DEAR ABBY: While standing in a checkout line yesterday, I witnessed a cashier speak to the older woman in front of me in a condescending manner. She kept calling her "Sweetie" and talking to her as if she were a 3-year-old. The woman was obviously offended, but said nothing.

I experienced this kind of behavior often when my mother was alive. Receptionists, waitresses, store clerks and others would direct their questions to me and talk to me while my mother stood there, perfectly capable of answering the questions herself. I'm sure these people did not intend to be rude or disrespectful. However, it was extremely annoying to both Mother and me.

Because a person is elderly does not mean he or she is senile. Regardless of their mental capacity, older people have earned the right to be treated with dignity and respect. -- OFFENDED IN KINGSPORT, TENN.

DEAR OFFENDED: I'm glad you wrote. I have seen it happen, too, and with people who should have known better. And when it did happen, the offender was sometimes called on it in a way that wasn't at all "sweet."

Readers, if this letter strikes a familiar chord, please remember that most senior citizens are completely in control of their faculties and treat them accordingly. (Or risk losing a customer.)

DEAR ABBY: At least two or three times a week, I receive requests for donations from various organizations. Many times the envelopes contain address labels, calendars and notepads. As much as I would like, I can't afford to donate to every cause. Is it wrong to use these "gifts" if I don't contribute? It's a shame to waste them -- especially the address labels. No one else can use them.

I'm sure I'm not the only person who struggles with this moral dilemma. I'd really like your input. -- FEELING GUILTY IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR FEELING GUILTY: The organizations that send those unsolicited mailings count on the recipients feeling so guilty that they'll send something. If using the unsolicited "gifts" makes you feel guilty, toss them or don't open the envelope in the first place.

Compile a list of those causes that you wish to give to, decide what amount you have to donate to all of them, divide the total and send your checks. And as you do, check them off your list to make sure you won't accidentally give twice because many (not all) organizations solicit more than once a year, hoping donors will forget they have given and send more.

DEAR ABBY: I am seeing a therapist for my depression. The problem is I find myself wanting to have sexual relations with him. I'm 23, and he's older than my father, who is 63! What's wrong with me? Obviously, I can't have an affair with my therapist, and I desperately do not want to change doctors. Please help. -- LOVESICK PATIENT IN MONTANA

DEAR LOVESICK: What's going on with you is very common. There is a name for it: transference. While this may be embarrassing to you, I assure you your therapist has heard it before. It's not necessary that you change doctors, but it is important that you be honest about your feelings. (Nobody ever said therapy was for the faint of heart!)

DEAR ABBY: I am a 17-year-old senior in high school. My boyfriend, "Kenny," is 18 and goes to college five hours away. I'd like to visit him over the weekend sometime, but I need my parents' permission. Mom is OK with it, as long as I take the train (she doesn't want me driving that distance alone) and I pay for it. Dad is old-fashioned. He dislikes the fact that Kenny and I would be unsupervised in his dorm for a whole weekend, even though Kenny has a roommate.

We've been together for a long time and have been unsupervised before, but Dad's still uneasy. He treats me like I'm younger than my age. I'm almost 18 and have traveled alone by plane. I'm respectful to my parents and feel I deserve Dad's trust.

Kenny and I love each other, but having a long-distance relationship is difficult since we hardly get to see each other. Dad likes and approves of Kenny, but thinks it's "unnecessary" for me to visit him since we call, Skype and text each other often. How can I get my father to see my point of view? -- GROWN-UP GIRL IN NORTHERN CALIFORNIA

DEAR GROWN-UP GIRL: You probably can't -- but your mother may be able to, which is why you should enlist her help in talking to your father for you. However, if that doesn't work, the alternative would be for Kenny to travel to visit you when he's able to get away for a weekend.

DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Dan," and I have been married for a year, but we dated for six years. He has been pressuring me to get pregnant.

