DEAR ABBY: I work six days a week at a minimum-wage job. My boss is constantly finding reasons to hug or touch me. Last week he even tried to kiss me. I left work that night feeling violated and upset.

It's really hard to find jobs right now. I can't afford to quit or get fired. What do I do to get this man to leave me alone and still keep my job? Please help! -- GROSSED OUT IN TEXAS

DEAR GROSSED OUT: Tell the man you don't like what he's doing and to stop it. If he doesn't, be sure that every incident is documented, including date and time. If the company has a sexual harassment policy, you should follow it or go to the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) or equivalent state agency office nearest you and file a claim. Your job will be protected during the investigation that will follow.

DEAR ABBY: My family and I recently spent time with my parents at their home in another state. After we returned, my 10-year-old son and his 14-year-old sister told me they don't like going to visit them. My mom loves us, but she is a negative and depressed person. She doesn't love Dad and doesn't bother to disguise that fact.

I mentioned this to a friend and she said I should tell my mother what my son said. She thinks it could make Mom "see the light" and change for the better. Considering my mother's depressed state, should I tell her? -- UNDECIDED IN MICHIGAN

DEAR UNDECIDED: Perhaps. But if you do, be diplomatic. You might begin by telling her you could see how "down" she was when you all came to visit, and that she could get so much more out of life if she sought professional help for her depression -- specifically some sessions with a licensed counselor. You could also mention that, while your father may not be her favorite person -- it would be better if it was not so obvious to the grandchildren, because they sensed the tension and mentioned it when they returned home.

If you broach the subject lovingly, she might listen and take steps to help herself. One thing is certain -- if you say nothing, nothing will change.

DEAR ABBY: I have been a social worker in two skilled nursing homes for the past six years. I often hear visitors approach patients with dementia and say, "Do you know who I am?" or "Do you know who this is?" It's like giving the person with dementia a test, one which the person will often fail. It would be more effective to approach the person and say, "It is so nice to see you. I am (whomever) and knew you (in whatever circumstances)."

Persons with dementia do not need to be reminded that they don't recall something. Most of them know it. Even relatives -- brothers, sisters, sons and daughters -- may need to introduce themselves to their loved ones. Rather than giving the person with dementia a test when you visit, set up the visit to succeed by making simple introductions.

Remember, people who have dementia can remember things that happened a long time ago, but they may not recall what happened in the last five minutes. Visitors should talk about the "good old days" and everyone will experience a good visit. -- P.B. IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR P.B.: Because increasing numbers of individuals are being diagnosed with dementia, I hope your suggestion will be taken to heart by my readers. In cases like this, the visitor should expect to be the one who guides the conversation. It's important to keep visits positive, loving and stress-free.

DEAR ABBY: Like most 16-year-old girls, I have a cell phone. My father pays for it and I'm grateful that he does, even though I live with my mom and he's a two-hour drive away. He has been paying for it for a year and a half.

Every month when I visit him he demands to see my phone. Then he looks through my messages and photos. There's nothing "bad" on my phone, but I feel my personal space is being invaded. I brought it up to him a few times, but he just said, "Deal with it!" He said if I don't want him to see something, I should delete it.

What can I do to get my dad to respect my privacy? I feel he wants to control my life. I want my own space. -- GETTING GRIEF IN GRANTS PASS, ORE.

DEAR GETTING GRIEF: I'm sure your father means well, but his attempt at "supervision" when you visit him seems heavy-handed. The first thing you should do is discuss your feelings with your mother. Perhaps she can help him understand that you're mature enough to be trusted. But if that doesn't work, you will have to figure out a way to come up with the money to pay for your own cell phone.

DEAR ABBY: My father went to prison when I was 2 months old. My mother and maternal grandparents made sure I had a relationship with him through phone calls and letters. They told me early on what he did, and I have worked through it.

After 22 years and eight parole hearings, my father has been granted a parole. He will be home with my paternal grandparents in October. I'm happy and excited, but he's trying to make up for lost time. He has a son who wants nothing to do with any of us, so it's all left to me. He said, "Your mother had you for the first 22 holidays. I get the next 22," and he expects me to spend the entire first week he's home at my grandparents' house with him.

