DEAR ABBY: Do you have any data on the success of remarrying your ex-spouse? After being married to my husband for 25 years, we divorced due to his infidelity. We have been divorced for eight years and have had no contact.

A family member's funeral brought us face-to-face again, and we have been in touch ever since. Neither of us has remarried or been in a relationship. We realize that we still have feelings for each other and have discussed remarrying in the future.

I love him, but I'm wary of being hurt again. What do you think? Does remarrying your ex ever work? -- HAVING SECOND (TIME) THOUGHTS

DEAR SECOND THOUGHTS: It can work, provided you're both willing to deal with the issues that broke you up in the first place. By that, I mean that you must be ready to examine whether there was something missing in the marriage that caused your husband to cheat, or whether he has a character flaw and would repeat his infidelity.

I strongly recommend you do this with the assistance of a licensed marriage counselor. If you both go through the process, remarrying your ex could work. If you don't, you would be courting another dose of heartache.

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating "Nick" for more than a year. We have both been married before -- Nick's a widower, and I am divorced. He says he cares for me, but doesn't feel passionate about me, nor does "love" describe how he feels about me.

We are intimate, are great friends and spend almost every day together. He treats me great, dates no one else and I can be myself around him. But am I cheating myself by accepting the status quo? Our intimate times aren't satisfying because of the lack of emotional ties, but I'm torn because I enjoy his company. I am confused. Any words of wisdom, Abby? -- NOT QUITE FULFILLED

DEAR NOT QUITE FULFILLED: You and Nick are friends with benefits. Because you have no future with him beyond what you have now, and because intimacy with him is not satisfying because of his inability (or refusal) to emotionally commit -- I'd have to say he's reaping more of the benefits. The status quo is a substitute for what you really want, and yes, you are cheating yourself.

DEAR ABBY: I have been going through photo albums recently. Oh, the joy of seeing all those familiar faces again! However, when I turned the pictures over to verify people's last names and the dates they were taken, I was disappointed to find them blank.

The vacations depicted in the photos were wonderful, and I'm sure I thought we'd never forget the year. But the years go by.... So this is a reminder to take the time to label the back of photos with pertinent information. Believe me, it will be appreciated in later years. -- SHUTTERBUG IN CANON CITY, COLO.

DEAR SHUTTERBUG: The situation you describe is one that countless people have experienced -- and something folks often don't think about until it is too late. Thank you for the timely suggestion. It's one that I hope readers will make the time to follow.

DEAR ABBY: How do I get out of an affair that has been going on for two years? I started it at a bad time in my life --- fights with my husband, the pressure of having three young kids, and a business we co-owned that was in financial difficulty. I know what I did was wrong. My husband doesn't know, and I don't think he suspects.

I'm afraid if I end the affair, I will get blackmailed or found out. My lover refuses to end it. He wants me and thinks he can treat me better than my husband. Any advice? -- STUCK IN HOT TEXAS

DEAR STUCK: Just this. A man who "refuses to end it" and implies that he would blackmail or betray you is not someone you would ever want to spend your life with. It's time to tell your husband everything -- that you deeply regret what you have done, why it happened, that you want to heal your marriage and be free of this barnacle who refuses to let go. The longer you wait, the more difficult it will be. Do it now.

DEAR ABBY: My wife, "Marissa," and I are expecting our first child. My sister "Patti" has a little boy whom we all love and adore. When Patti learned that we're having a girl, she said we don't "deserve" to have one because she has always wanted a daughter. Then Marissa added fuel to the fire with a few well-chosen remarks of her own that she shared with friends and neighbors.

I just want all of this to stop and I don't know how to accomplish it. I'm upset with Patti for her behavior, and sad that my wife and sister are at odds. This is hurting everyone in the family. What should I do? -- STRESSED-OUT DAD-TO-BE

DEAR STRESSED OUT: Everyone needs to just calm down. Your wife and sister need to apologize to each other. Patti may have been joking when she said you don't deserve to have a baby girl. What she may have meant -- and overstated -- was that she was experiencing a twinge of jealousy.

Suggest to Marissa that your sister shouldn't have been taken literally, and that she apologize to Patti for "snapping." Ditto for your sister for her tactlessness. Then remind your sister that we don't live in a country with a one-child policy. If she wants to try for a daughter, she is free to do so, and in the meantime, she'll have a sweet little niece to spoil.

DEAR ABBY: My family moved to a new state last year. While there have been ups and downs, one of the things I miss most is my pets. Before we moved, we had a dog, a cat and some goldfish. Now we're in an apartment and can't afford all the fees associated with having pets. Also the apartment is too cramped to accommodate them.

My son "Toby" is 2. He loved each of the animals. He'd watch the dog run around, pet the cat and stare at the fish. The cat slept in Toby's nursery, the dog guarded him in his stroller, and the fish loved him because he fed them.

How can I encourage my son's natural love of animals? A few hours playing with a cat or dog would be fine. -- PETLESS IN MARYLAND

DEAR PETLESS: Buy your son more goldfish. Read him stories about animals, and take him to the zoo as often as you can manage. His love of animals has already begun and this will continue it to develop.

DEAR ABBY: You told "No Ink in Louisville" (Aug. 24) that her friend cared more about getting a tattoo than the feelings of the bride-to-be, and her "little sister" should have postponed getting one until after the wedding.

I think "No Ink" was insensitive on several counts. If she truly loves her dear friend, why couldn't she simply accept her friend's wish to wear a tattoo at the wedding? Shouldn't the love and acceptance of her friend come first? We are talking about true friendship. Should body appearance be so important to the bride that she thinks the tattoo will ruin her wedding or the photographs?

Friendship works both ways. I think both women were insensitive in their regard for each other, but this was an opportunity for the bride-to-be to show her maturity. I see this as simply another case of how consumed we are as a society by appearance. Come on! It's only a tattoo. -- BOB IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR BOB: Thank you for writing. I had an "inkling" my readers might have varied suggestions and opinions regarding that letter. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I think the tattoo would not only be visible for pictures, but also take away the beauty of the entire event. Attendants should complement the wedding not distract from it. I would ask the bridesmaid to please wear a sheer matching jacket -- or bow out. After all, it is the bride and groom's day -- and it is a big deal. -- NO TATTOO IN NEW MEXICO

DEAR ABBY: If "Ink" cared about her friend's feelings, she would never have requested that she wait six months to get a tattoo. There were people I would have loved to have had in my wedding party, but because I knew they were neither punctual nor reliable, they were guests, not part of my bridal party. I never would ask someone to put his or her life on hold for my one day. -- JILLIAN IN OAKLAND, CALIF.

DEAR ABBY: The photographer can easily remove the tattoo from the photos. Thank goodness for digital photography! We have a picture of our son that was taken with his now ex-girlfriend and, because of the wonders of modern photography, he is now standing alone and looking mighty fine! -- DELETED HER FROM THE PICTURE

DEAR ABBY: There are many makeup concealers made to specifically camouflage tattoos. "Ink" can find plenty of them in makeup stores or online. They may be expensive, but if her friend agrees, it would be a small price to pay for the bride's peace of mind. And in this situation, because it's the bride who wants to hide the tattoo, I think she should be the one to buy the concealer. -- INK LOVER IN HONOLULU

DEAR ABBY: I wear loud, bright colors and have magenta-colored hair. My cousin is being married in a few weeks, and I offered to tone it down and wear muted colors so I would not stand out. She replied, "That isn't you," and that I should wear what I normally would -- vivid colors and all. We love each other and we respect our differences. Shouldn't that be what a wedding is all about -- love? -- KIM IN OAK HARBOR, WASH.