DEAR ABBY: I am a 12-year-old girl who is not happy with who I am. When I was younger I always imagined what I'd be like when I was older -- and this is not who I want to be.

I am the girl everyone wants to date. I have lost people close to me lately and made mistakes I wish I could take back. I love God and the fact that He gave me life, but I don't like myself. People treat me like I have no feelings sometimes, and I'm tired of drama that isn't worth my time. I want to change who I am to who I really want to be.

Do you have any tips on how to make myself the person I want to be, and not the person everyone else wants? -- WHO AM I? VALRICO, FLA.

DEAR WHO AM I?: You are an intelligent young lady who has recognized that she must make changes if she wants to achieve her goals. Good for you.

At 12, you're not frozen into any role. There is time to change your image. While it may be flattering to be someone "everyone wants to date," you are not obligated to date anyone. Concentrate on improving your grades, becoming active in sports, developing your interests and a stronger relationship with your church. If you do, you will form different kinds of relationships that will enable you to become the person you want to be. I have no doubt that you'll accomplish whatever you set your mind to because you have already started.

DEAR ABBY: I am a friendly, 23-year-old woman who likes to make new friends all the time. Recently, though, I have had a few "bumps" and I'm not sure if I may be doing something wrong.

I tried to befriend one girl who was an acquaintance from high school. I found her on Facebook and sent her a message. She replied that she was glad for the surprise e-mail. I sent her a reply, but she never returned one. I also tried to add her as a friend, but she declined.

Then there's the girl who is the sister of one of my male friends. I found her on Facebook, too, and sent her an e-mail. It was the same story. I got a friendly reply -- then nothing.

I met the third girl online at a different friend-type site. She said she was "so glad I messaged her" and the same scenario repeated. I'm confused. Am I making some mistake or just picking the wrong people to befriend? -- EVERYONE'S PAL, EUGENE, ORE.

DEAR PAL: What matters in life isn't the number of friends one has, but the quality of the friendship. Friendship does not usually happen spontaneously, it takes time and common interests among acquaintances to build.

Instead of trying to make friends all the time, concentrate on trying to nurture relationships more slowly on common interest sites. The approach you have chosen may strike others as a little too aggressive. Also, stop depending on online sites and venture into the real world, too.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have a minor disagreement about the definition of a bachelor. The dictionary defines a bachelor as "an unmarried man." My husband thinks the definition should include "men who have never been married, widowed or divorced."

I think a bachelor is an unmarried man, regardless of the reason he's currently unmarried. He could be divorced or widowed and be a bachelor, as long as his current status is without a companion. What do you say? -- AN INQUIRING COUPLE IN GEORGIA

DEAR COUPLE: I'm inclined to side with your husband on this one. A man who has been divorced is a divorced man; a man who has lost his wife is a widower; and a man who has never been to the altar by the age of 50 is not only a bachelor -- but a confirmed bachelor.

DEAR ABBY: I have been keeping a journal for my son since he was born 22 years ago. I have never missed a single day. I write about him regardless of whether I see him or not. Sometimes I'll jot down a verse I remembered, or something happening in his world or an item of newsworthy information. I have also written my thoughts about his life and decisions.

My dilemma is when I should give these writings to him. I don't want to keep them indefinitely because they are meant for him. He is married and has a son on the way. My inclination is to give him the writings of his life on the occasion of his son's birth. He has no idea I've been doing this, so it will be a complete surprise. I'd appreciate your input. -- BLOCKED WRITER IN OKLAHOMA

DEAR BLOCKED WRITER: What an amazing gift those journals will be. However, allow me to caution you against giving them to your son when his child is born. There will be a lot going on at that time, and you do not want to distract from that momentous occasion. My advice is to wait until his next milestone birthday and present them to him when he's 25. And because you enjoy journaling, consider starting one about your own life then.

DEAR ABBY: I have always enjoyed Halloween. I like seeing the children in their costumes and, for most of the little ones, it is a fun and magical time.

In our neighborhood, a group of 15 to 20 parents escort their trick-or-treating children from door to door. Sometimes there are 25 to 30 kids. When they approach a house for their treats, the parents remain on the sidewalk, apparently oblivious to what's going on when the door opens.

