because we would get a 70 percent discount in tuition.

I feel angry and guilty at the same time. The anger is because my parents had promised me that college would be my choice. The guilt is for not wanting my father to get this job, even though it would greatly help my family's financial situation. Dad has made the second round of the long interview process. What should I do? -- BOUND FOR COLLEGE

DEAR BOUND FOR COLLEGE: Your parents may have promised you your choice of colleges, but that was likely when your family's financial situation was much better. What you should do is, first, pray that your father gets the job he so desperately needs. Then go to the library and start exploring what financial aid or scholarships are available at the schools you'd prefer to attend.

Also, don't turn up your nose at the state college just yet. While it may have a reputation as a party school, that doesn't mean you have to participate in the festivities. If you're a serious student, you can still get an excellent education and your degree, if you're willing to keep your shoulder to the grindstone and work for it.

DEAR ABBY: I have been happily married to my husband for 20 years. My problem is my children want me to make friends. My husband is my best friend. I don't feel the need to go on "girls' nights out" or anything else. I'm happy just to be with him.

I'm not anti-social, just content. Besides, I have seen what can happen to relationships when these kinds of outings go too far. I don't want to offend my kids because they have only my best interests at heart, but I'm tired of the pressure. How can I get my adult children to leave my personal life alone and stop trying to get me to make friends? -- HAPPY AT HOME

DEAR HAPPY: Your children may be urging you to make friends because they are aware that, statistically, women outlive their husbands. They don't want you to be completely isolated if something should happen to their father, or worse, completely dependent upon them for a social life. Frankly, I think they have a point. However, as an adult you can make your own decisions. And if yours is that you don't want to expand your circle (of two), just say it in plain English.

DEAR ABBY: From time to time you print helpful suggestions to readers in your column. Allow me to pass along a no-cost charitable contribution:

I got one of those "airline miles expiring" letters offering magazine subscriptions for the miles. Not wanting or needing any of the magazines that were listed, I had more than a dozen subscriptions sent to our local residential care facility. The residents were thrilled to receive them! -- DAVID M. IN SAN FRANCISCO

DEAR DAVID: What a thoughtful gesture. I'm sure my readers will appreciate your suggestion.

DEAR ABBY: My son has refused to speak to me ever again because his girlfriend asked me if he had another child from a previous relationship. I didn't think it was right to lie to her, so I told her the truth about his daughter. My son called me yesterday and told me I was "dead to him" and he never wants to see me again. I feel so guilty having betrayed him.

I'm not sure how to make amends with my son. Abby, can you help me? -- SAD MOM IN OHIO

DEAR MOM: Your son may have preferred his girlfriend be kept in the dark about his daughter, but if the girlfriend didn't have some strong suspicions, she would not have raised the subject with you. Frankly, I admire you for telling the truth and not going along with your son's deception. I'm not sure how you should "make amends" with your son. He is the one who should be making amends with you. His lack of character is lamentable.

DEAR ABBY: My wife has been out of work for four months. Last week she applied for a job at a loan office. During the interview, she learned it was a payday loan operation, and she would be expected to get people to sign up for loans they could not afford.

This goes against our principles. We have seen family members caught in payday loan schemes that buried them in debt, and we find the whole industry to be immoral and abhorrent.

My wife is currently receiving unemployment compensation. One of the rules of unemployment is, if a company offers you work, you must accept it. She said if she knew what the position entailed, she would not have applied. Now she is terrified she may be offered a position in a business she finds repugnant, but she may not be able to decline the offer. What can she do? Please answer fast! -- STUCK FOR AN ANSWER IN KANSAS CITY

DEAR STUCK FOR AN ANSWER: Your wife should contact the payday loan company and tell them she is not interested in the position before she gets an offer. That way, she won't be breaking any rules, and the company can hire a willing applicant.

DEAR ABBY: I have an issue regarding my 18-year-old son, "Jake." His father and I divorced several years ago -- amicably for the most part. Since then, and even before, Jake has had emotional problems.

My son makes up stories about himself. On one of his online social network sites he has been talking about a vehicle he doesn't own. He even invited a friend to go four-wheeling with him in his nonexistent vehicle. This is only one of many lies Jake has told. When I call him on it, he admits it but says it's "no big deal."

Abby, people believe what my son is telling them. What is going on, and what can I do? -- CARING PARENT, LITTLETON, COLO.

DEAR CARING PARENT: Your son may lie in order to impress others, or be so emotionally troubled that he can't tell the difference between what he fantasizes and what is real. I assume that because Jake has had emotional difficulties for some time that he has been under the care of a therapist. If so, contact the therapist and explain what's going on. If Jake doesn't have a therapist, find one. Perhaps an intervention will help Jake. If the lying persists, your son will become increasingly isolated as it gets out that no one can believe a word he says.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I'm the mother of two boys who are 12 and 13. The letter from "Terrified for My Niece in the Southwest" (Feb. 16) horrified me. The aunt who wrote the letter said her sister "bragged" about how popular her 14-year-old daughter is because she gives oral sex to the boys. Is this the kind of girl my sons are exposed to at school?

I know kids are curious and experiment at this age, but it's disturbing that the mother of this girl doesn't see that her actions are dangerous and can lead to more serious sexual situations. If she were my niece, I would speak up and let Mom know exactly how I felt in hopes that she would recognize how inappropriate her daughter's actions are. Pregnancy can become a harsh reality to a parent who was blind to the seriousness of her child's actions. -- YVETTE IN RANCHO SANTA MARGARITA, CALIF.

DEAR YVETTE: Thank you for writing. Many readers were equally disturbed by that letter, and a few even questioned its authenticity. I spoke to the aunt who wrote the letter. She verified that she had written it and everything she said was true. Perhaps the following responses will serve as a wake-up call for teens and parents:

DEAR ABBY: I have been a criminal investigator for more than 38 years and can state with certainty that having sex with Naomi is a felony in most, if not all, states, particularly if the boy is over the age of 16. At 14, this girl is not able to give consent. What is happening is considered an act of rape, even if it is voluntary on her part.

Someone needs to intervene now before some "innocent" boy gets charged with a crime. I've handled too many cases where boys have been charged with rape when the girl gets angry at him for almost no reason. The welfare of all the children is at stake! -- "SNOOPER" IN WISCONSIN

DEAR ABBY: This letter literally makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up when I think about a mother who would actually brag about something like this to family and do nothing about it. That mother is in desperate need of counseling, and Naomi is in desperate need of guidance because, obviously, she's not getting any from her mom. I wonder if her dad has any idea what's going on? -- A MOM IN GREAT FALLS, MONT.

DEAR ABBY: "Terrified's" niece is being sexually abused. It would be particularly egregious if her partners are 18 or older. For her mother to crow about her daughter's exploits makes her an unfit parent. "Terrified" needs to take a firm stand with her sister, and if she is ignored, the authorities should be contacted. -- MIKE IN NEW YORK

DEAR ABBY: This girl's mother is abdicating her responsibilities as a parent and indirectly condoning and encouraging her daughter's promiscuous behavior. The emotional damage could be irreparable. Naomi is being used and abused by any young man with whom she is involved. The aunt should talk to her sister and, if there is a father in the house, he needs to know about his daughter.

In my opinion, that mother wants her daughter to be popular for all the wrong reasons. Mom sounds like someone who sat on the sidelines in high school and never understood that what makes a person popular is the ability to carry on an intelligent conversation, get good grades, provide community service and so on. Pity! -- BARBARA IN KALAMAZOO, MICH.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)