DEAR ABBY: I am a 60-year-old man with three children. I'm in excellent health and have been happily married for 39 years.

I have a woman friend at work who is 28. We talk a lot, and I buy her chocolate once a week. I have never tried to see her outside of work and don't intend to, but I like her very much.

Is there something wrong with me that I like her so much? I think about her constantly. She says it's no problem. I am so fond of her it drives me crazy. I have no bad intentions toward her, and I'm not looking for an affair. She is just such a sweet young lady.

Is it normal to feel like this? Do you think I should try to forget about her? -- BLUSHING IN SCHAUMBURG, ILL.

DEAR BLUSHING: It has been my experience that the more a person tries not to think about something, the more he or she does. Please understand that you are in the throes of an old-fashioned crush. Accept it for what it is; enjoy it while it lasts. The intensity will lessen eventually.

P.S. If you stop buying her chocolate and quit feeling so guilty, you will hasten the process.

DEAR ABBY: I am a young mother in my early 20s with two young children and another on the way. I have been married to my high school sweetheart for three years. We have been together since we were young teenagers. Both of us come from single-parent families, and our marriage has been less than perfect.

I work a full-time swing shift. My husband works only a part-time swing shift job. I have asked him to take on another part-time job so we can be more comfortable financially, but he refuses. He says if I want more money in the household, I will have to get a second job.

If it wasn't for our families' free baby-sitting, I don't know how we could afford child care. We have no money in the bank, and we are deep in debt. I feel overwhelmed with too much responsibility and don't know what to do about it. -- ANONYMOUS MOTHER IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR ANONYMOUS: Start by telling your husband that with a third child on the way, you are in no position to take on another job -- but he is. If he refuses -- and he very well may -- then you will need to think seriously about your and your children's future, and to what degree it includes him. And please, until you are financially stable, hold off on having more children.

DEAR ABBY: My girlfriend is Jewish; I am not. Her mother recently found out that I am not circumcised. She has been putting pressure on me to get "snipped." Circumcision at my age would hurt a lot. I am not sure what I should do. What do you suggest? -- DOESN'T LIKE PAIN

DEAR DOESN'T LIKE PAIN: If you are seriously considering converting to Judaism, then you should discuss your concerns with a rabbi. If not, it's time to inform your girlfriend's mother that there are certain subjects you feel are none of her beeswax -- and that part of your anatomy is first on your list.

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DEAR ABBY: About a month ago, my friend lost her keys in a major department store. Despite announcements in the store, the keys were never found. My friend wasn't worried because she had her wallet and personal information in her purse.

Two weeks later, her home was robbed. There was no sign of forced entry. What we learned from the police is that the little tags we carry on our key chains from major pharmacy and supermarket chains carry our names on the receipts. All the person who found the keys had to do was purchase something, swipe the card, and the receipt came up with my friend's name printed on it! Unfortunately, her name is listed in the phone book, so the thief was able to find her house, use her house key, walk right in and take whatever he/she wanted.

I no longer keep the tags on my key chain. I keep them in a separate place in my purse or in my pocket. I hope this keeps at least one person from being robbed. -- KAREN IN METHUEN, MASS.

DEAR KAREN: So do I, and thank you for the warning. For those who prefer not to carry those little tags at all, many are linked with the shopper's telephone number in the pharmacy's or supermarket's computer. If you mention it before the cashier starts ringing up your purchase, the sale can be rung up as part of the saver's program. Inquire at the stores where you shop regularly.

DEAR ABBY: Five years ago, when my niece was 9, we came up with the idea of making Christmas cards and sending them out to special friends and family members. We both work hard to make sure each is attractive and in good taste, and we handwrite a personal note inside. We also print on the back that the card was "handmade with love." This has become a tradition for the two of us, and the cards are quite beautiful.