We have a small front porch that rises about 8 inches above the sidewalk. The kids push and shove, jockeying for position to get their "loot." Last year, a 5-year-old fell off our porch. Fortunately, she was not hurt. The parents did not issue any directions to their children to take turns accepting our candy because they were too busy chatting among themselves.

Because of the inherent danger to unsupervised children (and the possibility of a lawsuit if there should be an accident), I will not be turning on my porch light this year -- the signal in our area that alerts kids that the home is participating in trick-or-treat.

I hope my letter will remind parents to practice mindfulness and make this Sunday a Happy Halloween! -- LIGHTS OUT IN HARRISBURG

DEAR LIGHTS OUT: So do I, and that's why I'm printing your letter, which arrived just in time for me to include it in today's column. Last year your neighbors were lucky the child who fell didn't break a wrist or an ankle. Parents, when escorting your little ghosts, goblins and vampires, please remain vigilant. Common sense must prevail.

DEAR ABBY: I'm in love with my best friend. It seems so simple when I say it, but when it comes to telling him, the words never come out right. I don't know if I should even say anything. What if it ruins the amazing friendship we already have? Is it worth risking it all? -- HESITANT IN FLORIDA

DEAR HESITANT: Yes, it is, so tell him how you feel. If he has feelings for you, you'll get what you're angling for. If he doesn't, it does not mean your friendship must end. It will let you know that if you want a romantic relationship you are free to look elsewhere. Better to know it sooner than later.

DEAR ABBY: My husband, children and I were visiting our friend "Rosemary" and her husband. Our boys were playing with water guns in the front yard. One of them opened Rosemary's car door to block himself from his brother's line of fire. Rosemary, understandably, became upset and went to shut the door before the interior of her vehicle got soaked. As she did so, our son slammed the door and caught her hand in it, breaking two fingers.

We apologized profusely, thought all was forgiven and returned home. A week ago, we received a letter from Rosemary stating that we owe her money for several weeks of lost wages due to the mishap. (She's a massage therapist.) I feel that accidents happen and it just as easily could have happened to her if our children weren't present. My husband says we should give her the money because it was our child who injured her and it's a way to save our friendship. What should we do? -- "HAND"-ED A CHALLENGE

DEAR "HAND"-ED: What your son did was unfortunate, but your attitude about it is appalling. You should not only reimburse Rosemary for the work she lost, you should also offer to pay for her medical expense.

P.S. Your son should also take responsibility and offer to do errands for her for a specific period of time.

DEAR ABBY: Over the weekend, I visited my best friend out of state. On Saturday, we'd finished touring the state capitol building and exited opposite from where we'd entered. Outside, halfway down the steps, we saw a wedding was about to start. I love weddings and wanted to watch the ceremony. The idea made my friend a little uncomfortable, but I saw no problem with it. We were about 100 feet away from the event and didn't interfere or mingle with any of the people involved. We left as soon as the ceremony finished. Of course, I wouldn't think of inviting ourselves to the reception.

My friend and I didn't argue. I'm just curious about whether watching the wedding was inappropriate under those circumstances. -- LOVES THE POMP IN DAYTON, OHIO

DEAR LOVES THE POMP: Because the wedding was held in a public place and you kept your distance, there was no reason why pausing to watch the ceremony was inappropriate. Nor was there any reason for the wedding party to expect complete privacy.

DEAR ABBY: I have a wonderful husband who is loving, a good friend to me, and a loving father to our children. Due to back problems and other contributing factors, he is unable to work.

I know he would rather be working and that he's unhappy his injuries keep him from doing so. Our problem comes when people we know or meet ask him the inevitable, "So, what do you do for a living?"

Abby, neither of us has a job outside the home. What can we politely tell these people that will satisfy their curiosity without embarrassing my husband? -- TONGUE-TIED IN WASHINGTON STATE

DEAR TONGUE-TIED: I see nothing embarrassing about your husband replying, "I was working as a ( ), but injured my back and can't work, so I'm on disability." It's the truth.