DEAR ABBY: How long should I hold onto greeting cards from family and friends who send them on my birthday and holidays? I feel guilty throwing away something that someone spent time and money on for me, but they're doing nothing more than taking up space in a drawer. -- CLUTTERED WITH CARDS IN CONNECTICUT

DEAR CLUTTERED: Don't feel guilty. Contact a children's hospital, nursery school, nursing home or senior center and ask whether they would like the greeting cards to use for craft projects. However, be sure to cut off identifying names and addresses before you donate them. Alternatively, consider taking them to a recycling center.

DEAR ABBY: I have employed the same cleaning lady every week for nearly 20 years. She worked for my grandparents before me. "Dora" is 70 and shows no hint of retiring. In fact, she tells me from time to time she has no intention of ever stopping.

Although I admire Dora's spunk, the truth is she is becoming increasingly careless in her work. I often come home to find something broken, knocked over or spilled. I can see she has trouble managing the stairs and carrying the vacuum cleaner. I know she needs the income and I can't imagine letting her go. What can I do? -- HOUSEBROKEN IN BUFFALO

DEAR HOUSEBROKEN: Point out the broken, spilled or knocked-over items and ask Dora what happened. Then offer to schedule her for an eye exam if she can't afford one herself. She may be breaking and spilling things because she has a vision problem that is correctible.

If that doesn't resolve the problem, I have another suggestion. Have Dora come to you every other week, and hire a cleaning crew to fill in and do the "heavy lifting" in the week she's not there. That way, Dora will have her dignity, a lighter load to carry and some income. And you'll have a house that's spick-and-span, and no guilty conscience.

DEAR ABBY: Two years ago, my boyfriend, "Dwight," and I set a date for our wedding. He wanted to be married on his birthday. We happily announced the date to all our family and friends.

Six months ago, Dwight informed me that his divorce is taking longer than expected and the wedding date would have to be changed. I was very upset. I refused to set another one until after his divorce is final.

Now as the original date approaches, Dwight is mentioning things he'd like to do on his birthday. Abby, it was supposed to be my wedding day! I do not want to go to an action-adventure movie that day. I don't know what to do with all the feelings of sadness associated with that missed date. Am I being childish? Should I just celebrate his birthday the way he wants? -- DEPRESSED IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR DEPRESSED: Your sadness may be less about depression than anger -- turned inward. While I sympathize with your disappointment, you need to accept that when you date a man who is still married, this goes with the territory.

Because you are close enough that you had set a wedding date, you should also be close enough to discuss your feelings. It is understandable that you don't feel like celebrating this birthday, and intelligent of you not to set another date until he is actually free to marry you. Do nothing that makes you uncomfortable.

DEAR ABBY: May I make a plea to all physicians? Please remove the magazines and children's books from your waiting rooms! Again and again, I see patients sneezing and coughing over and around these materials without covering their mouths, and handling them with contaminated hands.

The next patient who innocently touches one of those items puts him or herself at risk of infection. The same applies to children's toys, if they are provided in waiting rooms.

My advice to patients, and to parents of children with appointments, is to bring their own reading materials, iPads, laptops or needlework to pass the time waiting for their doctor's appointment. Parents should bring a favorite toy for this purpose.

Let's all work together to keep our germs to ourselves. Thank you for getting the word out, Abby. -- EDYTHE IN TENNESSEE

DEAR EDYTHE: That's excellent advice, and something people rarely think of. Children frequently put their hands in their mouths -- and adults who touch the furniture and doorknobs in doctor's offices should wash their hands before touching their faces. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure -- and it's less expensive!

DEAR ABBY: Your columns about the kindness of strangers impel me to relate a recent experience. As an 80-year-old retired general contractor, I stay busy by making custom furniture. Recently, I picked up a full load of hardwood planks.