Last year, after we sent them out, I received a card from a friend with a small check inside. The card read, "I'm sending you this check so you can afford to buy 'real cards' next year." I was, to say the least, hurt and offended. I wondered if others felt similarly, so I asked around and was shocked to learn they, too, thought I was "cheap." Although it cost more money and time to create each card, no one appreciated them.

We won't be making the cards this year, but how do I tell my niece why? I don't want her feelings hurt, too. -- BLUE AT CHRISTMAS

DEAR BLUE: Tell your niece what you were told -- and by whom -- so she won't waste any more effort on these rude and unappreciative individuals. Better she hear it from you than one of the recipients.

As to the "friend" who sent the check, I hope you returned it and deleted her from your Christmas card list. What she did was uncalled for.

DEAR ABBY: I am 13 and I have a problem. My mother gave me $20 so I could go Christmas shopping, but I forgot I was Christmas shopping and ended up buying everything for myself. Now what do I do, because she's really mad. -- IN TROUBLE IN MICHIGAN

DEAR IN TROUBLE: Apologize to your mother, admit what happened wasn't a memory lapse as much as yielding to temptation, and start doing whatever you can to earn more money. Some suggestions: shoveling sidewalks and driveways and dog walking, if the neighbors will let you.

DEAR ABBY: I would like to say something to my mother, but the truth is I don't know who my biological mother is. I was adopted when I was a baby. I have looked for her online over the years, but have yet to find her. I have asked myself many times what I'd say to her if I met her. Because I know it may never happen, I'm asking you to print my message:

"Mama, I don't know the circumstances of my birth, and I don't really care. All I know is that two loving parents adopted me and helped to shape me into the person I am. Today I am a successful professional with a loving spouse and wonderful children, to whom I try to give the best. I imagine that is what you wanted to do for me. Therefore, I have decided that I don't really need to find you and say, 'Thank you. You made a good choice. I am doing fine and I love you.'" -- HER THANKFUL SON

DEAR THANKFUL SON: I hope one day your birth mother will be fortunate enough to meet you and you can say those words to her in person. One of the most difficult decisions a mother can make, but one of the most loving, is to place a child for adoption when she is unable to provide a stable upbringing for her baby. Most birth mothers long for a reunion. And for them, as well as for you, I am printing your letter.

DEAR ABBY: I am a semi-retired professional man. My wife and I have an ongoing disagreement and would like the benefit or your wisdom. I was raised that when a man enters a house or a place of business, especially a restaurant, he should remove his hat. It annoys me to see young men sit in a restaurant wearing baseball caps, cowboys hats or even stocking caps.

My wife says times have changed -- recent generations were not raised the same way and I should just get over it. I say there is no right or wrong age for common etiquette. I can overlook this behavior in a fast-food restaurant, but I also see it happening in nice establishments. I believe that restaurant managers should ask men to remove their hats. If they refuse, at least they will have been told it is unacceptable behavior. Should I follow my wife's advice, or do I have a valid gripe? -- TONY IN FLORIDA

DEAR TONY: Some restaurants still insist that their patrons adhere to a strict dress code -- but fewer of them do than in decades ago. In recent years the rigid rules regarding the wearing of hats have relaxed -- in part, I suspect because of aging baby boomers who use baseball caps to camouflage their bald spots.

However, according to Emily Post, you do have a valid gripe. She says there are times when wearing a hat is appropriate, and times when it isn't. According to her, a man should remove his hat (and this includes baseball caps) upon entering a home, when indoors at work (especially in an office), at mealtime at the table, in restaurants and coffee shops (the italics are mine), at a movie or indoor performance, when the National Anthem is played and when the American flag passes by as in a parade.

DEAR ABBY: Before she died last May, my wife ordered Christmas cards with both of our names printed on them. Should I send those cards, Abby? It would comfort me to still have our names linked together. -- WIDOWED IN ARKANSAS

DEAR WIDOWED: If it brings you comfort, send them. And if you are questioned about it, tell the person the reason why.