DEAR ABBY: After 33 years, I recently reconnected with my first girlfriend. We are both 49. I have been married twice, and she is ending a long relationship.

We have been talking and e-mailing, and she came to visit for a few days -- no sex, just laughing and reminiscing about how we've grown since we were 16. It seems we have spent years looking for each other in different people. But now we want to be together for the rest of our lives. This may sound ridiculous, but we both know it's true. Abby, is there such a thing as true love? -- NEW JERSEY LOVER

DEAR NEW JERSEY LOVER: Yes, there is. And it appears that after years of traveling down separate paths, you and your lady have finally found it. It's not "ridiculous," and it has happened to many other couples.

DEAR ABBY: Five years ago, my daughter's mother left me. She has moved on and remarried a year ago. I haven't had a date in four years. I fell into a depression that is now affecting my relationship with my daughter. It's hard to spend time with her without feeling low.

I lost my job, my driver's license, my self-worth. I know I need to talk to a doctor, but lack of money puts me in a tough spot. As for family members, they are busy with their own problems. Please help. -- DISCOURAGED DAD IN INDIANA

DEAR DISCOURAGED: If you can't afford to see a doctor, then seek help from your county mental health agency or from a clergyperson. Many of them are trained to counsel those with personal problems -- and if you need more help than your spiritual adviser can offer, there may be someone in the congregation who can provide what you need.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have different opinions about TV watching when we have guests. I was always taught that unless guests were specifically invited to watch something on TV, it is impolite to have it on. Having the TV on in the background is a distraction to the visit. What do you think? -- TURNED OFF IN SALINAS, CALIF.

DEAR TURNED OFF: It's rude to turn a television set on in the presence of guests because it sends the message that their company is boring. If a set is on when guests arrive and the host switches it off, it conveys that the guest's company is more important than anything that's being aired. And that's an unspoken compliment that also sends a message.

DEAR READERS: It's Valentine's Day, a day guaranteed to bring joy to lovers and often a mild depression to singles who are not romantically involved. If this could be you, try this home remedy to raise your spirits:

Be a sweetheart and clean out your closets. Take any items you no longer wear (or can't fit into) and donate them so someone else can enjoy them. Call your friends and say "I love you." Bring flowers to someone in a nursing home. Offer to run an errand for someone who doesn't drive.

Donate blood; pay someone a compliment; listen to your teenager; pray for your friends; or invite a lonely acquaintance -- male or female -- to join you for lunch. Obey the traffic laws. Do something nice for someone anonymously. And, before the day is over, resolve to be a "sweetheart" more often than just today.

DEAR ABBY: A friend told me something recently that was so disturbing I'm having trouble sleeping.

"Marie" was at a mini-mall when a man parked his car next to hers and walked into one of the stores, leaving a boy about 8 years old in the back seat with a cat. Marie saw the boy abuse and torture the animal. She said she could hear the cat howling through the closed vehicle. When the man returned to the car, my friend approached him and told him what she'd seen.

Abby, the man did not say one word. He climbed into his car and drove off. I haven't been able to get the image out of my head. That child learned his behavior somewhere, and his father condones it! If Marie hadn't been so shocked, she would have scribbled down the man's license number and reported the incident to the police or the SPCA. -- HORRIFIED IN WISCONSIN

DEAR HORRIFIED: What your friend witnessed was a child in dire need of emotional help, and a parent with his head in the sand. Emotionally healthy children do not abuse animals. For the father to have ignored what your friend told him is very sad. Of most concern to me is the fact that children who abuse animals become increasingly aggressive, and sometimes go on to abuse other children. I hope the father reads my column and recognizes the fact that this son desperately needs counseling now!

DEAR ABBY: I just turned 28. I have a full-time job and am also pursuing a career as an actress, which takes up a lot of my spare time. I have good friends and I'm a people person. I'm attractive, have a good personality and consider myself to be intelligent.

