DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend is pressuring me to take his camera cell phone with me into the girls' locker room and take pictures of the other girls with little or nothing on. He says it has always been a "fantasy" of his, and that if I really love him I'll help him fulfill his fantasy.

He promises to keep the pictures secret and says that what the other girls don't know won't hurt them. He offered to do the same for me and take pictures in the boys' locker room, but I'm not interested. I know it would be wrong to do it, and I wouldn't want someone secretly taking pictures of me.

He hinted that if I refuse he will look for another girl who will. I'm scared of losing him because I'm not much to look at, and he's the only boy who has ever shown any interest in me. I know you're not going to tell me to go ahead and do this, so I'm not sure why I'm writing, but I would appreciate any advice you can give me. -- DON'T WANT TO LOSE HIM IN THE U.S.A.

DEAR DON'T WANT TO LOSE HIM: I'm glad you wrote. If you do what this boy is pushing you to do, you could be thrown out of school. He will not be able to resist the urge to show the pictures to his friends -- and possibly put them on the Internet. It would be a huge invasion of privacy and a breach of trust, and regardless of what he says, it will NOT bring you closer together.

If he truly cared about you, he would never ask you to do something that could get you into serious trouble. You could be accused of creating and distributing pornographic material, and there could be legal liability. The penalty you would pay isn't worth the "interest" he's showing in you. Run!

DEAR ABBY: Two friends and I recently went on a trip together. While on the trip, one of them told me she knows how old I am because she looked it up online. My reply was that a friend would ask me for that kind of information, and if I didn't want to reveal my age she would respect my wishes.

Abby, I wonder about her reason for letting me know she was looking up information about me on the Internet. Am I wrong to be upset over it? Her response was that "everyone" does it, and because I was offended she will no longer speak to me. Did I overreact? -- AGELESS TEXAN

DEAR AGELESS TEXAN: (Or should I say "formerly" ageless?) If the subject of your age came up during the trip and you expressed reluctance to reveal yours, then what the woman did was one-up you. That she would then imply that you were "wrong" to feel invaded and to no longer speak to you is her attempt to blame you for your very normal reaction.

That said, along with the "blessing" of the Internet has come the sobering reality that there are enormous amounts of information about all of us on it (some true, some not), and that anyone who is curious or nosy can mine it to his or her heart's content -- which is what happened to you. And no, you did not overreact.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have had a long-standing disagreement. Her family leaves the price tags on all gifts. This has caused our children to expect that I spend the same amount on them for Christmas and birthdays. I feel they have become materialistic and have lost the meaning behind the gifts. My family never left the price tags on, and I feel that doing so is tacky. What's your opinion? -- $$$ IN HAMMOND, ILL.

DEAR $$$: I agree with you. Leaving the price tag on a gift IS tacky.

DEAR ABBY: I read your advice to "Getting Grief in Grants Pass, Ore.," (Sept. 11), whose father was reading her cell phone messages. You called his supervision "heavy-handed" and suggested she discuss it with him. While I applaud your suggestion to have a talk with her father, please reconsider the characterization that he was heavy-handed.

As a parent and high school assistant principal, I have seen too often the dangers of "sexting" and other illicit communications. Today's smart phone tells us all sorts of things that we as parents need to know. It also has connections to social networking and applications that allow teenagers to blindly send their phone numbers to anonymous users and have conversations.

The world has changed with this technology, and the attention we pay as parents must change with it. I strongly urge the parents at my school to check their children's phones and computers regularly. I suggest to parents to start doing it when their children are young and explain that it is part of their job as a parent. -- DAVE MILLER, NEW YORK

DEAR DAVE: Thank you for writing and reminding me that kids today face many challenges that had never been an issue for them in past generations. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: The number of teens and children who engage in inappropriate sexting and texting is shocking. These behaviors can be evidence of sexual exploitation, harassment, bullying and teen dating violence. The results of this teenage behavior can be devastating and have lifetime consequences.

Kids sometimes are afraid to go to parents or other responsible adults to seek help when they need it; often kids may not even know they are in trouble or exposing themselves to danger by their behavior. How long do you think it takes a "sext" between a girl and her boyfriend to make it to a child porn website?

A cell phone is a computer, and parents are responsible for ensuring the safety of their children and protecting them from predators and others who might harm them.

