DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend recently started turning away when I try to kiss him. When I asked him why, he explained that he has developed into a "germaphobe."

In the beginning of our relationship we never had this problem. What is happening? -- NEVER BEEN KISSED, LATELY

DEAR NEVER: Your boyfriend may be embarrassed to tell you that your breath is unpleasant. Or he may be trying to distance himself romantically. I recommend you ask him directly if either of these could account for the change in his behavior. If the answer is no and he really has developed a phobia about germs, then you'll have to decide if a kissless romance is enough for you.

DEAR ABBY: I have this friend, "Miranda." We share a lot of interests and I think we have the potential to be something amazing. I'm not a shy guy, but when I'm around her, I can't put my thoughts into words.

We will graduate from high school this year, and I'm afraid to lose touch with her and blow my chances of making our friendship progress. Any advice on what to do would be wonderful. -- MISSING OUT IN SAN DIEGO

DEAR MISSING OUT: At this point in your lives it would be premature to declare undying love. But it would be nice if you told Miranda that you think she's a special person and you'd like to stay in touch regardless of what directions your lives take you. That's a nonthreatening, huge compliment. And even if you haven't dated, she may be open to the idea of keeping up the contact. You'll never know if you don't try.

DEAR ABBY: My husband of 20 years has always exaggerated and embellished things. It doesn't matter what subject, the unvarnished version is never good enough.

The other day we "discussed" why it takes my son and me only 15 to 20 minutes to get to a nearby town, while he is adamant that it takes him a half-hour to 45 minutes. Mind you, this is driving the same route and obeying the same speed limits. I asked him how that could be. His answer? "Because you guys drive the SUV and I drive the little Ford Festiva."

Huh? I'm no brainiac, but how can the size of the vehicle make that much difference when you're going the same route and speed? -- EXASPERATED IN BURBANK, WASH.

DEAR EXASPERATED: It can't. And after 20 years of marriage to your husband, you should know better. (Could he be making a pit stop?)

DEAR ABBY: I work a night shift, and I am often still in my pajamas in the late morning.

If someone comes to my door I'm never certain if I should answer in my robe -- which may make the caller uncomfortable -- or not answer even though it's obvious that I'm home. What's the best thing to do besides getting dressed earlier? -- JAMMIED UP IN IRON RIVER, MICH.

DEAR JAMMIED UP: If your caller is a friend, he or she should know what your work schedule is and understand why you are still in your pajamas. If the person is a workman, you might be more comfortable being dressed before the appointment. However, if you don't know who is at your door, you are under no obligation to open it to anyone, nor to offer any explanation about your attire.

DEAR ABBY: I met a man here in Afghanistan. (We are both deployed.) Since that day we have been together. "Ben" knows that I love him very much. He is scheduled to leave in two months. I am scheduled to leave two months after that.

Ben lives in Georgia, and I come from Texas. We want to make it work when we leave here. I'll continue with my job, but because he's a contractor, Ben will be unemployed. I'm not worried about it because I know he's a go-getter.

Abby, I have had difficulty when it comes to relationships. I am scared to let my guard down and let this good man provide a life for my children and me. I trusted my kids' father and he walked out of our lives. Ben is everything I have prayed for. He took the step of giving me a promise ring and told me he'd always be here for me. Please give me some good advice on how I should handle this. -- IN LOVE IN AFGHANISTAN

DEAR IN LOVE: Being under life-and-death pressure sharpens all of the senses. When people are in a strange or dangerous environment, their emotions can be heightened. This is not to say that people in a war zone can't fall legitimately in love -- it does happen. And it may have happened for you and Ben. However, the test of the strength of your relationship will come after you are both back home in the USA.

You two have a ways to go before you step up to the altar. Your children need to meet Ben, get to know him and accept him. And he needs to prove to you that he can be not only a life partner to you, but a father to your children.

So my heartfelt advice is to take this one step at a time. Don't rush into anything. If this was meant to be, it will happen in its own time.

DEAR ABBY: A close female friend moved near me with the intention of starting a serious relationship. We're in our 20s and finishing college.

