DEAR ABBY: I am a 40-year-old woman who feels like a single mother. My husband is lazy, has a negative attitude and hasn't held a job in four years. I provide everything in our marriage -- the money, the education for our 8-year-old son, plus I do all the housework, etc.
My husband graduated from a famous university with a bachelor's degree. I have a master's degree and am now studying for my doctorate.
When my husband had a job he would give his money to his parents or spend it on lottery tickets. His parents have more money than mine do.
To me, family is like a bank account into which you must deposit your love, your money and your responsibility. Unfortunately, my husband is always spending -- never saving.
There is no love between us. I think about divorce but worry that my husband will have no house to live in. Maybe I am being too kind. What words of advice do you have for me? -- Y.L. IN BEIJING, CHINA
DEAR Y.L.: It's time to stop worrying about your husband and start thinking about the example he is setting for your son. Do you want him to grow up thinking your household is normal?
Speaking woman to woman, since nothing else has worked it is time to try "tough love." Your husband will not be homeless -- he can stay with his parents until he decides he wants to act like a responsible spouse, finds a job and stops gambling his money away. If he straightens up, you can reconcile. Marriage is supposed to be a working partnership, and from where I sit you have pulled the entire load long enough.