DEAR ABBY: My best friend of 30 years, "Andrea," and her husband decided not to have children. They are happy with their dogs and cats.

She recently adopted a 10-year-old rescue dog and changed the dog's name to "Monique." Abby, Monique is my daughter's name! When I asked Andrea why she changed the dog's name, she said it is because no one in her family has that name. I am hurt that she would name her dog after my daughter, her godchild -- so much so that I no longer wish to speak to this woman. How do I get past this? -- MONIQUE'S MOM IN COLORADO

DEAR M.M.: I understand your feelings, but I hate to see a friendship of 30 years go down in flames because of one (albeit huge) lapse of judgment on Andrea's part. It appears she just loved the name. Avoid having your daughter and her dog in the same room at the same time, and you'll spare both of them from confusion. And remember, your Monique will have the name much longer than the dog will. This, too, shall pass.

DEAR ABBY: I have an old friend, "Erika," who, when we were working together, was my superior. My problem is Erika will, from time to time, ask me questions seeming not to know anything about the subject. However, as I begin explaining whatever it is, she'll then say something that indicates she really is well-versed in the matter and knows more about it than I do.

I end up feeling blindsided, stupid, and like I have been set up. Why does she do this? And how can I avoid falling into this trap? Erika seems so sincere when she asks a question. -- FALLING FOR IT IN DECATUR, ILL.

DEAR FALLING FOR IT: She may do it as a form of one-upmanship -- or "asking questions" may be her way of making conversation. Because it makes you uncomfortable, ask her why she does it and, while you're at it, tell her how it makes you feel. If Erika cares about your feelings, she'll stop trying to one-up you. And if she doesn't, accept that you will either have to keep your guard up when you're with her, or limit the time you spend with her.

DEAR ABBY: I don't cry at funerals. I am a Christian with a deep conviction that the deceased is in a better place.

I have been criticized for not crying. My sister-in-law chided me about it at my father-in-law's funeral. He had been sick and in constant pain for 15 years and died in his 70s. I didn't cry because he had lived a long and happy life, and had been finally released from chronic pain.

How do I answer these criticisms? I have given the reasons I have given you, but no one wants to accept that response. I'm tired of being told how I "should" show emotion at a funeral. Is what I feel or show really anyone's business but my own? -- STOIC IN COLUMBUS, OHIO

DEAR STOIC: No, it's not. And furthermore, funerals can be such wrenching events that sometimes emotions become mixed up and mourners -- rather than crying -- have been known to break into giggles and laughter. Because few people who have suffered a significant loss are at their best while they are grieving, please try to forgive these presumptuous individuals for their comments.

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DEAR ABBY: For 10 years my husband and I worked hard in our careers, but didn't have much to show for it. Our house is shabby and old, we carpool to save money and have been extremely frugal.

Last year we got lucky. We changed jobs and our salaries increased greatly. We paid off our student loans and are now debt-free. We have now decided to move to a nicer neighborhood with better schools for our children and because we can afford a larger home.

When I told our friends about the houses we have been considering, they accused me of "showing off" and not being "myself." They say my news about trips we've taken and how happy we are with our new jobs is "boasting."

I am embarrassed that I came off this way to friends, but it's a relief to finally be free of financial stress and able to afford a lifestyle we have only dreamed about. I intend to watch what I say now, so as not to annoy them.

Abby, is it more about jealousy on their part, or is it me being a bore? -- MOVING UP IN NEW BRUNSWICK, CANADA

DEAR MOVING UP: Frankly, it's a little of both. But it's more about the lack of sensitivity you displayed when you started crowing. In the future, talk about things other than your good fortune or keep your beak shut.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I desperately need help concerning our 25-year-old daughter, "Grace." She was always a bit "awkward," but we became more concerned about her as she neared adulthood. Grace misused her college money and dropped out of school. She has been evicted twice, and we have paid off several outstanding liens against her that amounted to thousands of dollars.

Grace has now decided she wants a baby, and she's six months pregnant. This month, at my urging, she married her fiance so she could be put on his medical insurance.

Grace was laid off her job, and they are trying to live on his income as a waiter. They struggle to pay the rent, there is little food in the apartment and she can't find a job. The maternity insurance coverage is only $3,000. I have urged her to seek county help, but she complained that it "takes too long" to hang on the phone or stand in line.

I am 62 and my husband is 73. We have one income and a son who's in college still living at home. We don't have the resources to give our daughter more money. I have always tried to please her and make things perfect. I don't see how we can "fix" this, but now there is an innocent life involved. What should we do? -- ANXIOUS IN ALBUQUERQUE

DEAR ANXIOUS: You have already done more than enough "fixing" for your daughter. Continue to encourage Grace to get help from the county or the state. She will need adequate nutrition to produce a healthy baby.

Also, what about your son-in-law's family? Are they capable of providing assistance, financial or otherwise, to the parents-to-be? If not, and you have reason to believe your grandchild won't be properly cared for, you must ensure that a social worker knows what's going on. There should be one on staff at the hospital where the child is delivered.

DEAR ABBY: My fiance and I are preparing for our wedding next spring. This is the first marriage for both of us. We are well-established in our careers and have a nice house with everything we need in it.

Abby, my fiance and I lost our fathers to cancer within the last few years. One of our biggest regrets is that we never got to meet each other's father, and they won't be at our wedding with everyone else we love.

Is there a polite way to ask our guests to donate to the American Cancer Society, their local hospice or a charity of their choice, instead of buying us things we don't need? It would mean far more to us knowing that some other dad who might have been lost to cancer will be able to walk his daughter down the aisle on her special day. -- SPRING 2011 BRIDE

DEAR SPRING 2011 BRIDE: While I commend you for wanting to help others whose lives have been touched by cancer, what you have in mind must be done "delicately" so no rules of etiquette are broken. No mention of gifts (or money) should be made on (or accompany) your wedding invitations.

However, it is customary for those who plan to attend to inquire about where the couple is registered or what they might need. At that point, it's permissible to say (verbally) that a donation to the American Cancer Society or to hospice, etc., would be appreciated for the reasons you stated in your letter.

And one more thought: Although your fathers-in-law died before you could meet them, please don't think they won't be at your celebration. Because they are in your hearts, they will not only be present at your wedding, they'll be with you always.

DEAR ABBY: About a year ago I was in the process of separating from my husband. I started looking for a place of my own, but after I found one, my husband said he wanted to "work things out."

While we were separated we slept in different rooms. During this time I met another man, "Craig." He knew I was married and I told him about the situation with my husband. Craig and I have not been intimate or even kissed. We have carried on inappropriate conversations via phone, e-mail and texting, and we have sent each other pictures through e-mail.

My husband and I have now reconciled, but I have been stringing Craig along on the chance that, if my marriage doesn't work out, he'll be there. I feel guilty about this. Is what Craig and I have done considered a form of cheating? What should I do? -- HEDGING MY BETS IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR HEDGING: Of course it's a form of cheating! You know that on some level or you wouldn't be feeling guilty. If you really want your marriage to work, you'll stop hedging your bets and devote yourself fully to it. You'll also level with Craig, tell him you and your husband have reconciled, ask him not to call you again and delete his texts and e-mails. If you don't, your husband could find them and your marriage will be over.