DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, "Jake," dumped me two years ago. Since then, we have tried to remain friends. He texts or calls to check up on me, tells me he misses me, calls me pet names and recites lines from my favorite movies.

Although I appreciate Jake's efforts to stay friends, I'm confused because he was the one who broke off our relationship. He has said in the past that letting me go is something he will always regret, but he hasn't made an attempt to get back together.

Abby, I feel that Jake is stringing me along. I enjoy our friendship, but in my heart I'll always want more. I can't shake the feeling that he still loves me. At what point should I just give up and let go? -- LEFT HANGING IN HOUSTON

DEAR LEFT HANGING: How about right now? But before you do, tell Jake that this "friendship" has prolonged the pain of your breakup, that what you feel for him isn't platonic -- and you will always want more. If he does still love you, it will be his opening to declare himself. However, if he doesn't, then for your sake, cut the cord, because you won't be free to find someone else until you do.

DEAR ABBY: I was married in Las Vegas six months ago in a quickie wedding so my husband could put me on his health insurance. I used my late grandmother's ring for the ceremony, assuming that "Harry" would buy one for me shortly. It still hasn't happened, and he makes it very clear he doesn't intend to. Harry claims we don't have any money. However, we are buying a house, and he constantly spends money on his hobbies.

I am starting to regret the whole package -- not having a real wedding, no ring, no proposal. I am so resentful I am considering ending our marriage over it. I need to know if there's a way to fix this. -- RINGLESS IN RICHMOND, TEXAS

DEAR RINGLESS: When most mature couples marry, they have gotten to know each other well enough to know if their values and priorities are similar. Apparently, you and Harry tied the knot so quickly there wasn't time for that to happen. A way to "fix this" would be through marriage counseling -- provided you and Harry are willing to spend the money that way. Please suggest it.

DEAR ABBY: After my wife's funeral, many of our friends returned to the mortuary to collect the flowers they had sent. Some of them were very rude, insisting that because they had sent them, the flowers belonged to them.

This has upset our daughter, who was in charge of sending thank-you notes. Now she doesn't know who sent what because we were too distracted to look at the cards on the flowers. Is this something new, or are those people just rude? -- WIDOWER IN LIVINGSTON, MONT.

DEAR WIDOWER: When flowers have been sent -- whether for a birthday or for an occasion like a funeral -- they are no longer the property of the sender. They belong to whomever they were sent to. What your "many friends" did was insensitive and rude.

As to what your daughter should say in her thank-you notes, I suggest a short message to those who signed the memorial book at the funeral service: "Our family thanks you for attending Mother's funeral, and for your compassion during this sad time. Your thoughtfulness is deeply appreciated."

DEAR ABBY: I live with two of my best friends. We get along great because we respect each other's personal space and business. My problem is my roommate "Michelle" drinks alone in our apartment. She consumes eight to 12 alcoholic beverages in an evening. She does this once a week, usually during the week. The next morning she'll complain that she's "sick" when she has to get up for work, but I know she's hung over.

Our other roommate spends little time at our place and doesn't want to speak to her about this, even though he agrees she has a problem.

How should I approach Michelle about this? I'm afraid if I say anything she'll think I'm accusing her of being an alcoholic. I want to maintain peace in our home, but I'm worried about her. Any suggestions for how I should handle this? -- FEARFUL IN FAIRBORN, OHIO

DEAR FEARFUL: You are right to be concerned about Michelle. If she isn't an alcoholic, she is well on her way to becoming one. From your description, she is bingeing on a regular basis.

The way to approach her is to tell her you're worried. Eight to 12 drinks in an evening is a huge amount of alcohol. And if she's going to work hung over, it is already having a negative impact on her job.

Offer to attend an AA meeting with Michelle. (They are listed in most telephone directories.) When you get there you'll find pamphlets are available that contain a self-test people can take to determine whether they need help. I know for sure she will have to answer yes to at least one of the questions -- "Do you wish people would stop nagging you about your drinking?" -- because by the time you get there, you will have nagged her.

