DEAR ABBY: My 9-year-old son's friend "Isaac" was over for a visit. He was captivated by our Labrador retriever, "Layla," who is very loving. Isaac doesn't have a dog, so he wanted to play with Layla. At one point, I overheard him say to my son, "Look, I'm riding your dog!" I immediately intervened, but I was too late.

A day or so later, Layla was unable to descend our stairway and was clearly in pain. She has been on pain medication for three weeks and is growing progressively worse. The next step is to get X-rays and/or an MRI to see if she has a spinal injury, and then determine her treatment. It's possible the damage is irreversible.

My wife and I are extremely upset about this, but we're afraid to tell our son or Isaac and his parents for fear it will place undue guilt on a 9-year-old boy. On the flip side, I wouldn't want him to do this to anyone else's beloved pet. How do you recommend we proceed? -- HEARTBROKEN IN NEW YORK

DEAR HEARTBROKEN: Children are not mind-readers. If you don't tell them when they make a mistake, they won't realize they have made one. Contact Isaac's parents and explain what happened. If your dog needs treatment, they should be responsible for whatever damage their son did.

DEAR ABBY: The other day I was with a friend who is a bit overweight. We were trying on clothes in one of the stores. She grabbed a shirt she was sure she could fit into, but when she tried it on, it ripped. She had to pay for it.

On the ride home my friend asked me, "Am I fat?" I was at a loss, so I told her no. What should I have done? I feel horrible for lying, but I didn't know what else to do. -- LOST FOR WORDS

DEAR LOST FOR WORDS: You could have replied, "What size was the shirt?" And when she answered, you should have said, "I guess you're a size or two larger." It would have been more tactful than saying she was fat, and gotten the point across.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I recently attended the funeral of a friend's father. During the sermon I noticed tears in our friend's eyes and offered her my handkerchief. On the way home, this sparked a conversation about the obligation of a person who receives a handkerchief. Should it be returned after the event, or should it first be laundered? Or is it considered a gift, not to be returned at all?

Later that evening at a movie, I noticed a woman hand someone her handkerchief saying, "It's monogrammed. It was my mother's." No mention was made of a request that it be returned. I'm sure most people wouldn't mind letting go of a standard handkerchief, but one with sentimental value would be different, wouldn't it? What do you suggest? -- REAL MEN CARRY HANDKERCHIEFS

DEAR REAL MAN: You were chivalrous to offer your handkerchief to the grieving daughter. Had it merely been used to dab away a tear, it could have been returned to you at the end of the service. If, however, there was makeup on it -- or the dab was followed by a swipe of her nose -- the woman should have held onto it, laundered it and returned it to you in the presumably pristine condition it was in when you gave it to her.

As to the monogrammed (heirloom) hanky you saw lent in the theater, when the woman explained its significance to her friend, that was the tip-off that she expected it to be returned.

DEAR ABBY: Like many other young adults, I was too busy establishing a career during my 20s and early 30s to care much about diet and exercise. I felt healthy, so I saw no need to change my lifestyle. My doctor had told me my blood pressure was elevated during a number of my yearly physical exams, but I didn't ask any questions and took no action.

Then one morning, I walked into my doctor's office complaining of a severe headache and nausea. I was sent to the hospital with a dangerously high blood pressure reading. After just a few tests, I was told I had chronic kidney disease (CKD).

Even though it can be silent and cause no symptoms, high blood pressure should not be ignored. It is a leading cause of kidney disease, and because I didn't pay attention, my kidneys began to shut down. Abby, please tell your readers who are at risk for chronic kidney disease (and that's anyone with high blood pressure, diabetes or a family history of CKD) to check how their kidneys are functioning. I found out -- too late -- how important it is. -- AZIZA M., NEW YORK CITY

DEAR AZIZA: Of course I will pass on your warning. According to the National Kidney Foundation, more than 26 million adults and thousands of American children have chronic kidney disease -- and most of them don't know they have it. In addition, millions of people who have diabetes, hypertension and other diseases are unaware that they too are at risk for developing it.

