DEAR ABBY: My 24-year-old daughter married her high school sweetheart whom she has been with for nine years. He was unfaithful to her while they were dating. They have been married a year now, and he has been unfaithful several more times during their married life.

She has left him twice. The second time she filed for divorce, but he talked her into taking him back. He promises to be faithful to her now.

They are so young, and I hate to see her live a life with a man who is a cheater. There are no children, and my daughter has a college education. Abby, my question is: After repeated cheating, do men ever become faithful husbands? -- SICK WITH WORRY IN MONTANA

DEAR SICK WITH WORRY: Because your son-in-law continued being unfaithful to your daughter more than once, I seriously doubt that he's going to quit. When a man -- or woman -- forms a pattern of cheating, it rarely stops. I hope your daughter understands that before having children.

DEAR ABBY: My 6-year-old daughter "Kaylee" recently spent a weekend with her grandparents. While she was there, they bought her several gifts.

Today her grandmother called and asked to have one of the gifts back. A friend of hers would like to have the decorative musical instruments she gave to Kaylee. Grandma's idea is to offer to buy something else for my daughter and "trade."

I don't know how to handle this. I can't imagine asking someone to return a present I had given him or her. Kaylee loves the instruments and has been playing with them every day since she received them. However, I think her grandma (my stepmother) will be upset if I don't go along with her plan. Abby, help! -- AGHAST IN SAN FRANCISCO

DEAR AGHAST: Once a gift is given, it belongs to the person who received it. Of course, your stepmother can offer your daughter the idea of a "trade." However, if Kaylee isn't keen on the idea, then you must tell Grandma her idea went over like a lead balloon and her friend is out of luck.

DEAR ABBY: It will soon be that time of year when adult children will wrack their brains to find Christmas gifts for their elderly parents. Two years ago, my daughter gave me the gift of a lifetime -- my pets' lives.

Knowing how much my dog and cats mean to me since I live alone, she and my son-in-law called to say that instead of giving me another knickknack for Christmas, my birthday or Mother's Day, they would pay all my veterinary bills for the life of each pet. It was a welcome surprise and a special, thoughtful gift.

Pets bring companionship and comfort to those of us who live alone on fixed incomes. Knowing they will have the proper veterinary care is, indeed, the gift of a lifetime. Even if you can't assume all the costs of your parents' pets, chipping in on holidays would help a lot. -- APPRECIATIVE MOM IN ILLINOIS

DEAR APPRECIATIVE MOM: I agree, and that's why I'm printing your letter. With so many people feeling stressed economically, your letter may provide the "purr-fect" solution to what to get for an older relative.

DEAR ABBY: My wife is a back-seat driver who seems to get more anxious every time we go anywhere together. She tells me to slow down, which lights to watch, which lane I should be in, which cars are braking, which ones are speeding, where the semi-trucks are if she thinks they're getting too close, and how to drive in various weather conditions. She'll move her foot to an imaginary brake on the passenger side, squirm in her seat and hang onto the handle above the passenger door while I'm doing my best to concentrate on my driving. It's very distracting.

My wife is not willing to drive when we're going somewhere, although I have offered to let her. She also refuses to sit back and relax because you can't control another person's driving. If I ignore her, she becomes irritated and says I'm not paying attention to her concerns. I have never had a serious accident and have had none in the past 15 years. What can I do about this? -- DRIVEN CRAZY IN WISCONSIN

DEAR DRIVEN: For openers, slow down! When a passenger hangs onto the handle above the door, slams on an imaginary brake and scrunches back in the passenger seat, it means you're approaching the car ahead of you too fast and the person is bracing for impact.

Next, make clear to your wife before you pull out of the driveway that what she has been doing is distracting to the point that instead of averting an accident, she could very well cause one -- so it's important she leave the driving to the driver. If she is still uncomfortable, she should either sit in the back seat or the two of you should drive separately.

