DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, "Kyle," and I decided to elope two weeks ago. His mother and mine had both said they'd be fine with an elopement. My sister and Kyle's brother were our witnesses -- other than that it was just us.
When we told Kyle's family, they were elated and congratulated us on the spot. When I called my mother, she didn't say much. A couple of days later, I called to make plans to visit her, and she began telling me how many people I had "hurt" by eloping. Mom and I have always had problems communicating and she has a long history of holding me to a higher standard than my siblings. (My sister also eloped, and there were no hard feelings then.)
I am frustrated with Mom and the other members of my family who have chosen to be hurt rather than happy for us. I wouldn't have eloped if I hadn't received the green light from Mom earlier. I have sent out a letter of apology, but I am annoyed that it takes the place of a real wedding announcement. Please help. -- BAFFLED ALBUQUERQUE BRIDE
DEAR BAFFLED BRIDE: I'm sorry you sent a letter of apology instead of a wedding announcement. You did not have to. If questioned about your elopement, all you had to say was you had the blessing of both your mothers before you did it.
Your mom may be upset that she was not among the "chosen few" to be present when you said "I do" -- and her criticism now may be a reflection of it. You have a husband who loves you and at least one sibling with whom you are close. Treasure that and stop depending on your mother's approval, and you will be better off emotionally than you are right now.