Readers, March 10 is World Kidney Day. The National Kidney Foundation (NKF) is offering free screenings during the month of March through the Kidney Early Evaluation Program in cities and towns around the country. With more than 50 local offices nationwide, the NKF provides early detection screenings and other vital patient and community services. To find a screening near you, visit www.kidney.org.

DEAR ABBY: One day, after dropping my son "Wyatt" off at day care, I looked back and saw an older kid push him and take away my son's toy. I was furious. What happened next restored my faith and softened my heart. A little girl walked over, handed Wyatt the toy she had been playing with and patted him on the head! I was very moved that someone so young understood compassion and was willing to give up something she enjoyed so my son wouldn't be upset.

Abby, please remind your readers that the littlest gesture can change someone's life. I'm glad I stopped to take another look at my son that day. I can't thank that little girl enough. -- THANKFUL FOR LITTLE ONES, LEMAY, MO.

DEAR THANKFUL: I'm glad you stopped for that second look, too. You are absolutely right that the smallest gesture can change someone's life -- and that statement applies to people of every age and from every walk of life. There are angels among us, and you saw one of the littlest.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: In our family, pets are irreplaceable, full-fledged, beloved members. One of them was a beautiful, very affectionate cat we had rescued as an abandoned kitten. Tragically, he didn't make it through an operation we hoped would save his life. His death was a needless accident, and we are writing this in the hope that you will print it to warn other readers so no other animals will die in a similar fashion.

On the day before he died, he suddenly stopped eating and drinking. He became lethargic and vomited several times. Our vet diagnosed him with a bowel obstruction. Apparently, he had eaten a piece of a palm from Palm Sunday. Unable to pass through his system, it had perforated his bowel. The damage was too extensive to fix.

The vet later told us about many other items he had removed throughout his experience: Q-tips, cotton balls, coins, twist ties, string, buttons, Easter grass, Christmas tree icicles, etc. Abby, please warn your readers to pick up anything that's small enough for a pet to put in its mouth, and to keep anything a pet might be tempted to taste out of reach. If you do, perhaps our precious kitty's death will not have been in vain. -- IN MOURNING IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR IN MOURNING: I'm sorry about the untimely loss of your adored pet. I, too, hope your letter will alert pet owners -- as well as parents and caregivers of small children.

DEAR ABBY: Do dreams have a meaning? I have the same disturbing dream over and over again. It happens often. The scenario is the same, but the place in the dream varies. I wake up feeling anxious and can't fall back to sleep.

Do you have any advice or suggestion on what I can do about this? You have helped many people; can you help me? -- SLEEPLESS IN KANSAS CITY

DEAR SLEEPLESS: Some dreams have a "meaning" -- others do not. Your dream may be an attempt by your subconscious to work through something in your life that you haven't been able to resolve consciously, which is why the dream is recurring.

However, it's important that you understand that dreams usually aren't literal. An example would be a person who dreams he or she is naked in a public place. It could be caused by fear of "exposure" of some secret, or wish fulfillment having completed a successful diet and exercise program. Because the dream is causing sleeplessness and anxiety, it may help to discuss it with a psychologist. Just talking about it may help the problem go away.

DEAR ABBY: Our group has a problem. One of the women takes out her dental floss and uses it at the table regardless of where we are -- a restaurant, banquet, anyplace. We have all asked her please not to, but she's the type who, if you tell her she's wrong, insists she's always right. According to her, flossing one's teeth at the table is acceptable.

She's in her 60s and she's a representative for our AARP group, which means she attends a great many functions. There has been a lot of talk about this, and it has made a lot of people uncomfortable.

She reads your column as we all do. So please address this subject. Thank you. -- GROSSED OUT IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR GROSSED OUT: With pleasure! Flossing one's teeth should be done in private, in the powder room. Under no circumstances is it proper to do it at the dinner table. For her to insist upon doing it in spite of being told it makes others uncomfortable is extremely rude, so tell her to chew on that!