If "Grief" is not engaging in inappropriate behavior, she shouldn't be embarrassed if her parents read the text messages. Abby, please use your column to help educate children, teens and their parents that a text/sext lasts a lifetime. -- PATRICIA DAILEY LEWIS, DEPUTY ATTORNEY GENERAL, DELAWARE DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE

DEAR ABBY: As a crime prevention officer, I regularly encourage parents to check a child's cell phone for bullying and sexting, most of which a child won't share with a parent. Especially if the child is the one who is using the phone to bully others, she certainly won't share her pictures with her parents.

Most children are unaware that state laws have not changed, and children who send pornographic pictures of themselves to others can be charged with distributing child pornography and may have to register as a sexual predator for the rest of their lives. Kudos to "Grief's" father for protecting his child not only from herself, but ensuring she is not hurting others! -- CHILD ADVOCATE IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR ABBY: Once young people enter the work force, their e-mail, use of company phones and profiles on social sites will be monitored by their employers. There are consequences for living in a digital world, and our young people need to understand that.

I do not agree with her father telling her if she doesn't want him to see something, she should delete it. Please don't encourage children to lie. It won't lead to anything good down the road. For young men and women who think this is a good idea, remember that nothing deleted is ever truly gone -- it can be retrieved.

Whether it's online, on a computer or a cell phone, act with decorum, use common sense, and you'll never need to worry about getting in trouble for your behavior. -- MOTHER OF TEENS IN SHARON, PA.

DEAR ABBY: I have a tattoo on my forearm. It's my deceased son's name, with angel's wings and a halo. Because of where it's placed on my arm, I wear long sleeves or three-quarter sleeves to work. If I feel it might "peek out," I wear an Ace bandage over it.

I am a bank branch manager and I'm sometimes asked, "What happened to your arm?" when the bandage can be seen. I feel telling the person I have a tattoo defeats the whole purpose of keeping it covered, and I don't want to lie. What is the proper response? -- TATTOOED FEMALE PROFESSIONAL IN INDIANA

DEAR PROFESSIONAL: Does having a visible tattoo violate the dress code at your bank? So many people have body art that it's no longer considered shocking. If no rule prevents it, I see no reason to hide it -- and if you're questioned about its significance, tell the truth. If there is a rule that discourages it and you are asked about the Ace bandage, just smile and say, "Thank you for your concern, but it's nothing serious."

DEAR ABBY: For the past few years, my "Aunt Maude" has given birthday, holiday and graduation gifts she has picked up at yard sales. These "gifts" are neither usable nor are they age-appropriate.

My sister "Hallie" is being married soon. We would like Aunt Maude to attend without feeling she needs to buy a used gift. Money is not an issue for her, but she thinks she is buying a personalized gift when, in fact, it's something that will be discarded. Our family would rather she attend with no gift than a yard sale item. What's the best way to handle this? -- BLUSHING BRIDESMAID

DEAR BLUSHING BRIDESMAID: The subject of wedding gifts can be a sensitive one. To imply that someone's gift is unacceptable would be extremely rude. However, a way to approach this might be for Maude's sibling to suggest to her that Hallie has already received more "things" than she can use, and that the most meaningful gift Maude could give her niece would be her presence at the celebration.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend says all his friends think I am "stuck up." He told me (loudly) that I come across as rude because I'm not outgoing enough. More than once, people have asked him what my deal is.

I am quiet and reserved when I'm around new people, but once I'm comfortable, I do open up. I know I can sometimes come across as being unfriendly, but the way he presented it to me left me crushed. Shyness can be misperceived, and I try to be nice to everyone. I'm loyal to a fault and the first to offer help to friends, family and especially my boyfriend.

While he had a valid point in what he said, I am now questioning the effect his approach has had on our relationship. Am I justified in feeling so hurt, or should I just suck it up? -- PICKED APART IN UTAH

DEAR PICKED APART: Sometimes it's not what someone says, but the way it is said that is hurtful. Because your boyfriend's tone was loud and angry, it's understandable that you felt attacked. If it happened in public rather than in private, he was tactless. But if you're going to have a relationship with him, his friends will have to be a part of it. And rather than scolding you, he should have explained to them that you need time to get to know them.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $12 (U.S. funds)