DEAR ABBY: I have four granddaughters ranging in age from 8 months to 9 years. What can we do to help them become confident, self-assured women? -- GRANDMA LINDA IN SHELBY, ALA.

DEAR GRANDMA LINDA: Spend time with them, listen to them, and let them know you love them and they are important to you.

DEAR ABBY: I am the mother of the groom. My husband and I are hosting the wedding rehearsal dinner. The bride's mother informed me that she is going to have a slide show of the bride's and groom's baby pictures at the dinner.

What do you think of this practice? I thought she should have at least asked my permission. I did tell her I was not a fan of the idea because I was at a wedding reception where it was done and the comments from the guests were not complimentary. Please comment. -- TASTEFUL MOM IN NEW YORK

DEAR TASTEFUL MOM: I think showing the bride's and groom's baby pictures at the rehearsal dinner would be rather sweet. I'm sure they will elicit many "Awws" and "Weren't they cute!" And the guests will be limited to the bridal party and out-of-town guests, a smaller crowd than would attend the wedding reception.

Because your in-law-to-be won't be able to get her hands on photos of your son without your cooperation, select some you like and share them. If you don't, it will cause hard feelings. And yes, she should have asked permission. Chalk up the fact that she didn't to her excitement and a desire to contribute.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $12 (U.S. funds)

DEAR ABBY: I'm 13, and about six months ago my mom confiscated my iPod because I misbehaved. When it was time to get my iPod back, my mom couldn't find it. We have been searching everywhere in the house for it -- but it's gone.

My iPod is very important to me because almost every cent I earned went into buying the music and applications. The amount of money I spent is greater than the cost of the iPod itself. I asked my mother to buy me a new one to replace the one she lost, but she said it was my fault that it was taken away, and she could not keep track of where it was.

I think it is unfair that my mom lost something I spent so much on. Who is responsible for buying a new one? -- MUSIC-STARVED IN OLYMPIA, WASH.

DEAR MUSIC-STARVED: Good parents model responsible behavior for their children; that's how children learn. You misbehaved and you were punished for it. If the agreement was that you would get your iPod back, and your mother lost it, then she should replace it -- including the money you invested in loading it. She should be ashamed of herself for trying to weasel out of it.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, "Ethan," and I have graduated from a prestigious four-year university. We have stable incomes and bright futures ahead of us, and we're planning and saving for a wedding within the next two years.

The problem is, we feel like oddballs in our group of friends -- ostracized and shunned. They feel our level of commitment is too great for our ages and that it's wrong to want to marry so young. My friends constantly say bad things about Ethan, and I'm tired of defending our relationship. Is there something wrong with being committed? What can I say to my friends the next time they put down my relationship? -- YOUNG BUT SERIOUS IN SAN DIEGO

DEAR YOUNG BUT SERIOUS: You and Ethan are out of school. Planning a wedding in two years doesn't appear to be rushing into anything. You do not have to "defend" your relationship to anyone.

Tell your friends you feel lucky to have found "the one" so early, and that you wish them luck in their own searches. Tell them that when they put Ethan down, it shows a lack of respect for your judgment. And start looking for other couples with whom to socialize so you're not so dependent upon this group. If they are uncomfortable with the idea of including a "committed couple" in their circle, then you and Ethan may have outgrown them.

DEAR ABBY: I wear colored contact lenses that make my blue eyes appear much more defined. When I wear blue clothing it makes my eyes stand out even more.

Many people comment on my eye color, but I find questions such as "Are they real?" or "They must be contacts" to be rude. I would never ask someone with nice hair if it was dyed or a wig.

Have you any suggestions on what I should say in response to these comments? -- VERY BLUE-EYED IN INDIANAPOLIS

DEAR VERY BLUE-EYED: What the people are conveying through their questions and comments is that you are not fooling anybody. Because your natural eye color is blue and you are wearing contact lenses, answer yes to both questions. However, you do not need to elaborate further.