life

Kidney Disease Is Price Paid for Neglected Blood Pressure

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | March 7th, 2011 | Letter 1 of 2

DEAR ABBY: Like many other young adults, I was too busy establishing a career during my 20s and early 30s to care much about diet and exercise. I felt healthy, so I saw no need to change my lifestyle. My doctor had told me my blood pressure was elevated during a number of my yearly physical exams, but I didn't ask any questions and took no action.

Then one morning, I walked into my doctor's office complaining of a severe headache and nausea. I was sent to the hospital with a dangerously high blood pressure reading. After just a few tests, I was told I had chronic kidney disease (CKD).

Even though it can be silent and cause no symptoms, high blood pressure should not be ignored. It is a leading cause of kidney disease, and because I didn't pay attention, my kidneys began to shut down. Abby, please tell your readers who are at risk for chronic kidney disease (and that's anyone with high blood pressure, diabetes or a family history of CKD) to check how their kidneys are functioning. I found out -- too late -- how important it is. -- AZIZA M., NEW YORK CITY

DEAR AZIZA: Of course I will pass on your warning. According to the National Kidney Foundation, more than 26 million adults and thousands of American children have chronic kidney disease -- and most of them don't know they have it. In addition, millions of people who have diabetes, hypertension and other diseases are unaware that they too are at risk for developing it.

Readers, March 10 is World Kidney Day. The National Kidney Foundation (NKF) is offering free screenings during the month of March through the Kidney Early Evaluation Program in cities and towns around the country. With more than 50 local offices nationwide, the NKF provides early detection screenings and other vital patient and community services. To find a screening near you, visit www.kidney.org.

life

Dear Abby for March 07, 2011

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | March 7th, 2011 | Letter 2 of 2

DEAR ABBY: One day, after dropping my son "Wyatt" off at day care, I looked back and saw an older kid push him and take away my son's toy. I was furious. What happened next restored my faith and softened my heart. A little girl walked over, handed Wyatt the toy she had been playing with and patted him on the head! I was very moved that someone so young understood compassion and was willing to give up something she enjoyed so my son wouldn't be upset.

Abby, please remind your readers that the littlest gesture can change someone's life. I'm glad I stopped to take another look at my son that day. I can't thank that little girl enough. -- THANKFUL FOR LITTLE ONES, LEMAY, MO.

DEAR THANKFUL: I'm glad you stopped for that second look, too. You are absolutely right that the smallest gesture can change someone's life -- and that statement applies to people of every age and from every walk of life. There are angels among us, and you saw one of the littlest.

life

Tasty Temptations Can Be Deadly to Pets and Kids

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | March 6th, 2011 | Letter 1 of 3

DEAR ABBY: In our family, pets are irreplaceable, full-fledged, beloved members. One of them was a beautiful, very affectionate cat we had rescued as an abandoned kitten. Tragically, he didn't make it through an operation we hoped would save his life. His death was a needless accident, and we are writing this in the hope that you will print it to warn other readers so no other animals will die in a similar fashion.

On the day before he died, he suddenly stopped eating and drinking. He became lethargic and vomited several times. Our vet diagnosed him with a bowel obstruction. Apparently, he had eaten a piece of a palm from Palm Sunday. Unable to pass through his system, it had perforated his bowel. The damage was too extensive to fix.

The vet later told us about many other items he had removed throughout his experience: Q-tips, cotton balls, coins, twist ties, string, buttons, Easter grass, Christmas tree icicles, etc. Abby, please warn your readers to pick up anything that's small enough for a pet to put in its mouth, and to keep anything a pet might be tempted to taste out of reach. If you do, perhaps our precious kitty's death will not have been in vain. -- IN MOURNING IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR IN MOURNING: I'm sorry about the untimely loss of your adored pet. I, too, hope your letter will alert pet owners -- as well as parents and caregivers of small children.

life

Dear Abby for March 06, 2011

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | March 6th, 2011 | Letter 2 of 3

DEAR ABBY: Do dreams have a meaning? I have the same disturbing dream over and over again. It happens often. The scenario is the same, but the place in the dream varies. I wake up feeling anxious and can't fall back to sleep.

Do you have any advice or suggestion on what I can do about this? You have helped many people; can you help me? -- SLEEPLESS IN KANSAS CITY

DEAR SLEEPLESS: Some dreams have a "meaning" -- others do not. Your dream may be an attempt by your subconscious to work through something in your life that you haven't been able to resolve consciously, which is why the dream is recurring.