"Hallie" has just been diagnosed with stage 2 ovarian cancer. While her prognosis is fairly optimistic, her doctors say she'll be unable to have children. Hallie loves kids. Knowing she can't have any has broken her heart. I love kids, too, but it's not an absolute requirement for me.

I just started student teaching and can't be there for her during her chemo treatments and doctor visits. Last night, after a few days of pushing me away, Hallie offered me an "out." She told me I should think carefully about everything before deciding to go through all of this with her. I want to be with her in every way I can, but I can't help wondering how things may change for both of us if she beats this. -- TORN APART IN MICHIGAN

DEAR TORN APART: Hallie is an intelligent young woman. She understands the strain a diagnosis like hers can place on a relationship, so do as she has asked. If she beats the cancer, and you stay together and decide to marry, you will be like many other childless couples -- deciding whether to remain childless, adopt or hire a surrogate. You will also appreciate more fully than most what a gift each day you have together really is. And you'll love each other until death do you part.

DEAR ABBY: As the mother of a child with special needs, my heart goes out to "Boiling Mad in New Jersey" (July 23). My daughter, "Kate," is also stared at in public. I, too, used to bristle at the unwanted attention, until I began to open up and talk with people. I found most of them to be compassionate and merely curious. Sometimes seeing Kate triggered their memory of a loved one who was affected by a similar challenge.

As often as I can, I take the time to do mini "public service announcements" and chat with folks who linger, look or approach. It's a great way to build a bridge between disabled individuals, who have much to teach, and the non-disabled, who have much to learn. The kids are my favorites. They'll openly ask what everyone wants to know and say what others are afraid to risk saying.

Kate is 16 now, beautiful inside and out. She's pure, loves unconditionally and always forgives. She's our teacher. Please tell "Boiling Mad" that time heals some of the rawness of a fresh diagnosis, and if she'll try to find the best in others, she'll usually be right. -- HAPPIER NOW IN WASHINGTON STATE

DEAR HAPPIER: Thank you for your insightful letter. You are among many readers who shared similar views on transforming a "staring session" into a positive opportunity. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I worked with special-needs children for a number of years. I actually believe that it is good when people stare. It gives us a chance to help the child learn social skills.

Would "Boiling Mad" prefer everyone pretend her son doesn't exist? How horrible to isolate him like that. It'll make him miserable. The people looking aren't mean, they're just human. Children like to be looked at; it makes them feel important.

Her precious little boy doesn't have only disabilities. He has abilities, too, and developing them should be the focus of every activity she does with him. She'll be amazed at and proud of his growth. -- KATHY IN KNOXVILLE

DEAR ABBY: My child has moderate autism spectrum disorder. Although he looks like everyone else, his extreme behavior brings stares and comments (mostly about my parenting). I now regard it as an opportunity to educate them about autism. I hand them a card explaining it that contains a link to the Autism Society of America.

This tactic, rather than ignoring people, is the way to go. If more people educated others, the stares and rude comments would become smiles and support. -- JON IN BEAVERCREEK, OHIO

DEAR ABBY: I'm one of those folks who "stare" at others. By no means is there ever a bad intent. I'm a people-watcher. I love watching people communicate in different ways, like signing. Whether someone is in a wheelchair or has a visible disability, I value each and every person.

Maybe "Boiling Mad" doesn't understand that many of us are willing to reach out, lend a hand or just be friendly. I wish to embrace, not ignore, and I hope my behavior isn't perceived to be offensive. -- WELL-MEANING AND OPEN

DEAR ABBY: As parents of a daughter with Down syndrome, we often saw people -- mostly children -- who couldn't take their eyes off our Sara. When she asked us why they were staring and we told her it was because she was so beautiful, she decided to do them a favor and introduce herself. In crowded amusement park lines and outdoor events she'd walk over and say, "Hi. I'm Sara. What's your name?" We have had many great conversations with total strangers and met new friends this way over the past 23 years. Today, Sara and her mom speak at conferences all over the world promoting the hiring of people with disabilities. -- PROUD DAD IN VIRGINIA