I am very close to my mom and younger siblings. I love our holiday traditions and don't want to give any of that up. Furthermore, I'm not comfortable staying at my grandparents' home. I don't know them well, and I don't sleep well in strange places.

I work full-time, go to school and have my own house with my fiance. I think my father wants more than I am ready to give right now. What do I do? -- FEELING ANXIOUS IN MICHIGAN

DEAR ANXIOUS: Your father is starved for family, which is understandable, but he has overlooked the fact that rebuilding a relationship can't be done on a seven-day timetable. What you need to do is tell him that he is demanding more than you are ready, able and comfortable giving -- and you would prefer to get to know him at your own pace. And stand by that, or he may devour you as he tries to make up for all the years he has wasted because of his mistakes. Frankly, I think his demand is presumptuous, and I'm glad you wrote.

DEAR ABBY: I have two large dogs. They are very sweet, but they are young and can be hyperactive. On more than one occasion guests have requested that I put my dogs outside so they can be more comfortable.

I feel it's rude to ask such a thing when it is the dogs' home. They knew about my dogs prior to the visit. Am I wrong for not catering to my guests? Or are my guests wrong for even asking? -- BARKING UP THE WRONG TREE IN ARIZONA

DEAR BARKING: It is your responsibility as a pet owner to control your dogs and teach them good manners. If the presence of guests on the premises so overstimulates the dogs that they can't control themselves, then as a gracious host, you should remove them so they can calm down -- or not entertain at your home.

DEAR ABBY: "Pam" and I have been friends since childhood, when we attended preschool together. Our backgrounds are similar and we share the same religious views.

About two months ago, Pam suddenly stopped speaking to me. I have wracked my brain and honestly have no idea why. I have called, e-mailed and sent her letters to which she tersely replied, "Leave me alone."

I'm sick over it and don't know what to do. My kids love Pam and I adore her children and family. I cannot for the life of me imagine what would cause her to discard our friendship with no explanation.

I heard through the neighborhood grapevine that people suspect there must have been some kind of infidelity involved -- such as Pam's husband hitting on me or mine on her. According to one neighbor, "It's the only plausible reason" a friendship like ours would end so abruptly. I am beside myself. What should I do? -- HAVEN'T A CLUE IN NEW YORK

DEAR HAVEN'T A CLUE: I wish you had written me before soliciting advice from your neighbors because now you've got them talking. There may be something going on in your friend's life having nothing to do with you that she's not comfortable talking about right now -- which could also account for her silence. Try not to internalize what has happened and allow her the space she's asking for. The truth will come out eventually. It always does ...

DEAR ABBY: I am a disabled man and I live with my 75-year-old mother. Most of the time we get along OK, but Mom is a "clutter bug." I have never known her to throw anything away.

There are newspapers and magazines stacked everywhere in our home dating back at least 10 years. Mom doesn't want to invite anyone into the house. She says it's "a mess," but she won't take advantage of any professional cleaning or organizing services. We haven't entertained in 30 years!

Could this be a sign of Alzheimer's? What can I do about her? Please help. -- BURIED ALIVE IN AKRON

DEAR BURIED ALIVE: If your mother has been this way for 30 years, it's not Alzheimer's -- she's a compulsive hoarder. She may need psychological help and/or medication to overcome her anxiety about letting anything go. If you have a social worker who helps with your disability, talk to that person about finding help for your mother. If you don't, talk to her physician. The situation as you describe it indicates the house could be a safety hazard -- possibly a fire trap. Please do not procrastinate any longer because your lives could depend upon it.

DEAR ABBY: Is it odd to eat with one hand in one's lap? I didn't realize that I did it until my fiance's parents mentioned it to me at a dinner. When we subsequently ate with my family, I realized that every person in my family eats the same way.

My future in-laws say they have never heard of such a thing. My grandmother says it is good table manners, and I have no intention of changing. (My fiance and I are both third-generation Americans.)

What do we teach our (future) kids? -- PROPERLY TAUGHT IN ARIZONA

DEAR PROPERLY TAUGHT: Teach them the proper table manners that you were taught as a child. According to Emily Post, by the time a child is 12, he or she should have learned to "sit with good posture and feet firmly on the floor throughout the meal. (And) keep free hand in lap when not cutting food or passing items." (The italics are mine.)