DEAR ABBY: I have just become engaged to "Egon," who is from Norway. He has a great job and is studying to be a masseur. He tells me often that he loves me and would never fall for another woman.

My problem is my sister "Ellen." She's happy about our engagement, but she keeps asking my fiance for lower back and thigh rubs. She claims she gets cramps from being on her feet all day.

Well, I'm on my feet all day and my thighs have never cramped up. What bothers me is Ellen makes embarrassing sounds of pleasure when Egon massages her. I'm upset with her because she constantly asks my fiance for massages, but I also get annoyed with Egon because -- in a weird way -- it feels like he's cheating on me.

He says it's his job and I'm being silly. What I want to tell my sister is, "Sorry, but those intimate rubdowns belong to me now. Find someone else for yours!" Abby, am I being unduly jealous or is what she's doing wrong? -- RUBBED THE WRONG WAY IN FLORIDA

DEAR RUBBED THE WRONG WAY: If you are going to marry someone who makes his living as a masseur, you need to understand clearly, in advance, that he will be working on all kinds of clients. This means men and women, some old and saggy, and others who are young, buffed and may be drop-dead gorgeous. Your fiance may enjoy his work, but it is work and he will receive compensation for his efforts. If the back and thigh rubs Ellen is requesting have become so frequent that it's making you uncomfortable, I suggest you and Egon agree that he shouldn't be giving away what he's selling, and instead he should offer your sister a "family" discount.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby -- Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: My 3-year-old goddaughter, "Tammy," is one of the most important people in my life. So are her parents, "Sophie" and "Zack." I was friendly with them separately before they got together. As a couple, they selected me to be godmother. They have since split up.

Zack is understanding about my staying neutral and continuing to be friendly with him and his ex. But Sophie gets mad and won't talk to me for weeks if she hears I went to see Tammy on a weekend she's with her daddy.

Even though I am closer to Sophie, Zack is a great father and a good friend. I don't think it's fair that Sophie expects me to take her side. I feel their issues are theirs alone, and my main focus is that my goddaughter have my support regardless of which parent she happens to be with.

Am I doing something wrong? If not, how do I handle Sophie? -- HONORED IN OMAHA

DEAR HONORED: You are doing nothing wrong. However, viewed from Sophie's perspective, it may appear that you have "chosen" her ex over her. A way to handle this would be to tell Sophie that you are not visiting Tammy when she's with Zack because you prefer his company over Sophie's. It's that you want your goddaughter to have continuity, and if Sophie is upset with Zack, she shouldn't displace her anger onto you because it's not fair to you or her daughter. And further, if this continues, Sophie will drive a caring friend (you) away.

DEAR ABBY: In this age of electronic devices, how appropriate is it to take photos at the table in a restaurant? I suppose it depends on the establishment -- probably not a problem in a casual buffet environment.

My boyfriend and I like to go to fancy restaurants (on our own and with friends), and we enjoy taking pictures of each other, our friends and the food. How do we handle this? Do other patrons care how many times we "flash" our cameras? -- SNAP-HAPPY IN BLOOMINGTON, IND.

DEAR SNAP-HAPPY: When making reservations at an expensive restaurant, ask whether it would be disruptive to take pictures. While some diners might not object, I can think of several reasons why some would find it intrusive. Because some "foodies" enjoy snapping photos of their table and the various dishes as they're presented, it may be possible to be seated in a location where the flash will not be a nuisance. However, the restaurant staff should be warned in advance.

DEAR ABBY: I volunteer at a hospital and help with mail sorting for the patients. I know it is important for patients to receive their mail -- even if they are no longer being treated at the hospital.

Abby, please advise your readers that when they send Get Well cards, to always use the person's own name -- like, "Betty Jones" instead of "Mrs. John Jones." Also, when sending a card or note to someone in the hospital, to always put the patient's home address as the return address on the envelope -- not their own. If your readers do this, the person is sure to receive it, even after he or she has been discharged from the hospital. -- JUDY IN LORAIN, OHIO

DEAR JUDY: Thank you for two perfectly logical suggestions -- which I'm sure the majority of people don't always consider when they're sending their good wishes. Readers, take heed.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $12 (U.S. funds)