DEAR ABBY: My older brother "Mike" was married several months ago. The family was informed after the fact. Mike and his bride, "Sophie," didn't elope. They had planned their church wedding for the better part of a year, and decided to include only a small group of friends while completely excluding the family. Naturally, this has caused hurt feelings. As far as I'm concerned, I have lost a sibling rather than gained one.
Mike and Sophie are now throwing themselves a party in their honor to celebrate their union. My mother not only wants me to attend, but expects me to give them a gift as well. Mom says he is "family" and therefore I am obligated to give a gift. I say I wasn't invited to their wedding so I'm under no obligation to give one. I have no desire to reward someone who thinks so little of me. What do you say? -- LEFT OUT SIBLING IN WISCONSIN
DEAR LEFT OUT SIBLING: If you haven't already done so, tell your brother how hurt you feel to have not been invited to his wedding, then listen to what he has to say. Give him a chance to mend fences. If that doesn't happen, then skip the celebration. But remember that if you don't attend, the rift that has been created may never be healed.