However, it's important that you understand that dreams usually aren't literal. An example would be a person who dreams he or she is naked in a public place. It could be caused by fear of "exposure" of some secret, or wish fulfillment having completed a successful diet and exercise program. Because the dream is causing sleeplessness and anxiety, it may help to discuss it with a psychologist. Just talking about it may help the problem go away.

life

Dear Abby for March 06, 2011

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | March 6th, 2011 | Letter 3 of 3

DEAR ABBY: Our group has a problem. One of the women takes out her dental floss and uses it at the table regardless of where we are -- a restaurant, banquet, anyplace. We have all asked her please not to, but she's the type who, if you tell her she's wrong, insists she's always right. According to her, flossing one's teeth at the table is acceptable.

She's in her 60s and she's a representative for our AARP group, which means she attends a great many functions. There has been a lot of talk about this, and it has made a lot of people uncomfortable.

She reads your column as we all do. So please address this subject. Thank you. -- GROSSED OUT IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR GROSSED OUT: With pleasure! Flossing one's teeth should be done in private, in the powder room. Under no circumstances is it proper to do it at the dinner table. For her to insist upon doing it in spite of being told it makes others uncomfortable is extremely rude, so tell her to chew on that!

life

Girl's Phlegmatic Fits Dampen Enjoyment for Theatergoers

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | March 5th, 2011 | Letter 1 of 4

DEAR ABBY: I recently attended a play with my mother and daughter. We were looking forward to an evening together. After we were seated, a young girl and her mother came and sat directly behind us. The girl was sick and she coughed -- hacked, really -- throughout the entire performance. Not only was it disturbing, but the coughing was so loud we missed a lot of the dialogue.

Those tickets were not cheap and we did not enjoy the play as much as we could have. What would have been the proper way to handle that situation? -- ANNOYED THEATERGOER IN CHICAGO

DEAR ANNOYED: Unless the house was sold out, you should have spoken to an usher or the theater manager and asked to be seated elsewhere. And if you were concerned about catching something, you should have asked to exchange the tickets for another performance and left.

life

Dear Abby for March 05, 2011

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | March 5th, 2011 | Letter 2 of 4

DEAR ABBY: I have an ex-boyfriend with whom I have remained friends since we broke up two years ago. We see each other a few times a year, but I haven't seen him in six months.

Last Christmas, as a gift, I bought him a bottle of wine I know he enjoys. I have mentioned several times that we should get together so I can give it to him, but he is making no effort to hang out.

At what point do I put the bottle to better use and drink it myself? -- MIKE IN ST. PAUL

DEAR MIKE: How about tonight? And be sure to share it with someone who will appreciate your company as well as the wine.

life

Dear Abby for March 05, 2011

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | March 5th, 2011 | Letter 3 of 4

DEAR ABBY: I am the mother of a beautiful daughter who has never met her real father. I wasn't sure about who he was, a fact I'm not proud of. I tried to convince myself that her dad was the one guy I really liked at the time, but as she has grown older, many of her mannerisms and little habits reflect characteristics of the other guy ("Bobby") who was also in my life then. I parted ways with both men while I was pregnant.

I am currently married, although we are struggling. I am now questioning whether I should try to locate Bobby to see if he is the father. I don't expect anything from him, but I would like a resolution. This could strain my relationship with my husband, but if Bobby is the father, I strongly feel he has a right to know. Please help me figure out what to do. -- UNSURE IN ILLINOIS

DEAR UNSURE: Because you are willing to risk straining the relationship you have with your current husband, explain to him that you need to be sure of the identity of your daughter's father because the man's medical history could one day be important for her to have. It's the truth.

Then contact both men you were seeing at the time of her conception, explain the situation, and request a DNA test. If you let them know that you don't expect anything from them but their medical history, they may be willing to comply -- and you'll have your answer.

life

Dear Abby for March 05, 2011

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | March 5th, 2011 | Letter 4 of 4

DEAR ABBY: I am the mother of a beautiful daughter who has never met her real father. I wasn't sure about who he was, a fact I'm not proud of. I tried to convince myself that her dad was the one guy I really liked at the time, but as she has grown older, many of her mannerisms and little habits reflect characteristics of the other guy ("Bobby") who was also in my life then. I parted ways with both men while I was pregnant.

I am currently married, although we are struggling. I am now questioning whether I should try to locate Bobby to see if he is the father. I don't expect anything from him, but I would like a resolution. This could strain my relationship with my husband, but if Bobby is the father, I strongly feel he has a right to know. Please help me figure out what to do. -- UNSURE IN ILLINOIS

DEAR UNSURE: Because you are willing to risk straining the relationship you have with your current husband, explain to him that you need to be sure of the identity of your daughter's father because the man's medical history could one day be important for her to have. It's the truth.

Then contact both men you were seeing at the time of her conception, explain the situation, and request a DNA test. If you let them know that you don't expect anything from them but their medical history, they may be willing to comply -- and you'll have your answer.

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