I'm not ready to be a mom. I work and go to school. Every time we talk about having a baby, Dan becomes irate and yells that he'll divorce me for being selfish. I can never get my point across when I talk to him. I considered getting pregnant so he will shut up and leave me alone. I am so unhappy. He always puts his needs before mine.

I realize that married couples make sacrifices, but Dan isn't willing to. We have issues to work on, but he has made it clear that he isn't going to change. It's his way or the highway.

I still love Dan and would hate to fail as a wife, but what can I do? I knew Dan could be controlling, but I thought things would be better after we were married. I just turned 26 and I'm learning more about life. I can see that this was never a healthy relationship. But I have invested seven years of my life with this man. Please help! -- STANDING AROUND IN NEWARK, N.J.

DEAR STANDING AROUND: Staying married to someone because you have invested seven years is a poor reason to stay married. Seven more years and a baby (or more) will not improve your husband's controlling nature. If you think "my way or the highway" seems difficult now, imagine yourself on the highway with a child or two in tow.

You have serious decisions to make about your future. I agree that the relationship you have described is not healthy. How much more time do you plan to invest? Unless your husband realizes he needs help, he won't change. Please talk to a licensed counselor. You need more help than anyone can offer in an advice column.

TO MY IRISH READERS: A very happy St. Patrick's Day to you all. -- LOVE, ABBY

DEAR ABBY: I am 67 and my roommate is 62. He and I could be out dating every night of the week. We get calls here like it is a fraternity house. I think it's because we know how to treat women.

I hear other men our age complain they can't get a date or find the "right" woman. They say they are lonely, always being "used," etc. I tell them: Get a life! Think of someone besides yourself.

My buddy and I think in terms of what would please the lady. Other guys think a romantic date is grabbing a bite at a fast-food restaurant, renting a violent movie, or flopping at the woman's house and falling asleep after she's made him a home-cooked meal. I say: Learn to dance, get some new clothes, ask a woman what her interests are. I did it, and I've learned to enjoy art shows, plays, visiting flea markets, etc.

A lady once told me, "You don't need a woman. You are a great cook, and you iron better than I do." My answer to her was, "Those are not the things I need a lady for."

So, Abby, my advice to lonely old men is this: Get your act together! As Auntie Mame said, "Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death." -- HAVING A PEACH OF A TIME IN GEORGIA

DEAR HAVING A PEACH: Thank you for your enlightened philosophy. My crystal ball tells me that neither you nor your buddy will ever be starving for food at the banquet of life -- or attention and affection, either.

DEAR ABBY: What do you do when your future in-laws tell other relatives that they intend to ruin your upcoming wedding? They are upset because they were not included in the wedding party. My future mother-in-law let it be known she's dressing up like a hooker!

I have family members who are police officers coming to the wedding. The only idea I can come up with to prevent it is to ask them to guard the door of the church, and if need be, escort these unruly people out before they can raise a ruckus.

As you might have gathered, my fiance's parents don't want me to marry their son. -- ON THE VERGE OF A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN

DEAR ON THE VERGE: Take a deep breath and talk to your fiance about eloping. Once your in-laws accept the fact that the knot has already been tied, you can host a lovely reception. When the time comes, give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they'll behave themselves. Use the police only as a last resort, but if it comes to that, cross your fingers and hope your mother-in-law solicits one of them.

DEAR ABBY: At a cocktail party last night, the hostess handed me a glass of wine. When I started to take a sip, I noticed the glass was filthy. My immediate reaction was, "Alcohol kills germs." But the thought of putting the glass to my mouth was distasteful, so I told her the wine was "too sweet for my taste." She then handed me another glass of wine, and that one was as dirty as the first! How should I have handled it? -- NOT CRYSTAL CLEAR IN WISCONSIN

DEAR NOT CRYSTAL CLEAR: The first time it happened, you should have said, "Oops! This glass didn't make it through the dishwasher" and returned it to your hostess. When it happened again, you should have said, "... this one, too." Then you should have asked for something you could drink from the original container. Sensible person that you are, I'm sure you didn't partake of the hors d'oeuvres, and won't be partying there again. Right?