DEAR ABBY: My mother passed away two years ago, and her first great-grandchild will be born in less than two months. I had hoped when I was still in my 30s to have a child of my own, so I had Mom crochet me a baby set -- sweater, booties, cap and blanket. Sadly, motherhood for me was not to be.
Do you think this baby set should go to the firstborn great-grandchild, or to Mom's favorite grandchild's children? The color is gender-neutral. Should I perhaps "loan" it to each of the great-grandchildren when they arrive to ensure that it will be maintained as a family heirloom? I paid for all the materials and Mom's time in creating these items. I feel it would be selfish not to share them. -- SOON-TO-BE-GREAT-AUNT
DEAR SOON-TO-BE-GREAT-AUNT: If you wish to establish that the baby set will become a family heirloom, stipulate that it is your intention that it be shared among the family members as more children come along. I do not recommend playing favorites with it, because to do so could create resentment.
However, it is important that you understand that once the baby set is given, it will be out of your control. There are no guarantees that it won't be damaged or hoarded. So unless you are ready to let go of it emotionally, don't give it away.