DEAR ABBY: I'm a 25-year-old woman who is involved in a serious relationship with a wonderful man. We've been together for about three months and we're very much in love.

My problem: I think I'm obsessed with him. I am happy only when we spend time together. When we're not, I feel sad and alone. I spend my time following his activities on social networking sites and constantly checking my cell phone, hoping he sends me a message.

This is my first serious relationship. I know he loves me as much as I love him because he has mentioned marriage and having kids together someday. Is what I am experiencing normal? -- LOVESTRUCK IN NEW YORK

DEAR LOVESTRUCK: It's not unusual for a first relationship, but you're right to be concerned. Take a step back and look at what you're doing. We cannot depend on someone else to make us happy or make us whole. When a woman spends all her time tracking what her boyfriend is doing when he's not with her and waiting for the phone to ring, it makes her a less-interesting person to be around than she could be. And that kind of dependency can drive a man away.

It is important that you create a balance between what's going on in the relationship and continuing to develop yourself as an individual. Your boyfriend seems to have no problem doing this.

DEAR ABBY: I have a hard time empathizing with people who are sick. My mother suffered from all sorts of medical issues and it affected me greatly.

My husband, "Glen," and I are in our 50s. He's nearing 60, and as we age I expect our health will decline. Glen already takes medications for several conditions. I, on the other hand, have always enjoyed excellent health.

I find myself becoming impatient when Glen is sick. It's not that I think he's faking; I just think he needs to "get over it" and not let it affect him. I hide my feelings pretty well. I take care of him, make chicken soup, let him rest, pick up his medicine or whatever. But I'm afraid if he were to become seriously ill that I wouldn't take good care of him. I love him dearly, but I don't seem to be able to work up sympathy when he (or anyone) is sick.

I'm afraid to tell this to Glen because I'm afraid he'll keep his conditions from me and think I don't want to be there for him. How can I increase my "caring gene"? I have had therapy for other issues. What can I do? -- NURSING A FLAW IN TEXAS

DEAR NURSING: Lack of empathy is the inability to relate to the feelings of others. Some individuals have such an overabundance of empathy that they become literally paralyzed by the pain of another person. Be glad you aren't one of those.

When a spouse becomes sick and dependent, it can be a challenge. You can minimize or ignore it, or you can choose to be solicitous and helpful. Tolerating the complaints that go along with being ill isn't always easy, but if you visualize how you would want to be treated if the situation were reversed, it might help you be less impatient.

I'm sorry you weren't more forthcoming about the issues that sent you into therapy. If you really feel you might be emotionally absent when the chips are down, contact your therapist and start working on it now.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 12-year-old girl with a big problem. My class recently learned about reproduction. All of the girls accepted it in a mature manner, but it's another story with the boys.

Now all the boys look at me funny when I walk through the hall. It makes me feel awkward. Should I ignore them or should I say something? -- EMBARRASSED IN MICHIGAN

DEAR EMBARRASSED: Right now, I suspect most of your classmates are feeling awkward. A frank discussion about reproduction has been known to make students older than you uncomfortable. It is, however, a part of life -- and contrary to what some may think, ignorance isn't bliss.

Acting the way the boys are is normal for their age. But if it continues, rather than saying anything to them -- which might encourage more of the same -- talk to a teacher about it.

DEAR ABBY: Shortly before I started college, a relative introduced me to "Paul," who would be attending the same school, and told us we were distant cousins. Paul and I became friends. We socialized together often and all our friends knew us as cousins.

It wasn't until after graduation that our parents told us that while we have a relative in common, it is by marriage, and we are not related to each other. Paul and I have a lot in common, and he has expressed an interest in pursuing a relationship with me.

Paul is a great guy, but I'm reluctant to date him because all our friends think we're related. It almost feels like we are doing something wrong. Can you please share your opinion on this situation? -- IT'S ALL RELATIVE

DEAR ALL RELATIVE: There is nothing to stop you and Paul from becoming romantically involved if you're both leaning in that direction. The way to deal with it would be to tell your friends, before you start being seen together, how "amusing" it is that you were led to believe the two of you were related, when it turns out that you aren't. It was all a big mistake. (Ha-ha.)

That should quell most of the gossip you're concerned about. And if you're asked directly, repeat what you told me.

DEAR ABBY: I have been involved with a man, "Seth," for more than two years. We share mutual interests and he makes me laugh. For the most part we're happy, but I have one concern. I have yet to receive flowers from Seth, although he has mentioned many times that he had sent them to his ex while they were together.

Is it wrong for me to expect flowers, or should I just forget the idea and leave it alone? -- WAITING FOR ROSES IN HOUSTON

DEAR WAITING: Not knowing Seth, I can't say whether his unwillingness to send you flowers is because after what happened with his ex he considers them a bad investment or whether he's just cheap. But because the absence of flowers is bothering you, ask him about the omission.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 23-year-old woman who has been helping to raise my three adorable godchildren over the last few years. Their mother is also 23. She became pregnant with her oldest when she was 15. She's a young single mother, unprepared for the full responsibility, so I have stepped in.

When they were babies, we would take turns rocking them all night. I take them to the doctor's when they are sick -- with or without their mom. I helped select which schools they attend. Through the years I have been there every day, waking them in the morning, taking them to school, putting them to bed, etc.

I am now being married and have slightly reduced my day-to-day role, although I am still in many ways the "other parent." I get criticized for this all the time. I am constantly being told, "They are not your children. You shouldn't be doing this." Even my future in-laws have said it.

I don't know how to respond. I love the children very much, as if they were my own. I can't let them suffer for their mother's numerous mistakes. I'd appreciate any advice you can give me. -- GODMOTHER OF THREE IN NEW ENGLAND

DEAR GODMOTHER: May I begin by asking, "Where is their mother?" Where are the grandparents? Three children, no father(s) -- who is supporting them? You are a caring angel to have stepped in to the extent that you have, but why isn't their mother around to put them to bed at night, wake them in the morning, and see that they get to the doctor when they are so sick they need one? Something is seriously out of kilter.

In the not-too-distant future you will have children of your own to care for. Husbands need a certain amount of care and nurturing, too. It will be impossible for you to continue to be as involved as you have been in your godchildren's lives. You are doing the right thing by transitioning away, and you must continue to do so. Much as you love them, your godchildren are their mother's responsibility, and you have already done more than you should have been expected (or asked) to do.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I had a troubled marriage. He was a good father and provider, and I respected him for that. But he did not respect me. He constantly blamed and criticized me for his many emotional problems. After I told him I was leaving him, he committed suicide.

My problem is, our adult children blame me for his death. I don't want to bad-mouth their father or tell them the unpleasant details of our marriage, but they don't know the whole story.

I have had lots of professional counseling and my kids have had some, but they refuse to attend any more sessions. Should I just continue to do the best I can and hope they can be more forgiving as they mature, or should I tell them my side of the story? -- DOING THE BEST I CAN

DEAR DOING: Your children should have been told the whole story while you were together in counseling. If you allow them to continue in their belief that you caused their father's death, their anger will only continue to grow. If possible, that important conversation should be held with the help of a mediator. Because they refuse to see a therapist, I'm recommending your religious adviser.