I'm pretty good at putting myself out there. I talk to guys I see in the grocery store, in my office building, anywhere I can. I try to smile at everyone when I'm out and about. I ask friends to set me up, but haven't met any nice single men who are interested in dating. Almost all my close friends are married or in long-term relationships. At parties it's usually a bunch of couples and me. I feel like the token single friend.

I have a busy life, and the theater hasn't exactly been a great place to meet straight guys, but where is a good place? I have tried speed dating, online dating, bar-hopping and singles events to no avail. Why can't I find a nice guy who's ready for a real relationship? I'm starting to lose hope. -- LOOKING FOR LOVE IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR LOOKING: Please don't lose hope. But let's review the venues in which you have been searching. I'm struck by the fact that all of those you mentioned require you to make a "quick sale."

With speed dating you establish that you're both available and there's a superficial attraction, but not much else. Bars are the worst places I can think of to look for a serious relationship. No one's at their best after downing a couple of shots, and the noise level isn't conducive to meaningful conversation. The Internet has been known to bring results, but many people -- of both sexes -- are wary because so many users fudge the facts on dating sites.

Singles events are better, but you might have more luck meeting men if you go places that nice people go, where there's less pressure. How about volunteering some time in your community -- the library, a hospital, the police department, a shelter? I recommend places like these because they offer the chance to form relationships with more depth. Even if you don't find Mr. Right, you may meet someone who can introduce you to someone eligible.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 17-year-old girl who is obsessed with remaining a virgin. I'm uncomfortable around guys my age for fear they will want sex.

I am tormented all day long by thoughts of losing my virginity. If I see a mildly racy scene in a movie or have a sexual thought and experience some sort of physiological reaction, I become extremely upset. I must repeatedly reassure myself that any arousal was not deliberate.

I'm sick of feeling so anxious over this stuff. I sometimes wish I didn't know about sex at all. What can I do? -- EMBARRASSED IN NEW YORK

DEAR EMBARRASSED: Stop beating yourself up for having normal feelings for someone your age. As young women (and men) mature, sexual feelings happen. They are not shameful, and experiencing them does not mean they must be acted upon.

The more you tell yourself not to think about something, the more you will. (I feel similarly about chocolate.) One way to deal with obsessive thoughts is to divert the thought into an action that is acceptable. In your case, becoming involved in sports might rechannel some of your sexual energy. The key is to stay busy. But if your obsessive thoughts persist, they should be discussed with a licensed mental health professional.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter-in-law is driving us crazy. She is constantly on her cell phone with Facebook, e-mail or playing games when she's at our home. Her sons (3 and 7) were fighting last week and she didn't even raise her head to break it up. She just repeated in a monotone, "Stop," because she didn't want to break her concentration!

What I don't understand is, she's a teacher. How would she feel if her whole class tweeted, e-mailed and played games during her lessons? If I say anything about her using the phone at our dinner table, she makes a face and later tells my son I'm rude. -- HAD THE INTERNET UP TO HERE!

DEAR HAD THE INTERNET!: The Internet has many virtues. It provides information and diversion -- but it can also be addictive. From your description of your daughter-in-law, it appears she has become hooked. That she would fail to intervene when her children misbehave sends a strong message.

You should detail your concerns to your son because they are valid. Not only is your daughter-in-law's behavior rude and a poor example, but the children are being neglected. The Internet is not the problem. The problem is her fixation on it.

DEAR ABBY: After entertaining family and friends with BBQ holiday dinners, which includes purchasing all the food and beverages, must I send guests home with leftovers? Over the years, it has been "expected" that I'd give them a take-home dinner at my expense. What's right -- pack the leftovers for my own personal use or divide them up for guests? -- LEFT HOLDING THE BAG

DEAR LEFT HOLDING THE BAG: People "expect" you to send the leftovers with them because that's the pattern you set all these years. Because you now prefer to keep them for your personal use, pare down the menu and prepare less food. You might also clean up earlier and put the excess food away -- out of sight, out of mind. If you are questioned, deal with it by pointing out that in this economy everyone needs to cut back -- and while in the past you sent food home with your guests, for the foreseeable future "charity" begins at home. Your home.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $12 (U.S. funds)