Because some of the pieces were very long, I had to keep the tailgate of my pickup truck down. All went well until I reached the first stop sign. When I started to pull away, my truck went forward, but the load stayed put! Halfway across the busy intersection with traffic going all directions, I panicked. I knew I couldn't lift those 46 planks by myself.

Out of nowhere, two gentlemen rushed through the traffic, and without a word, began loading the planks, two at a time, into my truck. When they were all loaded, I offered each young man my heartfelt thanks. My proffered reward was brushed aside with a short, "That's not necessary. Have a good day!" People are great in Southern California. -- GRATEFUL IN GARDEN GROVE, CALIF.

DEAR GRATEFUL: Actually, people are great all over. But as another resident of Southern California, I second the motion.

DEAR ABBY: I would like to offer a word of hope for all those hurting grandmothers whose sons' wives have been unkind or ignored them. Have patience! Someday those very same daughters-in-law will be mothers-in-law. In my case, my grandson married a girl just like his mother. Now my daughter-in-law is a grandma, too, and she's getting the same kind of treatment she gave me. Of course, I say nothing -- but I smile a lot.

Please don't print my name or town. Sign me ... SMILING IN ILLINOIS

DEAR SMILING: Yours may be a knowing smile, but it proves the truth of that old song lyric, "When you're smiling, the whole world smiles with you." Your letter is a reminder of how often events come full circle with unexpected results.

DEAR ABBY: My older brother "Mike" was married several months ago. The family was informed after the fact. Mike and his bride, "Sophie," didn't elope. They had planned their church wedding for the better part of a year, and decided to include only a small group of friends while completely excluding the family. Naturally, this has caused hurt feelings. As far as I'm concerned, I have lost a sibling rather than gained one.

Mike and Sophie are now throwing themselves a party in their honor to celebrate their union. My mother not only wants me to attend, but expects me to give them a gift as well. Mom says he is "family" and therefore I am obligated to give a gift. I say I wasn't invited to their wedding so I'm under no obligation to give one. I have no desire to reward someone who thinks so little of me. What do you say? -- LEFT OUT SIBLING IN WISCONSIN

DEAR LEFT OUT SIBLING: If you haven't already done so, tell your brother how hurt you feel to have not been invited to his wedding, then listen to what he has to say. Give him a chance to mend fences. If that doesn't happen, then skip the celebration. But remember that if you don't attend, the rift that has been created may never be healed.

DEAR ABBY: I am a high school senior who is worried about leaving my older sister. "Jamie" is 10 years older and moved back home with my parents and me after she finished college. She takes medication because of her anxiety and stays in her room most of the time.

In the six years that Jamie has lived here she has made no friends or acquaintances. I believe I'm the only person she has a relationship with other than her therapist. As I spend more time on schoolwork and projects and less time with her, she feels ignored and becomes desperate to spend time with me. I feel I'm her only link to the outside world. I'm worried that when I move away she'll lose that connection and not make any attempts to find a relationship or a job.

I care deeply about Jamie, but I want to go to college. How can I help her to get moving? -- MY SISTER'S KEEPER IN ILLINOIS

DEAR SISTER'S KEEPER: I can think of two ways. The first is to not allow your sister's mental disorder -- because that is what you are describing -- to keep you from going to college and having a life. Your sister has your parents, so she won't be all alone. The second is to write a letter to her therapist explaining your concerns. If anyone can help your sister, it is her therapist.

DEAR ABBY: I have a friend from school who is very close to me. I only get to see her at lunch at school. We have managed to keep our friendship going through e-mails and sleepovers.

However, she is often not available for sleepovers, and when she is, she must always leave at 12 a.m.! I know it's not just me because other friends of hers have said this, too. Once I asked her why she had to leave so early and she said it was her mom.

Why do you think her mom is so adamant about early endings? -- WONDERING IN ATLANTA

DEAR WONDERING: It's probably because your friend's curfew ends at midnight or a little after, and her mother hasn't given her permission to attend all-night sleepovers. But if you want to be sure -- have your mother ask her mother.